To wonder why I never get chatted up?

[Southerntimesx]

Went on a night out with two friends last night, and my best friend once again was chatted up by a man who's asking her out for a drink today. She seems to get chatted up and 'pulls' on every night we go on.

I, on the other hand, never ever am. Men never introduce themselves and never try to talk to me. I've been single for nearly ten years. I've had FWB situations with existing friends but never have anyone interested on nights out. It doesn't bother me too much but what is the key? How do some women have men flocking to them on every night out while others never get a hello? At risk of sounding arrogant I think I'm relatively good looking so I don't think it's my looks putting men off, but it's definitely something.

I think that's your answer then, Op! Cut out the grade a tool and find someone nice and worthy of you!

My $0.02 worth.

Very few men have the courage to cross the room and initiate conversation with a random women, even more so if she is with a group of friends. The guys who do it regularly think nothing of rejection and see it as a bit of a numbers game. When I was single I usually ended up talking to women while waiting to be served drinks at the bar. On the rare occasions when I did approach someone I had to be reasonably confident that me approaching them would be welcome, and by that I meant at least several prior instances of eye contact and a smile. It also helped if said women outwardly at least, looked friendly, fun and approachable. A lot of men are terrified of being seen as a 'pest' if they completely misjudge the situation so subtly does not always work on them!

Finally, most single blokes have migrated on to online dating as they find the whole 'bar scene' an utterly depressing minefield.

PanGalaticGargleBlaster is 100% correct about most men being terrified of chatting someone up, I know I was. It might not appear that way to most women but bear in mind that you'll mostly get chatted up by those few blokes who are super-confident. I think this effect is called "confirmation bias"???

Going online sounds look a good strategy for you. I wish online dating had been around when I was young & single..... Much more fun than spending time in crap nightclubs pretending to like "Bros".

I can totally understand being terrified of chatting someone up... but they're never terrified to chat my pal up

I'm not bothered enough by being single to OLD - I could not think of anything worse.

Great post2 .... giving away your age a bit!

I never got chatted up in bars. Or randomly. I think I have a resting bitch face.
A male friend of mine says I give off a "don't bother, fuckwit" vibe. That disappoints me tbh because I am a pussycat really, people open up to me all the time, I get life stories and everything. People are almost never rude to me either.

Probably because I've been hibernating over the last few years, feeling very unworthy. I don't put myself out there enough.

That and being a lardarse won't help. IMO.

How's that for a paradox!