Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think nobody is as lazy and pointless as me?

60 replies

MPichu · 03/12/2017 15:47

I work 4 days a week in a "mobile worker" job where I basically have a list of jobs and 7.5 hours to do them in. I start work at 8am and then come home for lunch where I spend around 2 hours just lounging on the sofa. I then go back to work until 4.30pm then get home and spend all night lounging on the sofa. I've stopped wearing my Fitbit as it was barely logging 4000 steps a day and was a constant reminder of how shit I am.

I am a member of an excellent gym in which I've not been to for over a month. It's 5 minutes away from my house. I really have no excuse, I even enjoy the classes but simply can't be arsed to go.

I have a dog who I don't walk. He hates going out in the cold and really protests and that is all the excuse I need not to bother.

This weekend I've done fuck all, literally. Friday I got up at 8am and lounges on the sofa until 11am until my mum got here. I then dragged myself out for lunch with her, took her home, got back and then lounged on the sofa all evening/night.

Saturday I got up at 9am, played on computer games and lounged on the sofa. I didn't even get dressed. Today I got up at 9.30 and have done absolutely nothing all day.

I honestly can't think of anyone as pointless and ridiculous as I am but I can't seem to snap myself out of it. AIBU to think I'm an absolute fucking joke?

OP posts:
MsDoubtingfire · 03/12/2017 15:52

Are you happy or does you’re lifestyle depress you? That’s the key question.

If you could see three changes in your life in 2018 what would they be?

Original poster
MPichu · 03/12/2017 15:55

I'm not happy at all, I'm truly disappointed in myself.

In 2018 the ideal me would be attending 3 classes during the week at the gym as well as 2 over the weekend. I'd be walking the dog twice a day too and actually doing something with my free time (of which I have lots).

OP posts:
MsDoubtingfire · 03/12/2017 15:59

Can you start now? Go to the gym, even if only for 30 mins, come back and you will probably already feel better about things.

Could you sign up for some sort of evening class in 2018? Maybe the discipline of a class would help.

And could you stay out with colleagues at lunchtime instead of coming home? Even just once or twice a week. Human company might cheer you.

Or go crazy and get on Tinder or something like that to really shake things up!

thedevilinablackdress · 03/12/2017 15:59

Start small. Make one change.

SandSnakeofDorne · 03/12/2017 16:00

I think when you’re in a rut of sitting on the sofa, aiming to go to the gym five times a week is probably ambitious. You know you’re not going to achieve it, so you tell yourself there’s no point starting. Set smaller targets, like take your dog round the block three times a week, call a friend once a week, go out for a drink once a week.

There are plenty of people who don’t do as much as you. You work, you see your Mum, you have a dog. You can build on that.

Gruach · 03/12/2017 16:01

How old are you? Do you live alone or ...? Is that your dream job?

Viviennemary · 03/12/2017 16:02

I'm a lot lazier than you. Just set yourself goals one at a time. And when you've done these then move on. Don't say from Monday I'll do 10K steps, go to gym three times a week, walk the dog twice a day. No one small change at a time is the way to go. And think about taking up a hobby you enjoy or attending a class of some sort.

Slartybartfast · 03/12/2017 16:02

Take the dog out,
get out in the fresh air, you will soon warm up.

TDHManchester · 03/12/2017 16:03

A lot of people live fairly humdrum lives which are dominated by working,watching TV or looking after other people,,,it doesnt help that this is freezing heavily urbanised boring Britain..

UserThenLotsOfNumbers · 03/12/2017 16:06

Have you been feeling down lately OP? You sound a bit depressed.

Eolian · 03/12/2017 16:07

It's a vicious circle though, isn't it? The worse you feel about yourself, the less drive and motivation you have. Lots of people have this internal struggle about aspects of their lives and how they could be better people if only they did x, y and z.

My advice fwiw is to stop telling yourself what you should be doing, and stop telling yourself you're rubbish. Stop yourself every time you hear that negative train of thought in your head.

Then, choose to go for a nice walk with your dog, or go to the gym. Once. Not because you think you're crap if you don't. Because you want to and choose to. Don't set yourself a target. Don't say "I am going to go to the gym 3 times a week". Because that makes it feel like a chore. Choose to do it. Then feel pleased that you did. It's that pleased feeling (and the endorphins) that will get you to go again, not the guilt and self-reproach.

LaurieFairyCake · 03/12/2017 16:07

Your problem is you think there's an 'ideal you' - what is the point of that negative script ? Hmm

The ideal you is one who is happy, content, relaxed - what do you need to do to be that?

Maybe you like Netflix and cuddling your dog more? I've had a bath and cuddled my dog all day, it's been bliss

ColonelJackONeil · 03/12/2017 16:08

What would you want to do with your free time? Take a course? Some kind of hobby? How about planning a few weekends away? If you don't have friends who want to go with you maybe something you do as a group?
Even if you aren't the world's most social person you might feel better if you see people and do something. I find that gives me more energy than doing things alone. If you met me you wouldn't say I'm an extrovert but I do like a bit of company and I get more done when I'm with others who also want to do something.

WishIwasanastronaut · 03/12/2017 16:09

Do you know anyone at the gym? If you arrangevto go together, you'll have to go.

Have you had your thyroid checked?

Bluntness100 · 03/12/2017 16:09

Take the dog out, it’s not fair if he’s not exercised. If you can’t do anything for you, please do it for the dog.

Nikephorus · 03/12/2017 16:11

I feel sorry for your dog. I bet it would like to go out more really - get it a coat for when it's really cold.

PersianCatLady · 03/12/2017 16:14

I laid on the sofa quite a lot last week because I felt so I'll and I hated it. Now I feel better I am so glad to be up and about doing things again. If you feel this lazy and unmotivated then perhaps you are getting depressed??

LiveLifeWithPassion · 03/12/2017 16:16

Start taking a vitamin d supplement and just get out for a walk.
How much time do you spend playing computer games? What’s your diet like?
These things can really affect your moods and make you feel low.

Original poster
MPichu · 03/12/2017 16:19

I live with my husband. He doesn't have hobbies either, he pays computer games or watches TV unless he actually needs to go out.

I have a friend at the gym but we constantly cancel on each other.

The last time I took the dog out he refused to walk and I had to drag him through the streets. It was a massive ballache, embarrassing and pointless.

OP posts:
BalloonSlayer · 03/12/2017 16:23

Is it only me who thinks that sounds like quite a nice life?

Do you think you might be depressed? Do you sleep OK?

Ivehadtonamechangeforthis · 03/12/2017 16:24

I am SOOO Jealous!

My weekend was this....

Friday evening....cooked dinner, washed up, tidied up (again!) and then spent until 10pm trying to get 2 year old to go to bed. Flop in to bed myself at 11pm, woken up repeatedly throughout night by baby and 2 year old.

Saturday - Woken up at 5.30am by 2 year old saying 'wake up mummy' repeatedly until I had to get up. Spent all day running around after 2 year old and baby, changing nappies, sorting meals, tidying up tidying up tidying up, cooking dinner, washing up, tidying up, at 9.30pm packing 2 year old and baby in car and taking them for a drive so they go to sleep! Flopping in to bed after falling asleep on sofa.

Sunday - Woken at 6am....and just repeat as above....

I would LOVE your weekend!

But if you're unhappy, at least start by walking your poor dog EVERY day! And you didn't do nothing, you went out for lunch with your mum, that's something. Some people literally do nothing all weekend, just come home on a friday and don't go out again until monday when they go back to work.

FreshStartToday · 03/12/2017 16:25

I am a lot lazier than you too, but I am relatively happy with whom I am. It's winter. We are programmed to hibernate (well, I am at least.)

There was a great piece of research on this week that people who thought that they did more exercise than their friends live longer - even if they do the same or less. They feel more positive about themselves. Ditto with sleep. People who think that they have enough sleep are less tired than people who think that they aren't getting enough sleep, even if they get more sleep than the first group. It's about feeling positive.

Small steps OP. Don't try to tackle everything at once - that is one definition of depression, feeling that everything is wrong. Choose one thing that you would really like to improve/change and start with that. Post it here if you want to, so that you don't go back on it.

Good luck

Original poster
MPichu · 03/12/2017 16:31

I think I probably am a bit depressed. Everything seems a bit pointless at the minute. Work all week but for what? The holiday once a year. I'm still paying off the last one. Everything is a massive game of trying to break even. I know it's the same for everyone but I'm just so disillusioned with it all at the minute and deep down I know I shouldn't be, because I'm bloody lucky with what I do have.

One small change ... I can't even think of one because everything seems so huge.

OP posts:
CremeFresh · 03/12/2017 16:34

This could be me Sad. I quite often don't speak to anyone or do anything from Friday night to Tuesday morning when I go to work.

It is a vicious circle and so hard to break out of.

hattyhighlighter · 03/12/2017 16:35

google micro habits

Swipe left for the next trending thread