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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Homeless

83 replies

Obloody · 04/12/2017 15:10

Hi, so I was kicked out my in laws with my partner and 6 month old today. Went to the local homelessness place, and they discussed everything tried to put me off saying they could offer me a house on the other side of the country. I went ahead, and they asked of there was anywhere I could stay until Wednesday.. so I said I could stay with my brother (on his sofa) he has a wife and 2 kids in a 2 bedroom. They said this was fine.
What's going to happen when I go in on Wednesday does anyone know? What shall i do/say to make them take me seriously??
Thank you

OP posts:
MoosicalDaisy · 04/12/2017 15:39

Killerfiller You like living in the past do you?

Lovemusic33 · 04/12/2017 15:40

Wednesday could be the day they allocate housing? I’m not sure how they do it but here there is a bidding system for people wanting a house, each week houses are put online to put your name forward but if someone like you are made homeless then they are put forward as an emergency for any suitable houses on the list and made priority.

The fact you have a young baby makes you a priority but as others have said, if there are no houses available they can’t magic one out of thin air. They may offer you something on Wed and wherever it is you will have to take it. Good luck, I hope they house you and things get easier for you.

Nyx1 · 04/12/2017 15:40

OP "We have a little bit of savings- would staying at a hotel rather than my brothers affect anything?"

I don't know the answer to this but it's only a little savings, like your emergency cushion, I would say to hang on to your savings and stay with your brother for 2 nights.

any chance of being reconciled with the ILs?

sinceyouask · 04/12/2017 15:41

The op states they have savings. I don't understand why the state has to provide emergency accommodation. Am I missing something.

Compassion, knowledge of question marks, probably a lot of things.

lazymum99 · 04/12/2017 15:45

contact shelter and NHAS - National Homelessness Advice Service.

I think Killerfiller may have been referring to the baby not yet born.

MorrisZapp · 04/12/2017 15:47

I'm asking what the actual policy is. I'm so very sorry I failed to use the correct punctuation.

Is there currently a policy whereby the government provide emergency accommodation to people who could afford to pay for it themselves?

The op is in a major city and has a car. I'm sure there's a lot more to it but without the background it's unclear what the basis of her claim is.

lazymum99 · 04/12/2017 15:47

If self employed and on a low income you can get Housing Benefit and your savings could be used for a deposit and moving costs.
Council will only give you temp emergency accommodation. They cannot magic up a council house.
You need to look for private rentals.

lazymum99 · 04/12/2017 15:50

MorrisZapp Nothing is free. You pay rent in emergency accommodation.

hamburgers · 04/12/2017 15:52

Nothing to add really but just to say I am really sorry you find yourself in this situation and I hope it all gets sorted soon Flowers Thank God your brother is there for you for the next couple of nights so you're not on the streets. Is there any way to reconcile with PILs until you are sorted for longer-term accommodation?

WildBluebelles · 04/12/2017 15:52

KillerFiller that is super helpful isn't it? Most people are only about 3 pay cheques from homelessness. Nobody is invulnerable to losing their job, becoming sick etc. How about you offer some help and sympathy rather than judging.

OP, I second the recommendation to call Shelter. You should be priority need with a small baby. I really hope something gets sorted.

Ceto · 04/12/2017 15:56

I think Killerfiller may have been referring to the baby not yet born.

Can't be, there is only one baby mentioned in the OP and s/he is 6 months old.

allthatmalarkey · 04/12/2017 15:57

Xtra Not all of The North is the same. As well as rural areas it has some of the most densely populated areas in Europe. Manchester is a quarter the size of London. It has pockets of very very extreme deprivation and pockets of very very expensive housing. What it doesn't have is low population. There are ten boroughs, the City of Manchester one alone is crammed with nearly half a million people. I can well believe housing is short. Good luck OP. And do get advice from Shelter or Citizens Advice if you can.

BoredOnMatLeave · 04/12/2017 15:59

I was also going to suggest this, but not sure on how much you have saved etc.

If self employed and on a low income you can get Housing Benefit and your savings could be used for a deposit and moving costs.

If you can afford that it would be the better option I feel.

Xtrabroken · 04/12/2017 16:01

Allthatmalarkey I know I live there!
What I meant is that the Op said they had offered her the 'other side of the country'

There are places not far out of Manchester where the crisis isn't as bad which would still be commutable for the op.

MorrisZapp · 04/12/2017 16:03

I agree that most people are a few paychecks away from financial trouble, but I don't see how that stretches to homelessness.

I understand that there are people in society who have absolutely no family or friends, however I would guess that the majority of people do have someone who could give them a floor to sleep on or lend them money in the immediate or short term if the alternative was rough sleeping.

TheHungryDonkey · 04/12/2017 16:03

Has the council actually found a duty to rehouse you? They should have said and have put this in writing. This doesn’t make sense it’s all too vague. Having a baby does not automatically mean the council must house you. It will be down to their housing policy. This could mean that you have to fulfil certain criteria like a connection to the area for so many years.

TrinitySquirrel · 04/12/2017 16:05

I find it hard to believe OP you don't have a friend with a spare room to put you up for a few nights. If baby is 6m old you can also go back to work and start earning again. If baby is BF then you need to consider weaning, I think your situation as a whole is more important overall than using that as an excuse, which when faced with being homeless, is just an excuse in comparison. And if your partner isnt making money self employed he needs to go and look for another job.

Xtrabroken · 04/12/2017 16:05

If private is an option we have a friend that lives around 13 miles out of Manchester on a direct bus route and they pay £375 a month for their modern two bed flat.

MohoBoho · 04/12/2017 16:05

Hope this helps, link to citizens Advice Bureau website page on homelessness and local authority obligations.
www.citizensadvice.org.uk/housing/finding-a-place-to-live/finding-accommodation/#h-help-for-homeless-people

TrinitySquirrel · 04/12/2017 16:05

Oh and having a baby does not bump you to the top of the list in a lot of places now. Everyone bids equally.

lazymum99 · 04/12/2017 16:07

You need to make a specific homelessness application and if possible get a letter from your in laws stating they cannot accommodate you any more.
With a 6 month old (got confused before about another pregnancy due to mention of mat leave) you should qualify for emergency housing. But if like London it will be hostel/B&B

WildBluebelles · 04/12/2017 16:08

I find it hard to believe OP you don't have a friend with a spare room to put you up for a few nights.

You may find it hard to believe but that's the reality for millions. Not everyone lives in an ideal middle class world where they have a strong support network of friends and family. Surely if everything was as easy as you make out (e.g. weaning and just get back to work, asking friends for a place to stay), there would be no need at all for homeless accommodation.

lazymum99 · 04/12/2017 16:09

OP says she has lived in Manchester all her life so should qualify for help.
But as I said before - HB and private rental is what the council will expect you to do in the long term.

Xtrabroken · 04/12/2017 16:10

'TrinitySquirrel

I find it hard to believe OP you don't have a friend with a spare room to put you up for a few nights'

Trinity the op has said that she can stay with her brother.
But there are many reasons that someone might not have a friend they can crash with. If your parents are dead and you have no other family...

There's an offshoot Facebook page of Mumsnetters who literally for many reasons have no friends so it's not that hard to believe.

TheHungryDonkey · 04/12/2017 16:10

Plus they will probably want to fully investigate because the old - my family member kicked us out and we’re homeless - as a way to be housed is not fallen for. Not saying this is the case here.

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