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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The absolute hell that is the Work Christmas Party.

57 replies

CarbyDiem · 04/12/2017 08:27

I don’t even have to go. But I have paid for my ticket. I suspect I was asked after a night shift and my resilience and ability to think sensibly was broken.

I am an antisocial bugger at the best of times. I don’t like loud music and I’m too awkward to dance in public. Which means I’ll drink too much and feel rough the next day.
On the other hand I love my colleagues and if I get the alcohol:awkwardness balance right it could be fabulous.

But.

I am feeling fat and my hair needs a cut. And I am 6 inches taller than all of them. Which makes me feel huge all over.

And I have nothing to wear (that fits). I don’t do dresses or heels. And I’ll be expected to put on something fancy which I’ll feel uncomfortable in, it’ll cost a fortune and I’ll donate it to a chazza shop next week.

Wow is me.

OP posts:
Original poster
CarbyDiem · 04/12/2017 08:27

Woe. Obv

OP posts:
Rainatnight · 04/12/2017 08:28

I am one of the most sociable people I know. I'd usually go to the opening of an envelope. And I HATE the office Christmas party. Am on mat leave this year and think not having to go is a huge benefit!

BillywilliamV · 04/12/2017 08:36

I never go, but love hearing about it the next day. Always some juicy gossip.

IceniLacuna · 04/12/2017 08:37

As you say, getting the alcohol/awkwardness balance right is the key. Nb start the ball rolling before you arrive - different ways to achieve this depending on what time of day it starts but make sure you are brushing the edges of tipsy right from the get-go - but make sure you have occasional water/soft drinks to make sure the balance doesn't tip too far.

Zoomaa · 04/12/2017 08:38

I've never been to mine.

kaytee87 · 04/12/2017 08:40

Book a haircut & blow dry the day of and make up if you can afford it. You will feel a bit more confident then.
RI have some lovely tie waist tapered trousers just now, them with a really nice top tucked in and sparkly ballet flats?

alliburton · 04/12/2017 08:41

I avoid all anneccesary contact with so-called work mates and anything related to work.I hate work and always have, it's an accepted evil, therefore why go through all the usual petty back-biting and mindless gossip.I've an understanding with my office... I do my job, now sod off and let me out at 4.30 and don't involve me in projected sales, nor what reality show you watch of an evening.

kaytee87 · 04/12/2017 08:41

There's lots of nice jumpsuits out too.

calzone · 04/12/2017 08:42

Or pretend you are going and get a sick bug!

LunasSpectreSpecs · 04/12/2017 08:44

So don't go.

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 04/12/2017 08:47

Black jeans and a nice top with heels.
I don’t do dresses either and hate being social. Luckily because of the job I do means that my colleagues are spread out throughout the country so I always just claim that the Christmas party is too far away for me to bother going (they do it centrally)

sinceyouask · 04/12/2017 08:49

I cunningly arranged to have an operation in the week of the party (last week) and so had a very good excuse for not going. Last year was excruciating.

highinthesky · 04/12/2017 08:53

If your work party is something you dread, it’s a giveaway that you don’t actually like your colleagues.

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 04/12/2017 08:53

It won't need to cost a fortune. Get something cheap and sparkly or that looks good but doesn't cost a bomb.

Being 6 inches taller than everyone isn't BAD! I feel like a stumpy weirdo next to some of my taller mates!

MsHomeSlice · 04/12/2017 08:54

if you really don't want to go then best thing is to be super super keen, very excited and interested about what everyone is wearing, what everyone has ordered, start gossip about who photocopied their arse last year and make suggestions for "most likely" this year

and then have an attack of the witheringshits 12 hours before party time.

BumWad · 04/12/2017 08:55

Don’t go.

I can’t be arsed with mine either

SkeletalFishtail · 04/12/2017 09:02

Another vote not to go! I've said no to mine - on this week. I said no immediately when I got the invitation. I have a prior engagement and no further details given. I just find them so painful- fine when you're in your twenties and would be going out drinking cocktails every weekend anyway and love to flirt and have fun. But at this stage I am just over all that nonsense.

BitchQueen90 · 04/12/2017 09:04

I'm dreading mine too and I'm an extrovert that loves being social. I just don't like mixing work with personal life - I like to keep things professional. I get on well with my colleagues but we're not mates and I don't really want to go out drinking with them in a social setting. There is a free bar too so someone is bound to get rat arsed.

The80sweregreat · 04/12/2017 09:11

I find clothes hard to find and have never known what suits me, so i can sympathise there - plus i have always been taller than my colleagues and being 2 stone over weight doesnt help! dressy clothes always look terrible on me.
It might be fun, once you get there - sometimes its just the thought of doing these things that put people off. i am the same, not keen then i get there and its all fine, although i havent been to a christmas do in a long time!

Skittlesandbeer · 04/12/2017 09:12

Don’t be so sure that ‘wow’ isn’t you (instead of woe). Sometimes we can build up the overthinking until it bites us in the behind unnecessarily.

Have you done a pros and cons list? Are you sure you couldn’t legitimately look forward to certain chats with some people, or join in on the general positive spirit that other people have at this time of year? Could it help your work relationships for 2018 to go?

Maybe the list-making would convince you that all that stands between you and a decent night out is a hair appointment and a red silk scarf!

If not, then line up your ducks and formulate an air-tight excuse. Do it surgically, and early. Use that time and energy to boost your self-esteem or indulge your introvert self. Might still involve the hair do and the scarf!

maras2 · 04/12/2017 09:18

There are many benefits in being retired.
Number 1 ................ No more work parties for either of us.Xmas Smile

tribpot · 04/12/2017 09:22

I don't drink and like to avoid being in situations with alcohol. So imagine how much fun the office Christmas party is for me. Fortunately dressing up isn't expected (or if it is, I've never noticed) - advantage of an IT firm that's about 90% scruffy millennial developers.

Add to this the fact I hate being out at this time of year. It's so cold and dark, all I want to do is hibernate at home. Last year I booked a taxi for 8:30, hoping I would at least have made it through the main course before making my escape. Alas it was served just as I was leaving, someone else ate it!

It's never dreadful but it's never anything other than a chore either. And something of an endurance test given the prevalence of booze. Merry blardy Christmas.

Whisper23 · 04/12/2017 09:25

If your work party is something you dread, it’s a giveaway that you don’t actually like your colleagues

Well that's not necessarily true. I like my colleagues (most of them anyway) but I'd rather stick pins in my eye than go to a formal xmas do. Some of us just don't enjoy that type of setting. Nothing to do with whether I like my colleagues or not.

MatildaTheCat · 04/12/2017 09:26

I used to go about once every 5years. It was not helped by being almost exclusively female.

As a short arse can I mention that your height is probably the source of much envy?

LightastheBreeze · 04/12/2017 09:27

I wouldn't buy anything specifically for it. Have you got some nice black trousers or jeans and then you could get a nice dressy tunic style top which you could wear lots anyway. If you wear trousers or jeans then comfy shoes/boots should be quite easy.