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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The absolute hell that is the Work Christmas Party.

57 replies

CarbyDiem · 04/12/2017 08:27

I don’t even have to go. But I have paid for my ticket. I suspect I was asked after a night shift and my resilience and ability to think sensibly was broken.

I am an antisocial bugger at the best of times. I don’t like loud music and I’m too awkward to dance in public. Which means I’ll drink too much and feel rough the next day.
On the other hand I love my colleagues and if I get the alcohol:awkwardness balance right it could be fabulous.

But.

I am feeling fat and my hair needs a cut. And I am 6 inches taller than all of them. Which makes me feel huge all over.

And I have nothing to wear (that fits). I don’t do dresses or heels. And I’ll be expected to put on something fancy which I’ll feel uncomfortable in, it’ll cost a fortune and I’ll donate it to a chazza shop next week.

Wow is me.

OP posts:
cocoboots · 04/12/2017 09:28

I cant be arsed going to mine but my colleague who i'm sharing a b+b that night is a real party animal and she can't wait. I'm gona have to put double the effort in and stay out way later than I want because of her! (i love her but I have no patience for crowded bars these days)
My tip is to wear comfy shoes and always take a big coat so you aren't freezing and tottering about with sore feet.

Anatidae · 04/12/2017 09:28

This is easily solved by not going. Works for me every year...

bluetongue · 04/12/2017 09:29

We have more than one party. One is a pub do with drinking until the place shuts and loud music. Dancing expected. Been once, hated it and never went again. The other is at a senior employee’s house and is a laid back lunch with moderate drinking (mostly) and no dancing. I go every year.

justforthisthread101 · 04/12/2017 09:30

I stopped going years ago. Best decision I ever made. And now they've cancelled it altogether as it's too expensive and we're having boozy team lunches instead. That I can do. Brilliant.

LightastheBreeze · 04/12/2017 09:31

I would book a haircut anyway even if you don't go as it will make you feel smarter. I'm tall and don't generally wear dresses and heels for anything, I always wear trousers and flat shoes for events, weddings etc.

TheWhyteRoseShallRiseAgain · 04/12/2017 09:34

This is the main reason I’m self employed! We also pay our 2 staff an extra bonus rather than organise a painful staff do and all of us are grateful for this! (We actually do get on well believe it or not) DH myself and employee 1 are all very antisocial and employee 2 is more social but a bit younger so would rather go out with his mates.

NotEnoughCushions · 04/12/2017 09:36

I usually stay for the meal and a couple of glasses of wine but as soon as DJ Dave and his travelling disco start I'm out of there.

In the past I have either booked a taxi for 9pm and openly said that I need to be home for something or else just head off to the ladies and don't bother coming back to the party.

BearSoFair · 04/12/2017 09:46

Another vote to not go! I work in a (fairly small) shopping centre where most of the shops chip in to have one joint party...so you don't even really know the majority of people there as they work in other stores! I just don't go and am quite open with people that I'm really not a party person.

inlectorecumbit · 04/12/2017 10:06

I went last year- first in a while and very quickly realised why l had been giving them a miss. They are my idea of hell.
I declined the invite this year and booked A/L for next year so l can be "unavailable".

Notamorningperson84 · 04/12/2017 10:09

If you don't want to go don't go. Like you I'm pretty antisocial.

Mine was at the weekend and I really regret it. Spent Saturday afternoon rushing around trying to find an outfit. Felt sort of ok about going once I got something.

The party was mind numbing. Drank too much too quickly. Felt awful yesterday hungover and full of anxiety. Got all the jokes about how pissed I was this morning. Home now after a panic attack.

To be fair I've got other stuff going on but it'd have been fine this morning if I hadn't been. Never again.

Blobby10 · 04/12/2017 10:26

I would get a terrible migraine as I was getting ready if I was in your situation OP.. Im lucky that we dont have a party where I work as I have absolutely no desire to see my work colleagues for even a millisecond outside of the 8 hours a day I already spend with them!

Original poster
CarbyDiem · 04/12/2017 12:17

I’ve just discovered sequinned frocks in Lidl of all places.
This won’t end well.

OP posts:
DaviesMum · 04/12/2017 13:27

I never go to these things. I've spent all morning listening to stories of the party they had here last week, and I'm sick of it - I'm not bitter: I wouldn't miss what they do or the people that go, as I spend enough time with these people and don't need to spend more with them. Nevertheless, for a group of people that were all there, they seem to find the need to remind each other about it and it only happened on Friday.

These things sound tedious and ultimately bore me when I have went, but if it's your thing then why not?

TheLegendOfBeans · 04/12/2017 13:35

^I’ve just discovered sequinned frocks in Lidl of all places.
This won’t end well.^

Sounds like you’re going OP!

But if you don’t fancy it, just don’t go! It’s only in the past couple of years I’ve learned the power of “no” and what we think as committing social hari-kiri usually matters not a jot to the recipient of the “no”.

Back in the day I was THE work social butterfly yet would never go to the Xmas party. I just couldn’t be arsed with buying a dress and forking out for overly dry turkey.

There will be other stuff on with less of a “forced” sense of occasion 😀

Chowmum · 04/12/2017 13:43

I hate work do's. I'm not good in large scale social situations, I don't usually drink (a terrible faux pas in Leeds, I can tell you) and am generally bored and tired by ... about 5 minutes after we've finished eating.
If you really don't want to go, write off the money for the ticket as sunk costs, and just think of the money you will be saving by sitting on the sofa in your jammies with Netflix and a pizza. (other viewing options and takeaway options available), ie dress, drinks, taxis...
If you do want to go, then don't worry about the awkwardness:alcohol thing, it'll work itself out, everyone else will be too busy concentrating on balancing on their heels after 2 bottles of prosecco.
Wine Cake Xmas Grin

Chowmum · 04/12/2017 13:44

Forgot to mention - best way to get out of it without offence - last minute disease of choice GinGinGin

Chowmum · 04/12/2017 13:46

That was supposted to be Xmas GrinXmas GrinXmas Grin

I'm not advocating 3 bottles of gin, but that would probably more than do the trick

TheLegendOfBeans · 04/12/2017 13:48

No definitely go with the three bottles of gin, it’s a solid plan

MissMogwai · 04/12/2017 13:56

YANBU. Don't go if you don't want to. I'm with you, I do actually like my colleagues and my job but I can't be arsed with the do this year.

I've paid for my ticket, but at £5 I'm not arsed about that either. I just can't be bothered with it. I'm off work on the day off the party so easy to swerve it!

I like a night out normally, but I'm just not feeling it this year (had lots of stress and bad times this year, so just want 2017 over with!)

MissMogwai · 04/12/2017 13:56

Excuse typos Blush

phoenix1973 · 04/12/2017 14:02

I don't go. It's money I can spend on much better things.
The food is mass catered microwaved shite, served tepid if you're lucky, stone cold otherwise. In my youth we used to use bullet roasties as ammo and have great food fights. That, along with dancing on the tables until they broke, got us banned from that venue.

They're just shite.

gillybeanz · 04/12/2017 14:17

I'm not going to our christmas party, but it's not one where you'd be missed. There's several of us not going for one reason or another.
I am usually a sociable person with friends, and whilst I'm friendly towards work colleagues and get on well with them, I don't want to socialise with them in my spare time.
I'd rather be home with family or out with friends.

EllieMentry · 04/12/2017 14:20

You don't have to attend if you don't want to – going by the responses on here, it's not unusual to dislike these events.

My colleagues are lovely but I loathe work Christmas dos. So I don't go!

mydogisthebest · 04/12/2017 14:28

Don't go if you don't want to.

In 40 years of working I think I only went to about 6 Christmas do's. Five of them I enjoyed as they were small companies and we were allowed to take our OH's.

The other one was a large company so I didn't know everyone. The seating plan was for people to sit with others they didn't work in the same department as. So I didn't know anyone on my table and I can be extremely shy with a lot of people I don't know. The food was shit. I don't drink so had loads of people commenting about that. Almost everyone else got drunk, people were disappearing off (I found out the next day to have sex somewhere) and then to top it off the senior partner decided we all had to do a party piece! I refused and decided there and then never to go to another do

tigercub50 · 04/12/2017 14:37

I don’t drink & that has a lot to do with decisions about my social life. I’ve been in my new job about a month now & enjoy it, plus my colleagues seem nice, but it sounds like