Boss not closing toilet door

[hdgxx]

Am I being unreasonable to be really annoyed that my "boss" never fully closes/locks the door when going to the toilet. I'm an early 20s female, he is a middle aged man who should have learnt toilet etiquette by now.

We share a toilet, there aren't many of us that use this one, and I only mainly use tap in there to refill my cup, which is relatively often as I like to keep hydrated, and it is the only one on the floor in the building. But a few times now I have had the displeasure of walking in on him mid-pee. He finds it hilarious, and I always express that I clearly do not find it even remotely funny. By the way, the toilet in question is a gender-neutral, disabled toilet.

He is a massive twat very ignorant generally but for me this just crosses the line. What would you do? He is very unapproachable.

It is absolutely not the same water that comes out of the kitchen taps

How do you know how the OP's workplace is plumbed???

Certainly the water in my workplace's toilet is the same stuff as the water in the kitchen, that's why they are right next to each other.

In any case, it's totally irrelevant. The boss is being a massive dickhead... OP, have you tried putting up a passive-aggressive sign on the door to remind users to lock the door?

Just start calling him Harvey Weinstein when he does it. Men like this get off on minimising what they are doing. Calling him a pervert's name will greatly upset him as no man likes to be called out on their bullshit.

I told her very often how much I loved her and how much of an inspiration she was to me. I was a proper fan girl. She was a brilliant feminist- always managed to make her points rationally, without getting angry and in such a way that the "not all men", "that's inverse sexism" squad didn't have a leg to stand on.

I was gutted when she emigrated but we're still in occasional email contact.

Bella's story is great - and do you notice what stopped the boss from doing it again? The threat of HR.

Not putting up a passive-aggressive sign, or thinking up a stupid nickname to call him, or trying to shame him. Actual consequences.

The water may be the same as the kitchen but the germs won't be. Shit particles and men hold their cocks while pissing then touch the taps. Then you touch the taps to fill your cup . Grim

Yeah and the air is full of "shit particles" so every time you breath you are breathing them in. And almost everything you touch has been touched by people who didn't wash their hands after going to the loo. And your actual body is a arren of waste products, bacteria and decay.
So either embrace life and don't think about it or spend your days wiping things with dettol wipes and worrying about contamination.

I would personally report him to his senior, or HR. Very inappropriate and it is sexual harrassment.

Ffs. Man clearly lacks boundaries and enjoys making his younger female staff members feel uncomfortable. But let's focus on the water op chooses to drink instead

YANBU op, you should report him. It's not difficult to lock a toilet door.

OP already has the 2 possible solutions: knock first and/or report him. And the usual handmaidens suggesting she is really the problem for wanting to go in there at all.

If there is only one toilet, it isn't unusual for that one toilet to be both accessible and unisex I think it is quite normal for disabled toilets to be unisex as there is often only one and disabled people can be male or female. It doesn't mean that being male or female means you should be using them.

There is only one toilet by the sound of it.

grannytomine in places where there is only one toilet, it has to be made accessible for everyone to use. That means it is accessible to both people with disabilities (both sexes) and people without disabilities. Think of toilets in coffee shops, for example.

How did this thread, (about a male boss flashing someone who works for him) get derailed by taps and drinking water? Can we stick to actually helping the OP deal with the real problem: her pervert boss?

Pretty much everyone has told her to report him.

You keep 'hydrated' from the sinks in the loos?

The person leaving the loo door open is inappropriate, obviously.

Speak to him and simply say "I realise you find this funny, but I find it extremely inappropriate and uncomfortable. Please lock the door. Otherwise, if it happens again, I will be forced to report you and I really don't want to have to do that because I value our working relationship. I hope you value it too".

Please report this asshat. He sounds vile.

Don't warn him about reporting him, or he may decide to get in first and make out you've been acting inappropriately. Just report it now. It's an established habit.

So... this is definitely exhibitionism and sexual harassment then? This happened to me in a former life.

I would wait til he is back in the office and ask him why he leaves the door open. In front of other colleagues though.

Yep.

If it happened once then i suppose could be considered a one off/mistake, but it's been happening repeatedly then I'd say it's definitely done on purpose.

Don't warn him about reporting him, or he may decide to get in first and make out you've been acting inappropriately. Just report it now. It's an established habit.

I agree with this. Stop putting up with it.

Actually my brother does this. It’s vile. He also used to flash all the time to me from when I was 12/13 til I was 18/19 when I went to university. He’s 2 years older. Used to do it with his friends as well. Three idiots all wangling their willies just in front of me not knowing what to do.

I’d report him. Do the female population a favour.

Harvey Weinstien, Part 1. never mind the toilet tap. What do your other colleagues think? Is he the overall boss? Do you have a union (even if you are not a member you can still report it). As others say report to HR. Make a note from now on of time/date of any other inappropriate behaviour and tell a colleague what has happened.
Put a notice on the toilet door "Please lock this door when you are using this loo." date it and photograph it and if colleagues ask why tell them.
If you can't access anyone to report him to, look for a new job before it gets to Part2.
Don't be alone with him in the office. If you, are make an excuse and get a colleague. Ask any family and friends who could drop by and visit your office, purely to say hello to you when he is there so that its clear to him you are not unsupported. Dont engage in any personal conversation with him if you can help it. My normal friendly politeness was taken to mean strong encouragement by a similar office creep. After that I had to have my guard up to the point of rudeness by this utter s@@t
He sounds like an absolute creep. Make sure you tell someone about this.

It is absolutely not the same water that comes out of the kitchen taps

Most places don't have a water tank these days. All the same water.