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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hire a deaf nanny?

51 replies

StrangeAndUnusual · 05/12/2017 08:46

She wears hearing aids, and manages well, though she needs people to look at her when they speak, etc. I am deaf myself (more so than her) so it's not at all odd to me (or to my kids, for that matter - who also have very loud voices as a result!).

Another mum said to me yesterday that she thought it was an odd choice, since it's a safety issue - especially walking the children to school & crossing roads etc.

Ironically, this mum lets her 4 and 6 yr olds scoot way ahead of her down the pavement, across driveways etc. And lets them cross the small residential cut de sac next to school without her. While my nanny always has my (same age) kids walking right next to her, and they all do a 'look both ways' routine together before crossing, even though there's rarely a car moving down it.

Personally, I think someone who is deaf but has a built-in road safety routine is much safer with kids than someone who doesn't think about it and just depends on their senses to alert them in the event of danger.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
StrangeAndUnusual · 05/12/2017 09:49

I don't think the other mum realises I wear hearing aids too, a lot of people don't.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 05/12/2017 09:51

I know all too well how difficult it can be to get a job with a disability. I chose her over other candidates because I felt she was the best candidate, but I was also glad to be giving a job to a fellow disabled person.

Is that what this thread is about?

That would make more sense than asking if YABU to hire a deaf nanny to take care of your kids, when you're also deaf and manage perfectly well to look after them yourself.

You could have just said, 'I'm really happy to give the job to a fellow disabled person, because finding employment can be so difficult'.

Aeroflotgirl · 05/12/2017 09:54

Oh right, I just read the initial op, sorry been up in the night with a poorly ds Smile.

Original poster
StrangeAndUnusual · 05/12/2017 10:00

No problem Aeroflot, hope your DS is better soon.

Worra, not sure why you want to change my thread. Actually, there are a number of things I can't do with my DC due to my combination of disabilities, hence (in part) the nanny. I asked the question I was interested in, which is whether other people agree with my acquaintance that i shouldn't hire a deaf nanny. Glad to see that most (all?) don't.

OP posts:
sashh · 05/12/2017 10:06

You hired the best person for the job, no one else's opinion matters.

WorraLiberty · 05/12/2017 10:06

I can't see why anyone would agree with her Smile

mummyhaschangedhername · 05/12/2017 10:07

I think people with disabilities generally know what they can and cannot do, I am moderately deaf, I have 4 children and manage fine, I think there are a lot of advantages to hiring someone who as similar needs, as in your children are already used to speaking clearly, directly and loudly, which has advantages in this case and also normalises the hearing loss.

Soubriquet · 05/12/2017 10:12

Do it!!

I'm deaf and wouldn't think twice about hiring a deaf nanny.

We adapt and do things our own way

DeadGood · 05/12/2017 10:18

"Not hearing is far less of a safety concern than not caring."

Agree! Go for it OP x

HermionesRightHook · 05/12/2017 10:22

How ridiculous. The only bit of difference with having a Deaf nanny I can think of is she might be able to help them learn a bit of BSL which is only an advantage - if she signs of course.

Gaudeamus · 05/12/2017 10:28

Presumably you took steps to assess her competence and found her satisfactory, so... great!

Original poster
StrangeAndUnusual · 05/12/2017 10:31

No BSL (which I agree would be good for kids to learn) - she is hearing impaired/deaf not Deaf.

OP posts:
Branleuse · 05/12/2017 10:33

Her deafness wouldnt be an issue with me

Lizzie48 · 05/12/2017 10:46

YANBU, not at all. My DD1 (8) is partially deaf, and wears hearing aids. She has good road sense now, as we've taught her what the routine needs to be.

And you obviously cope fine, so you know she can do it too.

kaytee87 · 05/12/2017 10:51

If you think she's the best candidate then go ahead obviously. Excuse my ignorance as I may be completely wrong but would it not help your children's language development to be nannied by someone who isn't deaf?

kaytee87 · 05/12/2017 10:54

The reason I ask is that I knew a girl at school with speech / language problems whose parents were both deaf.

Original poster
StrangeAndUnusual · 05/12/2017 10:56

kay, no, this isn't an issue. You might be mistaking 'deaf' for being 'without language'. It's a surprisingly common misperception.

OP posts:
Original poster
StrangeAndUnusual · 05/12/2017 10:57

X-post kay - thanks for clarification. Were the parents of the child you mention both BSL-users (Sign language users?)

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 05/12/2017 11:21

I'm not sure, I assume they must be. As far as I understood they were both profoundly deaf.

aplaceinthesun · 05/12/2017 11:42

My only concern would be regarding her speech and that the children and her could communicate efficiently. I see now that she is hearing impaired so I assume her speech is ok...didn't know about the deaf/Deaf distinction. YANBU.

Original poster
StrangeAndUnusual · 05/12/2017 12:01

'deaf' with a lower-case 'd' generally means physically deaf (which can be anything from moderate hearing impairment through severe to profound/total deafness). Likely to wear hearing aids and use spoken language to communicate.

'Deaf' with a capital 'D' generally means culturally as well as physically deaf (so Sign language as first/only language, part of a Deaf community, etc.

OP posts:
sashh · 05/12/2017 12:13

I think people with disabilities generally know what they can and cannot do

And people without disabilities may assume things about someone with a disability.

I'm a BSL user, I had a profoundly Deaf friend int he car and we were having a conversation at traffic lights when she asked me about the music. I thought she'd seen the radio was lit up but she could feel the vibration in her seat belt!

'Deaf' with a capital 'D' generally means culturally as well as physically deaf

Just to confuse people further there are some hearing BSL users who would claim to be culturally Deaf.

aplaceinthesun · 06/12/2017 23:28

Hearing people claim to be culturally Deaf because they can use BSL? Am I the only one who is shocked about that?

Allthewaves · 06/12/2017 23:32

You found the best person who fits woth your family

Ifartrainbowsandglitter · 06/12/2017 23:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.