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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect not to be whispered about in the school carpark ?

119 replies

scatterbrain · 20/04/2007 09:26

Grrrrr !!!

So - basically two other mums at school - I have sort of fallen out with both of them about minor things over the last year or so - and today they were standing in the carpark whispering behind their hands and GIGGLING fgs quite clearly about me !!

How old am I? err 40 ? How old do I feel ? 13 !!

OP posts:

powder28 · 08/05/2007 16:19

Scatterbrain, where have you gone? Have you rung her?

SpawnChorus · 08/05/2007 16:28

DrDaddy: (Alternatively just flick them the V's every time you see them, or run your finger slowly across your throat and mouth "YOU" - that'll do the trick too )

pmsl

Original poster

scatterbrain · 08/05/2007 16:31

Soz - had to go and get dd from school !

No haven't rung her - far too confrontational for me ! Did reply to her email saying that for me the trust has been destroyed and there was no way back for me. Pretty final I guess ! Am waiting for the next email now !

OP posts:

lou33 · 08/05/2007 16:34

ask them when they are going to remove those aubergines shoved up their arses, because it might improve their moodiness

i have a great technique for school runs, i stay in my car as long as possible, get out and put sunglasses on and headphones and dont speak to anyone

occasionally the odd brave soul breaks through, but not usually trwice in a row

powder28 · 08/05/2007 16:38

Oh Scatterbrain, I think you should ring her and try to build some bridges, even if you loathe her. If you ring up and tell her you would like to come to her party, but you didnt think you were still invited, and you were being prickly because of the situation, she will probably still want you to go.
If you have to see these people on a regular basis it just makes it less horrible for you if you are at least civil to one another.

Original poster

scatterbrain · 08/05/2007 16:50

No but I don't want to go to her house - not ever again, she has shown her true colours and now I know that I do not like the person she really is.

I will be civil - but i do not want to be "friends" again.

you think I'm being unreasonable don't you ?

It's just that I can't bear bullies and bitches - and I don't want to be part of that group !

I just want to be on the periphery !

OP posts:

lou33 · 08/05/2007 16:53

i dont think you are being unreasonable

powder28 · 08/05/2007 16:57

No, I don't think you are unreasonable. I just agree with the old 'keep your enemies closer' way of thinking. I agree this woman sounds dreadful, but you don't have to be yourself around her. Do you see what I mean? If you want to keep things sweet, just humour her. You don't have to mean it.

newgirl · 08/05/2007 17:05

scat - oh crikey - the thing is you feel shit and feel awkward in the playground and this needs to stop for your wellbeing.

you might remember my view last time - i didn't think your email was 100 per cent clear and she may have got the wrong impression.

Yes I think the whispering in the play ground is wrong, BUT she has emailed to discuss the arrangements. This could be FIXED!!!

If you could bear it, say something to her - get it sorted as calmly as possible. I honestly would say to her tomorrow morning 'thanks for your email - I was surprised to be honest' see what she says. then say, 'i am sure we have both got the wrong end of the stick - anyway, ive got to rush off to work, but have a good day' - and grit your teeth and head off.

Because if not this will go and on!! emails are not the way - its cowardly!!

powder28 · 08/05/2007 17:14

Yes, everything newgirl said

newgirl · 08/05/2007 17:17

and i agree with powder!

you dont suddenly have to be best mates or go to dinner - just make things more comfortable for you day to day

i am sure anyone else will be keeping well out of it, so dont worry about that side of things

crayon · 24/07/2007 21:38

I have just read this whole thread and without wishing to sound nosey, wondered what happened in the end?

Hoping it's a happy ending - playgrounds are grim places for parents at the best of times.

Leati · 24/07/2007 21:53

Who cares what a couple of gossipy women think about you? What matters is what you think about you? Don't let someone else undermine you confidence in yourself and who you are.

Howdydoody · 24/07/2007 22:50

Got me interested too! Have just done a new thread to get her attention

crayon · 25/07/2007 09:30

I can't find it HowdyDoody - is it on here or relationships?

clutteredup · 25/07/2007 09:32

here with a link to another thread with scatterbrain

crayon · 25/07/2007 16:13

Aha, thanks

pinkyminky · 26/07/2007 14:21

I just wanted to say something about some of the messages on this thread. I read it because I am getting fed up with being excluded by cliquey groups of women. They seem to be almost everywhere I go with my children. It's like being back at high school.
I was however rather upset to read some peoples comments about mothers who stay at home. I have friends who work full time and have children and friends who stay at home and friends who work part time. The bitchiness described by the op is very upsetting, and I have experienced it for myself, by groups of women, some of whom work and some of whom don't. I feel that judgemental attitudes regarding other people's life choices are part of what makes getting on with women so difficult.
we are all trying to find the best way through motherhood for our families and for ourselves
and a bit or tolerance goes a long way.

crayon · 26/07/2007 15:43

Here here Pinkyminky. Sometimes it seems like it is OK to criticise SAHM but not the other way 'round.

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