No Janet you can’t OWN running

[Janetsadick]

It’s not “your” hobby.

Nobody is stealing your thunder by taking up running.

If you faux roll your eyes and mention it again I’m going to throw a fucking stapler at your head

AIBU?

I've just realised I know a Manet!

He Manets the shit out of Aldi!

If you turn up to a party with a bottle of wine he will tell you how much it would have been if it was from Aldi. If you do buy it from Aldi he'll look all put out and ask which branch.

He applied for a job there once. He didn't get it

@TheDonald you have to be totes spesh to get a job at Aldi!!!!!

Ooh and he's the Manet of Jeremy Corbyn. He saw him first and he definitely loves him and knows him more than anyone else in the world.

This is despite the fact that another friend used to live in his constituency and had dealings with him back in the 80s and Manet had never heard of him until 2015.

My former work colleague Janet owned whatever-ails-the-person-she-worked-with-that-day. Such as back pain, sore throat, sleep-deprivation, income tax code issues, etc.

I explained I would be off for two weeks and would need a further two weeks of light duties as I was having a lump removed she asked "in your boob?" and when I said yes said "I've got that". Got to my first day back (light duties) and I explained I wouldn't be moving the heavy/bulky items she asked why, I said I wasn't to lift my arm and she tried to claim it (slept funny) I finally told her she was taking the fucking piss

My mother also Janets all ailments and health niggles. If I turn up tomorrow to inform her my leg's going to be amputated (it's not, folks) she'll tell me that actually she had an amputation last year but she didn't want to mention it.

I’ve just realised my DH Manets ... Trump. OMG it drives me bonkers. If I refer to something I saw in a headline, he has read the headline, read the article, looked at a “late night with..” type opinion on it, and parses all the information so I can understand it.

Can you imagine the horror of having Trump explained to you in easy terms, and then having it all analysed?

Now I know it’s a thing I can tell him to stop. Before I just felt grumpy and unreaonable.

I think laughing at Janetting vaginas, whilst sitting in a hospice is fabulous. Because my opinion on it matters of course.

My mother Janets being a single working mother. She did it in the 70s before it became fashionable and it was much, much harder for her than any woman on the planet ever, before or since. Quite why she has never received a damehood for this act of heroism I do not know.

Erm...I own procrastination and have done so for at least 30 years. There was a Procrastinator's New Years party in February, 1987 - I'm still getting round to buying tickets. As to help groups and books - one day... So as you can see - I'm the procrastinating QUEEN!!! (bow down all who behold me)

My sil is the Janet of all illness.

Ill Janet's are particularly fucking annoying.

Otherwise lovely friend of friend has janeted red wine. ALL of them. Talks about them at length. Complete with authentic pronunciation. Janet is from Dagenham.

I have switched to white

On a different forum (not a UK one) there is a poster who owns Iceland, the country not the shop. She is the unquestionable authority on all things Icelandic and she will bring up a link to Iceland, no matter how tenous that link is, in any discussion no matter what the subject is. It's made me irritated of Iceland without ever going there (and I have always wanted to go there).

So many Janets. know someone who Janets teaching. No one has ever done it so well OR had such difficult classes. And THAT is why she can’t manage a full year of teaching. She gives SO much

And so many Janets through history and in literature. I realised that Lady Catherine de Bough in Pride and Prejudice is SO a Janet. I shall never think of her in the same way again.

I got an ad a few minutes ago on the right hand side of the page which exhorted me to "OWN THE CHRISTMAS PARTY!" aided and abetted by Littlewoods.

I have no wish to be the Christmas Party Janet.

Mercedes - yes you are so right about Lady C de B.. which makes no sense at all, as I like to think I know everything about Austen novels. Well DONE

I Worked with Janet who owned grief. She had lost her father a year before which was terribly sad but every conversation had to go back to that and when my SIL mother died suddenly she had a go at me for telling my colleague about it as only she could feel grief.

Dd just watched Peppa pig Janet ice skating. Daddy pig is a pathological Manet. It seems a compulsion with them.

Is Lady Bracknell a Janet?
Vimeo.com/161442676

I crossed the Janet of Mac laptops in our office this week after DH gave me mine as an early Christmas/birthday present last weekend (I, of course, am the Janet of stealth boasts about early Christmas/birthday present giving DHs). No other owner of a Mac living or dead ever knows as much about them as she does and every little discovery I've made (with the help of the Janet of Everything aka Google) about it, she knew before she even got hers, even before Jobs and Wozniak invented them probably.

Dh's stepfather is a Janet of everything. He is kind and well meaning but insufferable.

He does it to me and my sil on every topic he doesn't know about. But not to DH.

my xh Janet's roast dinners, but has conveniently forgotten that is was me who taught him how to cook one all those years ago.

One of these days when the kids have praised xh's dinner just once too often I am going to janet shoving a hot roast potato up his jacksy...

lborgia nice janeting

Oh ringle that's not Janetting but the even more heinous crime of mansplaining. You can tell the difference because a Janet would not differentiate between men and women. All victims are equally inferior to a Janet.

Me and my Sis was pregnant at the same time, I was pregnant first and told her my baby name that i loved but other half was unsure, fast forward around 6 months and she stole MY NAME!!!!!!!! and then because she was having twins she used a variation of MY NAME to name the other,,,,,, I INVENTED THE NAME AND IT WAS MINE!!!!!!!

Always, ALWAYS - copyright a name.

Then no-one else can use it without paying you Vast Sums of Money.

I have just Janeted Copyright Law - eat your hearts out.

Was the person who was convinced they had made up a name mentioned up thread?
She was the Janet of names.

For those who missed the thread there was a poster who was pissed off that another child in her town was called the name that she had invented.
She said the name, it was a name, she hadn’t invented it.

Fast forward 17 years and my DD has never, ever met the second cousin (or whatever they are to each other) whose name she had apparently stolen so why they couldn't both have it is utterly beyond me.

That is because it is Extremely Dangerous for two related people sharing a stolen name ever to meet each other. It will Tear the Fabric of Space and Time Apart, so the universe arranges things so that they never meet. If they ever did, it would the beginning of the Apocalypse.

I totally own coming up with ridiculous theories to explain stupid behaviour.