Boss not closing toilet door

[hdgxx]

Am I being unreasonable to be really annoyed that my "boss" never fully closes/locks the door when going to the toilet. I'm an early 20s female, he is a middle aged man who should have learnt toilet etiquette by now.

We share a toilet, there aren't many of us that use this one, and I only mainly use tap in there to refill my cup, which is relatively often as I like to keep hydrated, and it is the only one on the floor in the building. But a few times now I have had the displeasure of walking in on him mid-pee. He finds it hilarious, and I always express that I clearly do not find it even remotely funny. By the way, the toilet in question is a gender-neutral, disabled toilet.

He is a massive twat very ignorant generally but for me this just crosses the line. What would you do? He is very unapproachable.

eeeww on both counts - he should lock the door but also really shouldn't fill your cup up from toilet sink! think of all the wee and poo particles on the taps/sink!Is he 'a' boss or 'the' boss - i'd have a serious final word saying not appropriate - if it happens again report either to another boss, his boss or have you got a HR person?

I'd report him, what a creep.

Agree with others I wouldn't get my drink from the tap in the bathroom. It's not the same water. Can you not ask for a water cooler on your floor?

Knock on the door. I don’t see why any decent professional would not close the door though.

If I was you I’d always reverse back out of the toilet if I saw he was in there

Also I’d never drink tap water from a toilet.

Also if it’s a big disabled style loo why isn’t the door locked?

Thanks for all relevant responses! As for the tap in the toilet, it is perfectly safe/clean to use to drink, but I appreciate your concern!

I would report him, each time he does that, close the toilet, and say toilet doors should be kept closed here please.

Treat him like the child he is.

Eww.

Sounds like he is doing it on purpose. How disgusting.

Sorry to bang on about the minor part of your post, but drinking tap water from a shared bathroom at work is grim.

drinking tap water from a shared bathroom at work is grim.

I don't get this.

What is grim about it? And would it be less grim if it were not a shared bathroom? Or not at work? What parts exactly are so grim?

Men should not be leaving the doors open in cubicles anywhere. It's really unpleasant behaviour, and whether he's doing it because he's a lazy bastard, or whether he's doing it because he's a creep and unwillingly co-opting you into seeing his genitals, it's unacceptable. Take a note of how often it has happened so far, and if you have a union, have a word with them.

I would have thought that the OP won't be seeing anything but his clothed back tbh. Unless he's turning round and waving it.

Some people are fucking disgraceful

Next time you walk in on him. Stop, tilt your head slightly while acting like you're looking at his appendage then stifle a laugh before you walk out or saying "oh dear" works equally well

Yep. Let the flasher know that you have seen his penis. Give him the response he craves. Escalate the situation by actively looking at his genitals.

Once and for all....people who behave inappropriately in this way are LOOKING FOR EXACTLY THIS RESPONSE. Saying something you imagine is oh-so-cutting like "OOh, it's like a willy only smaller" is NOT going to cause the person to feel all awkward and decide to stop.

Flashers (and this is what he is) really get off on having someone see their genitals, especially if they are distressed/embarrassed/startled. They don't imagine their victims are aroused or enjoy it in any way. If you have seen their penis, then job done as far as they are concerned - you then trying to be all cool and unimpressed and ACTUALLY COMMENTING ON THEIR PENIS isn't the massive crushing put-down people often think it is. All it tells them is they can keep doing it.

Knock first, if he doesn't respond saying he is in there when he is then he's getting a kick out of it.

Yuck on both counts. Your boss is gross-bring it up when th HR. Toilet tap water is also gross. You do realise that once he finishes his business he (hopefully) the touches the taps with his hands that have just been touching his junk so that he can wash them.

He is a flasher and he is flashing you at work and getting off on it. Grim. Report him and talk to your union if you have one as well.

I don't get this.

What is grim about it? And would it be less grim if it were not a shared bathroom? Or not at work? What parts exactly are so grim?

Because it's typically not fresh from the mains like kitchen taps are. And going by the people who I work with, some don't seem to understand that it's unhygienic not to wash your hands afterwards. I went to the toilet the other day. They are individual cubicles but one guy was standing there with the door wide open (there's a mirror opposite) gave it a little shake, came out, splashed a bit of water on his hands, then LICKED one of his hands, ran the hand through his hair and then walked out whistling. We have sensors to activate water so I didn't have to touch anything but if I had I would have used tissue. Another guy was making tea and opened the milk, sneezed directly into the vicinity of the carton and then passed it to me asking if I wanted to use it. Erm, no?

Well I suppose if you aren't disabled you shouldn't be using it?

I did say if as I don't know if you are disabled, might have missed that.

OP - forget the water stuff - but you haven't commented on the advice to report him - is there a process at your work?

Are you scared of the repercussions?

That is why you have to report - be cause if you try to deal with it yourself there will be repercussions.

The fact that he is vile anyway all adds up and HR will be ready to reprimand him and warn him that if he picks on you another way they will be watching - they probably have a file a foot wide.

You cant deal with these freaks directly - they need the full weight of authority - he is just a misogynist who would get off big time on your reaction and you trying to deal with it.

Take a deep breath and cut to the chase.

If there is only one toilet, it isn't unusual for that one toilet to be both accessible and unisex, @grannytomine.

I had an old boss that used to do this.

We had a new woman start work. She was very junior and very quiet. Someone warned her about his toilet behaviour. On her second day, she walked in on him weeing and let out an absolutely bloody curdling scream.

A few people went rushing to where it came from. She was very calm and collected but just kept on repeating that the boss had flashed at her and she needed to speak with HR immediately.

It really shit him up. He managed to talk her down and he never did it again.

She later told us that she planned it all along. She was horrified when someone told her about the toilet door so had to nip it the bud. Despite her junior role and her quiet demeanour she was a tough cookie. I loved her to bits.

Bella - that woman is a star!!!

BellaHadid I hope that woman knows how magnificent she is!