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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be mad that we will be poorer if i move in with dp than if we live seperately?

88 replies

malificent7 · 05/12/2017 17:10

Been with dp 2 years...still going very well. We want to move in together. If we do i will loose Universal Credit which means that we will be both worse off as he stretches in income to bridge the gap.
Money is tight as it is but it will put strain on us if we really struggle.

Aibu to think it should be cheaper to live with a dp? I thought this governent were all for promoting family cohesion. Im not buying it

OP posts:
LIZS · 05/12/2017 17:14

Surely you would only be paying one rent, bills, council tax etc . Do you, or could you, work?

gunsandbanjos · 05/12/2017 17:17

But you’ll have one set of bills to pay not two?
My husband just moved in and we’re much better off as we’re not running two households.

Original poster
malificent7 · 05/12/2017 17:17

I work.....will bring in a bit but will up hours. Trouble is he lodges very cheaply so i feel bad he will be worse off if he moves in.

OP posts:
Auspiciouspanda · 05/12/2017 17:19

Well if he moves out of very cheap accommodation to more expensive accommodation then that's something you have to expect?

WorraLiberty · 05/12/2017 17:23

Then your situation is more to do with the fact he's lucky to be lodging very cheaply, surely?

LIZS · 05/12/2017 17:23

Surely he doesn't expect you to keep him? Has he saved while living less extravagantly?

LoveYouTimMinchin · 05/12/2017 17:25

He's lucky to lodge very cheaply.

I don't really understand this post, tbh.

gunsandbanjos · 05/12/2017 17:27

I think the point is the OP wants to have their cake and eat it.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 05/12/2017 17:28

What do you mean "it will put a strain on us if we really struggle"? Confused

Is he expecting to come out of this quids in?

Either he wants you to live together (you obviously do) or he doesn't and any 'strain' will be on his part.

Agree with Worra's post also - he's living cheaply, that shouldn't be your expectation also but it seems to be.

AfunaMbatata · 05/12/2017 17:29

BiscuitBrew

WoodliceCollection · 05/12/2017 17:29

You won't both be worse off. Even if you were getting the maximum amount of universal credit, his income (assuming it's full time) is definitely higher than that. So what you mean is, you will be better off, he will be worse off.

Person worse off with dependants than when single and fancy-free shocker. This is the least 'mad inducing' thing ever. If you want to benefit bash you're going to have to try a bit harder.

goose1964 · 05/12/2017 17:29

OK so it may be cheaper to live as a couple but not by as much as the reduction in benefits. Annoys me too

JonSnowsWife · 05/12/2017 17:29

as he stretches in income to bridge the gap.

He'd be stretching his income to bridge the gap regardless, isn't that what couples are meant to do when they commit to moving in together? Confused

AnachronisticCorpse · 05/12/2017 17:32

It’s shit but that’s life. When I moved in with DH I lost all my tax credits and had to give up my job because TCs paid for my childcare which was more than my wage (two preschoolers).

We moved in together, DH supported us all for a while and then we bought a house together and I started a fairly successful business from home. Ultimately, getting off benefits can only be a good thing, having the constant threat of them being reduced or taken away is horrible.

JonSnowsWife · 05/12/2017 17:35

Trouble is he lodges very cheaply so i feel bad he will be worse off if he moves in.

Hmm

Poor him. So is every other sod who has to pay mortgage/rent/lodgings. Confused

You don't seem like you've both thought this moving in together through.

Migraleve · 05/12/2017 17:37

That's reality.

MrsPicklesonSmythe · 05/12/2017 17:45

You can either stay receiving benefits and living as a single person or you combine your incomes, live together and make the best of it like everyone else. He either wants to live together or he doesn't no 'poor him' about it

JonSnowsWife · 05/12/2017 17:49

I was being sarcastic MrsPickle Confused

The OP isn't on benefits. They work.

Migraleve · 05/12/2017 17:52

The OP isn't on benefits. They work.

It says in the OP they are in universal credit Confused

embo1 · 05/12/2017 17:55

What do you mean it should be cheaper to live with a dp? Sponge much? If you can't afford your lifestyle, then move somewhere cheaper and cut back on spending.

RestingGrinchFace · 05/12/2017 17:55

You are lucky that the government is supporting you at all. How entitled can you get?

JonSnowsWife · 05/12/2017 17:57

Yes Migraleve UC for tax credits I presume? Tax credits aren't a benefit. Well technically they are because = state support, but you know, for MN purposes they aren't.

Can you clarify @malificent7 please?

Migraleve · 05/12/2017 17:58

Yes Migraleve UC for tax credits I presume?

WTF? Of course it's bloody benefits Hmm

JonSnowsWife · 05/12/2017 17:59

What do you mean it should be cheaper to live with a dp?

I think they mean it should benefit them to live together. But then I have a DF who pays £100 a week for a fucking box room so the OPs getting little sympathy from me

Babyroobs · 05/12/2017 17:59

How can you be worse off when you will only have one lot of rent/ mortgage to pay, meals can be cooked together etc ?

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