To not be enjoying my cats?

[msalex]

I’m not going to rehome them. And I do love them in a way.

But I realised this morning I get no pleasure out of them at all and to be honest I wish I’d never got them.

They demand food as soon as I get up but it’s somehow not enough. After I’ve had a shower and am trying to get ready they are mewing round my feet wanting a second breakfast

One of them miaows so loudly - a real yowl of a sound and he does it at 2/3 am for me to put him out (can’t put a cat flap in - it’s a bottom floor apartment in a listed building) and it really disturbs my sleep terribly.

The eating, they just never stop. Even when their food bowls are full every time I stand up they thunder through to the kitchen and stand over their bowls miaowing.

I feel horrible as I feel irritated by them.

[CheeriosEverywhere]

They're not really an animal that gives a lot back (I think people who think their cats love them are deluding themselves - they want to sit on you because you're comfy and warm)

Speak for your own cat! My cat will sit on me any time, moving away from much warmer comfy places to do so. He miows until you stroke him and hold him and he'll sleep in your arms if you let him, like a baby. He'll stroke your face with his paw.
He gives me a huge amount back.

[Trinity66]

CheeriosEverywhere

Same with mine, he's really really affectionate

[gamerchick]

God I'm mean me. Mine doesn't get fed on a morning and gets one pouch on an evening with unlimited dried in her bowl. She's learned that there's simply no point in asking me for more but has been known to con the husband into believing she hasn't been fed.

If ignoring her doesn't work she gets hoofed out.

[CheeriosEverywhere]

mine is sitting on my shoulder licking my ear as I type

[poisoningpidgeysinthepark]

I know what you mean OP, when you're already overwhelmed the constant annoyance just gets too much. I often find myself hiding in the bedroom with earplugs in or going for a drive so I don't have to be around my DH's cat.

[deepestdarkestperu]

Can you try feeding them a really high quality dry food? Not from a supermarket, but a proper pet shop.

Ours get Lily's kitchen complete biscuits - they're grain free and don't have any fillers in. Plus occasional wet food - either Lily's pate-style or Applaws. I find the supermarket brands pretty rubbish - they're not filling and aren't very good for cats really.

Six pouches a day is a stupid amount - if you fed them something with a higher meat content you might well cut down your food bill.

[TheViceOfReason]

How much are you at home? Do they get enough fuss?

One of my outdoor cats is a massive whinge - including when her food bowl is full. She's got worse lately after her daughter disappeared. If she gets 5-10 minutes of dedicated fuss at each end of the day the whinging dramatically reduces. It's hard to summon up the desire to per her though when she is being so bloody annoying!

I'd suggest splitting them onto 50-50 wet and dry food - the dry takes longer to eat (and is much better for their teeth) so may help.

[50ShadesOfEarlGrey]

Increased meowing and yowling in older cats is a sign of dementia. It’s a phase (we just had our old boy put to sleep age nearly 19)symptoms included; increased desire for food, yowling, kitten like behaviour and then the worst of all, he would insist on your attention and once he knew you were watching would then pee, anywhere, everywhere, on furniture, people, books, tables. We confined him to the kichen, had two litter trays and ensured he spent lots of time outside. Vet kept telling us he was in remarkable good health. I however was crazy, frazzled, pee smelling old cat woman (and I still miss him).

[brasty]

I think I would put them outside for a set number of hours every day to give yourself a break. I would hate to have cats without a cat flap.
Hopefully if they are outside for an enforced number of hours, they will take residence with a neighbour instead.

[whiskyowl]

Some cats (and dogs) are just very food-obsessed. It's not a sign that they are hungry, but a sign that they are anxious about food and being fed. I've had loads of rescue cats from bad homes, and they've always started out a bit like this. It takes a few years for them to calm down.

I think having absolute certainty over feeding in the longer term is important. A timed cat feeder is a great idea. Feeding them in separate places (so there's no anxiety about one cat eating the other's food) may also help.

The other thing is making sure they don't get a reaction - if they sometimes miaow and you cave and feed them, it sends a really inconsistent message. Ditto for the crying to be let out at night - just ignore it, and give them a litter tray. They WILL stop if it doesn't work (though you will have to tough it out in the interim).

I believe you can get catflaps fitted to windows - and I'm having one fitted through a wall - don't know if this is a possibility for you?

[ManateeEquineOHara]

My older cat has started to behave like this. It is making me not really enjoy having her but I can tolerate as she is obviously aging now. In fact I keep considering posting on here about when it is time to PTS/knowing when they are no longer happy.

However the always running for food issue has been somewhat resolved as she was dx'd with overactive thyroid. If yours are older cats I would also suggest testing for this as always begging for food is symptomatic.

[LoverOfCake]

I think the thing with animals is that we have this ideal which states that you take on an animal and you love it unconditionally for ever otherwise that somehow makes you a bad person. When in reality certain animals can be far more annoying and far more irritating and demanding than others.

I adored my cats. But the reality was that when they were younger they killed things and brought them home, when they got older they became more demanding for food etc and one of them even started messing in the house because of a thyroid condition which made them very hard to like even though I loved them iyswim.

I was incredibly upset when they died but swore never again due to their demanding natures. That doesn't mean that I didn't love the actual cats at the time though iyswim but if I could have changed their behaviours at the time then I would have.

However, a year on and there I was at the rescue centre adopting another cat. unfortunately this one wandered just too far from home one day and ended up getting herself hit by a car. She was in fact probably the most annoying cat but had by far the most personality of any of my cats to date, and so although on reflection I said that adopting her was something I perhaps wouldn't have done again in retrospect, I still loved her and was still devastated when she was killed.

I'm sworn off cats for good now not just because they can be annoying - in fact I think I would get used to that, but because having one killed young was incredibly upsetting and I don't want to go through that again while I'm living here. But maybe if I ever move then who knows......

But IMO it's a myth that animal ownership is a 100% dream because it really isn't - any more than parenting is a 100% dream, and nobody bats an eyelid if we talk about the kids being bloody annoying so why do people have this blinkered view when it's an animal?

Not enjoying them doesn't mean wanting to rehome or being depressed.

[Papergirl1968]

For goodness sake, do NOT kick them out overnight or even during the day. It’s winter and one is elderly.
My own little prince is so pampered it’s unbelievable. He pretty much gets fed on demand and yep, is podgy, but he is good as gold.
To me he is as precious as the children. I have depression and he is a comfort and makes me laugh.
Perhaps they just want you to talk back to them. Try posting in the litter tray for more suggestions.

[50ShadesOfEarlGrey]

Sorry OP, I meant to add that actually, although I really miss him now, I was so fed up with the noise he was making and incessant demands for food that I was actually at the end of my tether on many occasions, and did consider asking the Vet to put him to sleep about a year before he went. Fortunately the peeing only came towards the end.

[QuiteUnfitBit]

Black cats are statistically more difficult to rehome in rescue centres.
That's interesting. We had two beautiful black cats from the RSPCA, and I've always said I'd never get another black one, as I was forever almost sitting on them, or tripping up over them, as they blended in with our furnishings!

[KingLooieCatz]

I can relate, at times we have certainly felt we wouldn't be gutted if ours shuffled her mortal coil, she's about 20 but apparently going from strength to strength.

DH often feeds her when she actually wants attention e.g. cuddles, or just to be plonked on a lap. Especially when we're all sitting down in the kitchen.

Feliway plug in might help.

She is shut in the kitchen overnight, after waking me at least once a night for a couple of years. I wish I'd done this earlier, I thought she'd miaow loud enough to wake us all up but she doesn't.

She has recently gone on thyroid meds and the fussing about food has reduced. Before the meds she had got really fussy, e.g. seemed hungry but didn't want to eat what she was given.

We were recommended a vets practice that only do cats - worth checking to see if once exists near you, we feel we get much better advice and the whole visit is more relaxed, no dogs in the waiting room.

[punicorn]

Cats are little bastards at times. Do check their health though if they are eating a huge amount and are constantly hungry. The older cat could have a thyroid issue (my last cat had this and she was so hungry all the time she used to get inside the dishwasher whilst I was loading it just to lick the plates - could have ended badly that one!!). Worms are another issue. My current cat (black, from a rescue centre) eats and eats when he has worms (he is an outside-all-night-mouser). I've always been a cat fan, but got my first dog a few years ago and tbh he is far less needy than any bloody cat I've ever had!

[theEagleIsLost]

Would routine help?

I've seen that recommended on my cats from hell - you play and exhausted them before feeding at set times – so their day has structure and a set pattern.

Maybe if you trawl through his stuff on you tube you might find something that could help?

[Clitoria]

My ma has a cat the same as this OP, it makes the most intolerable screaming noises when it’s awake, when it go’s out it body slams the windows, screaming, to get back in, it has had every imaginable brand of food and meat, bowl filled constantly throughout the day, nothing is good enough. There’s fuck all wrong with it, it’s been to the vet a few times a year, wasting money on that as well the £1000s on feeding it for over a decade, it’s just a pointless fucker. It has put me and all my relatives off it’s entire species for life. No more cats ever, ever again.

[Chowmum]

@BahFriggingHumbug
I hear you. I blame the chickens.

[brasty]

Some cats are a total pain. A friend has a cat that I hate.

[ghostyslovesheets]

I have 4 cats 3 I love but 1 is an asshat- I regret getting him

He wees on everything- refuses dry food - demand food constantly

He is an oriental tabby cross and very loud

But I do love him very much - he’s just a fury twat!

[claraschu]

Sorry about the repeated cat flap messages! I think people wanted to be absolutely sure that you know cat flaps can be put into windows and through stone walls (my neighbours with a listed building put a cat flap through very thick stone walls).

[Chowmum]

Black cats (and dogs) are even more unpopular now than they used to be.

Because they don't look good in selfies. People are shallow.

[VioletHaze]

I agree with others that six pouches is a lot, and I'm not sure that wet food is always as filling as biscuits. I'd get some decent dry food (vets recommended brand) and cut back on the wet food slightly, and see if they start filling up on biscuits more. Might that help?