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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hire a deaf nanny?

51 replies

StrangeAndUnusual · 05/12/2017 08:46

She wears hearing aids, and manages well, though she needs people to look at her when they speak, etc. I am deaf myself (more so than her) so it's not at all odd to me (or to my kids, for that matter - who also have very loud voices as a result!).

Another mum said to me yesterday that she thought it was an odd choice, since it's a safety issue - especially walking the children to school & crossing roads etc.

Ironically, this mum lets her 4 and 6 yr olds scoot way ahead of her down the pavement, across driveways etc. And lets them cross the small residential cut de sac next to school without her. While my nanny always has my (same age) kids walking right next to her, and they all do a 'look both ways' routine together before crossing, even though there's rarely a car moving down it.

Personally, I think someone who is deaf but has a built-in road safety routine is much safer with kids than someone who doesn't think about it and just depends on their senses to alert them in the event of danger.

AIBU?

OP posts:
HuskyMcClusky · 05/12/2017 08:47

Well, presumably you walk & cross roads with them, sooo...??

AnnetteCurtains · 05/12/2017 08:48

I agree with you

WorraLiberty · 05/12/2017 08:49

What Husky said.

wowbutter · 05/12/2017 08:49

No, she seems perfectly capable. I imagine you cross roads with the children, and are quite safe.
How rude of that other lady. It is none of her business.
People with disabilities are always passed over for jobs because others assume they can't do it, and it sent fair.
You obviously feel she can do the job. Decision made.

RestingGrinchFace · 05/12/2017 08:51

Not hearing is far less of a safety concern than not caring. Provided that she is extra vigilant to compensate for the situations where here hearing impediment may cause issue I don't see what the problem is.

sotired2 · 05/12/2017 08:53

My dd is deaf and 11 and I have to let her cross roads on her own.

Kids will know from you what the boundaries are.

It will also make your children more understanding of these hidden disabilities.

Ojoj1974 · 05/12/2017 09:06

Her deafness wouldn't councern me. Does she fit with your family, morals and discipline. Do the children bond eith her? Is she caring?
If so she's the one!

Original poster
StrangeAndUnusual · 05/12/2017 09:07

Yes, obviously they cross roads with me too. I am almost blind as well as deaf, so far bigger safety concerns there (and again, I work hard to manage the risks!)

I know all too well how difficult it can be to get a job with a disability. I chose her over other candidates because I felt she was the best candidate, but I was also glad to be giving a job to a fellow disabled person.

OP posts:
Phillipa12 · 05/12/2017 09:08

I find that my deaf ds is far more visually aware than his hearing friends. I would not have a problem hiring a deaf nanny at all.

flimflaminurjams · 05/12/2017 09:16

I think @RestingGrinchFace nailed it there.

Ignore the ignorant mother. As if deaf people are all getting run over every day?? Honestly. Do all blind people walk into lampposts all day long??

nannybeach · 05/12/2017 09:16

No you are not BU, as other posters have said there are plenty of sighted/hearing parents out there, usually too busy on their phones to pay their DC much head.

mindutopia · 05/12/2017 09:18

That seems silly. Presumably your kids are well adjusted to being in the care of someone with a hearing impairment. Actually our nursery teacher (who is the manager and was my dd's keyworker) is hearing impaired. I didn't even realise for about 2 years. She wears a hearing aid, but also needs to really be looking at you to understand what you're saying. Obviously, they weren't going out on trips regularly, but it never even occurred to me to be an issue.

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/12/2017 09:19

Not U at all

My assumption would be that someone who hear would probably be far more aware of the surroundings and what was going on to compensate.

Blind and deaf people all over the world look after kids.

Fully hearing and seeing parents have accidents with or lose their kids in supermarkets etc all the time.

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/12/2017 09:20

Who can't hear

overnightangel · 05/12/2017 09:20

If you like her, she’s a nice person and cares about your childrens’ welfare that’s all you have to worry about, if she was the best candidate then it sounds like you e made a good choice! Hope it works out wellSmile

Pythonesque · 05/12/2017 09:20

Sounds ideal for your family, as there will be more consistency of routine, your children will always need to make themselves clear / stay together when out etc and it will remain normal for them. [I was profoundly deaf as a small child though ok nowadays - severe glue ear - my mother talks of the difficulties of having to chase me if I got away as a toddler as there was no way to call me back ...]

StupidSlimyGit · 05/12/2017 09:21

She was the best candidate that's exactly what should be the only part that is important here. Her disability shouldn't hold her back and I think it's lovely that she's found someone understanding.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 05/12/2017 09:23

Yanbu to hire a nanny who is capable but happens to be deaf.

Yabvvvu to pay any attention to this ignorant woman.

Pugfather · 05/12/2017 09:24

You are right and if she has hearing aids like me she has hearing loss not total deafness.Sheer ignorance from the other mum as hearing loss makes you more aware in my opinion regarding surroundings and safety

soupforbrains · 05/12/2017 09:24

I actually think it's a really great idea to hire a deaf nanny, ignore your friend she doesn't seem to understand. Good Luck.

Frederickvonhefferneffer · 05/12/2017 09:25

Yanbu. Other mother is ignorant.

YellowFlower201 · 05/12/2017 09:27

YANBU! The other mother is rude and ignorant!! Is she implying your kids are unsafe with you? Disgusting!

Aeroflotgirl · 05/12/2017 09:30

Your deaf and look after your kids, what makes you think she can't!

Original poster
StrangeAndUnusual · 05/12/2017 09:45

Aeroflot - I do think she can look after them, that's why I hired her. That's kind of the point of the thread ...

OP posts:
PilarTernera · 05/12/2017 09:46

YANBU because she is the best candidate. As pp say, the other mum who questioned you is ignorant.

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