To feel this was hurtful?

[lill72]

So, my daughter gets brought home from a class by a mum every week. This morning she tells me that she cant do it next class as she organised something at her place. She then goes onto tell me some other girls have been invited but not my daughter. No need to know this. Ugh. Not the first time this has happened. She also gave me the heads up my DD was not invited to her DD birthday party. Cheers. How would you handle this? She is very clearly trying to do something - not sure what you call it. Seems very juvenile to me.

Penn op is explaining exactly how it's hurting her, it is hurting her. I think we will begin to differ

Its not just that one time Peng, op has said she had done this before, it smacks rubbing her face in it, the motive behind it, is not nice. I have seem these types of people myself. Now quite rightly, she is fed up of it.

I agree, she needs to stop this arrangement, she is under no obligation to do this.

Penn - I can see how you think it is an overreaction, however as said it is just one in a long line of things said and done. This is the straw that has broke the camels back so to speak.

I am in shock actually - I don know anyone so blatantly rude. There is no one I know that tells you when you are not invited. If it was such a thing, why dont you see non-invitations in the shops. Im being silly but hopefully take my point.

As other poster said, it is about the information not the invitation.

Aerofleet - you have said exactly how I feel very well.

And yes looking into another arrangement

I don't know whether you are over reacting or not. Or whether she is being perfectly reasonable, mildly tactless or incredibly rude (all possible options) But I do think that you would be cutting off your nose to spite your face to give up a lift sharing arrangement that works so well for you.

Bertrand - I may have to change anyway with my other DD arrangements so it was a possibility anyway

It seems like its not working well, because of the other mother's behaviour.

Aerofleet - yes this is correct.Every week there is judgement shown to my DD I feel too

lil, life is too short for all that crap. Message her that you cannot do the lifts anymore after such date, that's it.

Penn - you obviously have no sense of humour - it's a joke to show how utterly ridiculous it is to get a non-invite in person.

Happy for you not to engage. You seem to be in the minority on this.

Yes Aeroflet - looking into now. It affects a few mums so need to work out the best plan. But life is too short.

Elli - talk to the hand. You have to be joking - I am nothing like you describe. I have never been in circle that tells each other about children not invited. I just find this odd and really dont see the point unless their was a good reason.

It is not a birthday party - it is a Christmas type party.

There is not a massive backstory at all. Just little things over time which have led to my reaction.

Elli - I actually said to her 'fair enough when she explained the story. I was annoyed at how nice i was about it when it doesnt deserve t. I am not thankful she told me. I dont want to know.

Disconnect from that nasty - no lifts & encourage your daughter to stay away from hers aswell!

I think you need to protect your daughter and actively limit her exposure to this person. I imagine your daughter has some awareness of how this woman treats her less favourable that her daughters other friends.

We had a similar issue with a step relative. It was very subtle when I was present but another step relative witnessed it when I wasn't there and kicked off about it. In hindsight I should have acted earlier but felt it was too minor to bring up a few odd comments and missing out on treats or getting a smaller portion etc.