How unreasonable was my understandable (in my opinion) behaviour

[MrsCrabbyTree]

A memory from 15+ years ago came to mind when talking with a friend last night. Friend and I can't decide whether my behaviour was unreasonable. It certainly was understandable.

I was invited to a co-workers' wedding and was asked if I would collect and drive 2 couples who were coming from out of town and was happy to do so, as we were all friends, until, someone dropped the fact I was only invited so they would save money on taxi fares. Sure I was a little hurt but their behaviour at the wedding hurt the most.

The wedding reception was a cocktail evening, no seating, with waiters coming around with finger food. Everyone stood around in groups of friends. My friends disappeared after a while. I started to feel terribly awkward by myself.

I found a few days after the wedding that the other couples had left the reception to go one of the bars - part of the building but separate businesses to the reception room. After 4 hours and not knowing where they were they were, I was still standing by myself like the proverbial wallflower. I couldn't drink more than a glass or two as I was the designated driver. Wine would have helped me not care!!

So I left, as I felt crap in so many ways, and because I couldn't hold back the tears any longer. Left so-called friends to find their own way back to the motel where they were staying.

Would you have done the same as me or not?

Being a doormat doesn't make people like or appreciate you, it makes them wipe their feet on you.

This is very true.
I don't think you behaved badly, either, just to add my voice to everyone else's.

i've never heard you should wait for the bride and groom to leave first, surely they have to stay until the end?

standing around on your own for 4 hours at a wedding is just silly - no one expects someone to do that at an evening do?

Two possible things could have happened to your colleagues.

Either they noticed you missing, and realised that they would have to pay for a taxi and so didn't get to spend as much money at the bar (doubtful).

Or (far more likely) they had no intention of talking to you until it was the time they wanted to head back to the hotel, so had no idea that you had gone until they had spent loads of money on drinks and were quite drunk. They would have been mightily pissed off that they then had to fork out for a taxi, but didn't have the gumption to say anything to you because they would have had NO idea when you had left, whether you had tried to find them, or anything. Which is why they didn't say boo to you afterwards.

"Being a doormat doesn't make people like or appreciate you, it makes them wipe their feet on you."

Just repeating this (again) because it is so, so true. And took me about 35 years to learn.

burnoutbabe - not necessarily - about half the weddings I've been to, the B&G leave in a ceremonious way, often through a tunnel of their friends, and get into the traditional "Just married" car, and drive off.
The other half, yes, the B&G stay til the end.
Either way is "normal", although I think the early leave+ drive away thing is becoming less common.