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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I accidentally didn't pay in a shop today.

136 replies

Whoyagonna · 03/12/2017 19:05

In mitigation (though I think it would count in a court), I'm highly stressed.

So I went through the self scan thing and it kept asking for approval because I was buying paracetamol. I paid no heed, cashier came and scanned them for me. Then I needed a bag, So she had to do that for me too. Last was the machine telling there was something undedected on the belt. I walked out and ignored the machine because it is forever going on at me.

Got to bus-stop, checked for wallet. Eh. I didn't have it. So if I had been caught doing this stressful thing, it's not as if I forgot to pay, (which I did) as I didn't even have the means to pay. They'd have thought it was pure theft!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wallet is here at home. It was only £4, but Jesus I need to recover my senses.

OP posts:
Broken11Girl · 04/12/2017 06:51

Brand and all the vipers following them, do fuck off.
OP is clearly vulnerable, putting the boot in is disgusting.
OP did not break the law, as the offence of theft involves intent.
OP - please get help for your memory issue.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 04/12/2017 06:52

Jesus Christ but you're all a bunch of loonies.

How delightful.

I can only laugh

I doubt you'll be laughing if you do this again and get caught.

Original poster
Whoyagonna · 04/12/2017 06:53

My memory is fine. Otherwise I would have forgotten what happened yesterday.

OP posts:
WitchesHatRim · 04/12/2017 06:54

OP did not break the law, as the offence of theft involves intent.

Let's all go to the shops and steal then say we just forgot our purses then shall we.?

Original poster
Whoyagonna · 04/12/2017 06:56

I'm not bloody vulnerable! I forgot to pay at the machine. End of story. End of crazy whacky out of this world conclusions!

OP posts:
KERALA1 · 04/12/2017 06:59

We have twice walked out of pubs without paying. Both times large chaotic lots of families things. Dh thought I had paid I thought he had. Obviously both times have to race back to pay - annoying and embarrassing

LunarGirl · 04/12/2017 07:03

My mind's not with me at the moment.

Dementia setting in, I think.

It's actually more my memory that's worrying me.

And I had forgotten my wallet. Dementia case 1. Dementia case 2. Forgetting to pay.

I think I wander around in a daze most of the time.

Another thing I do, when cashiers package things up nicely, is just walk off until they say 'eh that's 58 pounds'

That, or early dementia.

Honestly, it's my lack of brain functioning that is worrying me.

You definitely came across as having genuine concerns. I don't think some of the conclusions were very whacky or out of this world.

Snorfig · 04/12/2017 07:10

Just to add a reassuring voice, I don't think OP is a criminal or has dementia, but I've experienced the alarming effects of stress on my memory / presence in the world.
As a trainee solicitor I cycled to the local Co-op but didn't get off my bike and park it. I just cycled in, and cycled round the shop. I couldn't understand the problem when people were shouting at me. I was mortified to look down and see a bike between my legs.
When my eldest started school the change in routine combined with other factors and a stressful job meant I brought home another child's coat the first weekend, completely different colour to my daughter's, and had no recollection of how this could happen. But it sent me into a mad spiral of confusion. Tore the house apart looking for her coat. Became convinced I could remember seeing it in the newel post. Made mistake after mistake at work.
I don't know the answer but OP I feel your pain and perhaps you need a day off to decompress x

Original poster
Whoyagonna · 04/12/2017 07:11

That's just my personality. I walk around in a world of my own most of the time. I'm not a fucking thief, nor am I suffering from dementia. Though I wish I was so I could forget this stupid idiotic thread.

OP posts:
4forksake · 04/12/2017 07:12

"My memory is fine. Otherwise I would have forgotten what happened yesterday"

So why list in all bar about one post that you feel you have a memory/forgetfulness problem/issue then flame people who dare to suggest you might want to seek help for your memory/forgetfulness problem/issue which you now feel you don't have. Get help, don't. Meh! Hmm

4forksake · 04/12/2017 07:12
Biscuit
Original poster
Whoyagonna · 04/12/2017 07:16

Shove your biscuit. I've been this way all my life.

OP posts:
Bumdishcloths · 04/12/2017 07:20

If you've been this way all your life then stop making light of dementia you knob.

formerbabe · 04/12/2017 07:20

Op... honestly, just forget about it. I wouldn't even bother to go back. Put it out your mind.

Oh and I was right about all the 'little miss goody two shoes' on here. Get over yourselves calling the op a thief.

WhyamIBoredathome · 04/12/2017 07:24

My DD "stole" 3 pairs of cufflinks from tkmaxx. I was trying to find socks in OH size and she must have swiped them off the display when I was not looking. Left store, went to put her in car and found them under her bottom! Embarrassing taking them back but had to be done.

LunarGirl · 04/12/2017 07:35

If you've been this way all your life then stop making light of dementia you knob.

Grin Well, quite.

Fine op, you don't think you have a problem. But surely you can understand why some of us read it that way. There are many threads on here seemingly about one thing but actually there's a bigger problem and the op doesn't quite know how to talk about it. But cool, you genuinely just wanted to talk about making a mistake. Don't flame others for being concerned.

LadyFlumpalot · 04/12/2017 07:44

DS (4) deliberately half-inched a hotwheels car from Asda after I wouldn't buy it for him. After I found it when we got home I took it and him straight back. They couldn't have been nicer to both of us and that was after he deliberately took it!

I've wandered out of Lidl with one of the huge bags of potatoes on the heavy items trolley shelf. Went back in that time and was told I'm daft.

Left Tesco's with two bags of chocolate buttons tucked into the pram hood where I'd put them to pay for them then gotten distracted. Just ate them that time.

Left a clothes shop with the outfit I'd paid for and the three discarded outfits I hadn't remembered to put back. Definitely went back and paid for those.

On an interesting note, when I had a particular pushchair it seemed to set the alarms off in Tesco constantly, on the way in and the way out. Only constant was that bloody pushchair.

One time I got stopped and properly searched. Like made to take DS out, empty changing bag, turn out pockets etc.

I asked why the really thorough search and was told that as a young looking lady by myself with a pushchair and a toddler I fitted the profile for a shoplifter, so I guess the poster upthread who said that professionals use babies and prams is correct.

Tl;dr - I'm bloody scatter brained but have never gotten in trouble for owning up and apparently I look like a shoplifter.

Butterfr33 · 04/12/2017 07:50

That's just my personality. I walk around in a world of my own most of the time

But that's not an acceptable excuse, you need to sort it out and get with it. Stop minimising your behaviour by using it as an excuse.

Violletta · 04/12/2017 08:23

have you been to the doctors about your forgetfulness
might be something they can help with

Lizzie48 · 04/12/2017 09:39

I personally would go back and pay. I've done that in the past when I've had a DD in a buggy and they've grabbed a chocolate bar off the shelf and taken it with them. That was very embarrassing! The shop assistants always understood, said it happens a lot.

In more recent times I've nearly forgotten to pay for fuel at our Tesco Express after doing some shopping. I've always remembered in the end, or a shop assistant has asked if I filled up and need to pay.

Where the OP is concerned, I'm struggling to understand how she managed to get on the bus without realising that she didn't have her purse? She would surely have had to open her handbag even if she had a travel card of some sort?

ButchyRestingFace · 04/12/2017 17:52

Shove your biscuit. I've been this way all my life

In that case, it’s surprising that you use self scanners.

Someone who admittedly walks around in a mist would surely be better off using traditional check outs where a human cashier simply won’t allow you to wander foggily off without paying.

Bubblebubblepop · 04/12/2017 18:30

OP- ignore the bossy boots. They're not even goody 2 shoes, because they don't care about you taking paracetamol. All they care about is making you feel shit about yourself, until you break and beg for their forgiveness. Actually maybe just pretend to do that to get them to shut up?

JonSnowsWife · 04/12/2017 18:31

Shove your biscuit

Oh please let that be a new MN phrase 😂

OP I understand. I have a neurological condition which is usually well managed, however jt still means my memory is shot to pieces and I can be incredibly clumsy sometimes. No dementia here eitherBrew

WitchesHatRim · 04/12/2017 18:32

@Bubblebubblepop yep that's exactly it. Might as well close the thread Hmm

Or it could be that posters are actually concerned. This isn't the first time OP has either not paid or nearly not paid due to memory issues.

Bubblebubblepop · 04/12/2017 18:42

You're not concerned about her. If you were you wouldn't be rattling on about the law Hmm