No Janet you can’t OWN running

[Janetsadick]

It’s not “your” hobby.

Nobody is stealing your thunder by taking up running.

If you faux roll your eyes and mention it again I’m going to throw a fucking stapler at your head

AIBU?

Ah, I have a Janet, mine is Michelle. She owns bobbed haircuts and blazers.

christ WHO WANTS THAT

What all of them?

YABVU!

I’m the Janet of ‘gin’.

I have always drunk gin since I was 18 - that’s 25+ years - and now every fucker is on it, and apparently a bloody expert!

Only joking; I love that these days whenever I’m at a dinner party or a get-together with friends or family there is guaranteed to be my favourite tipple available.

Subscribe everyone to an online running blog and ask I.T. to block the site from Janet's computer.

Well I in fact own running as I was doing it from the age of two.
I also have a running app, does Janet have a running app ? And a running audiobook? I run so much I need an audiobook so I don't die from running related boredom

This is the funniest thread I have read for a while. Thanks!

I have someone who owns restricted diet based on absolutely no allergies or conditions whatsoever.
Then fist bumps another friend telling us of her recent diagnosis with dietary condition “now you’ll see what I have to contend with” erm no, Janet.

Just go whole hog and tell her you want to be her. Dress the same.

Who the f*+k is Janet?

My Auntie sat me down when I was 16 and told me I couldn’t go to university to study Greek mythology even though I didn’t want to because her daughter was going to do it. My cousin was 11 at the time. But apparently she owned Greek mythology

I have my running gear in my bag.

Janet is making coffee.

I may put my sweatband on my head and just sit here and type, all nonchalant and breezy

I own sleeping. I declare everyone else in the world to be insomniacs. Start burning your mattresses!

Do it.

I used to fanatasise stapling intruders to the wall when I worked in a school/leisure centre open to all...in the evenings.

Create proper runner image. Run in in the morning, full gear. Flex whilst on the phone. Run on the spot in the lunch queue. Wear a 1985 San Fran Marathon t-shirt with cracked print.

No, Janet, you can't have "running" to "yourself".

I hate Janet.

Fooking Janet.

So who the fuck owns prosecco then. Go on, own up.

I'm guessing that Janet is someone in OPs office who when told that OP or another colleague is taking up running says they can't because Janet "owns" it.

I also own eating. And have patented it. No one else is allowed to eat. Pity that means you all have to die. I do so like my own company.

Anyway, OP, time for a nc after this, such an outing hobby. I already know who you are. I also know who Janet is. You need to anonymise this sort of sensitive information.

As Janet owns running can you pass her address on to the NHS who may want to look into charging her for all the injuries and long term wear and tear she has caused by people using her product.

I own cheese - booyah!

Just be grateful she hasn't discovered Fucking Crossfit. Crossfit is like the opposite of fight club: you HAVE to talk about it.

Don't throw your stapler. Print out screeds of papers on the drawbacks of running. Knee cartilage problems, shin splints, being chased by angry dogs, needing the toilet four miles from home and soiling yourself, whatever. Staple them all together and leave on her desk with a face post-it note.