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AIBU?

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Original poster

Leaving toddler in car

371 replies

rabbitsdontlayeggs · 03/12/2017 10:38

Please settle this disagreement for me and my DH!

Leaving toddler (20 months) in the car while you go and pay for petrol. Would you do it? I would not (unless I was using pay at the pump, then I wouldn't get her out as I'd be stood right next to the car) but DH says he would and has. I'm horrified that he's left her and have said I really don't want him to do that again, he thinks I am ridiculous and 'it's only for two minutes'.

Who is UR?

OP posts:
DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 03/12/2017 14:00

Yes Puddinchops I get your child is precious to you, but there really aren't many opportunistic child-nappers about.

My children are also extremely precious to me - more than £10k even! - and I think it's safer to not take them out.

frogsoup · 03/12/2017 14:04

A forecourt is a much greater risk of being run over than most other places, there are cars coming from all directions.

It constantly astonishes me how poor people are at judging relative risks. Your 10000 pounds would also be safer in the back of the car than being carried in your arms!!!

Cinnamon12345 · 03/12/2017 14:04

Yes

Puddinchops · 03/12/2017 14:05

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at poster's request.

BakedBeans47 · 03/12/2017 14:10

I don’t even class this as “leaving them”. They are a few metres away, and (certainly in every petrol station I have ever come across) in view at all times. No different in my opinion to, for example, forgetting something in the house once they are strapped in and going back to get it, or jumping out to a cash point or post box. Or maybe people drag their kids out to those too?

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 03/12/2017 14:10

The car could be hit any time your DC is in it. They could be hit crossing the forecourt. Def easier to lock the door and leave them in there as long as you can still see them & they're not distressed about being left.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 03/12/2017 14:11

I always leave mine in the car so long as I can see it, but I also always LOCK the car as I walk away from it. That would get around some of the weird happenings on this thread.

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 03/12/2017 14:12

Why on earth would she get loose from straps?

How many times have you heard of a car crash INSIDE I petrol station Hmm

BakedBeans47 · 03/12/2017 14:16

My concerns are:
Her getting loose from straps
Choking
Kidnapping/car theft
Car getting hit

Don’t give her anything to eat and she won’t choke.
The car could be hit at any time.
She could wriggle out of her straps when you’re hurtling along a motorway.
I would hazard a guess that a petrol station which generally has CCTV is not going to be a prime target for kidnappers/thieves. If you lock your car you’ll minimise the risks

SAMlady · 03/12/2017 14:22

Both Shell and BP have apps to pay via your phone so you never have to go further than the pump.

Sayyouwill · 03/12/2017 14:48

As someone who has been ran over in a petrol stations forecourt before, I would always leave my child locked safely in the car. I park as close to the kiosk as possible and do keep an eye out

Mumsymcmumface · 03/12/2017 14:51

Question for those who wouldn’t leave their dc in the car.

When does it suddenly become ok? What’s the magic number? Or do they still come into the sop with you when they are married and have their own kids?

Is it ok when they are 8 but not 7 and 364 days? I don’t get it.

PizzaPizzaPizza · 03/12/2017 14:58

I pay at pump where I can but otherwise leave the DC in the car. They are 4, 3 and 2, it’s far safer for me to leave them than to get them out on the forecourt.

BeALert · 03/12/2017 15:10

Leaving kids strapped in the car is fine. Especially given you don't live in the States.

Given that nearly every gas station here in the States is pay-at-pump it isn't even an issue.

BeALert · 03/12/2017 15:11

OP if you had twin babies and a toddler would you still lug them all out of the car and across the forecourt?

AllStar14 · 03/12/2017 15:27

I've never taken mine in. I have 3 under 3, it would be so stressful to do so! I've never seen anyone else take their kids in either.

IDefinitelyWould · 03/12/2017 15:47

I never take mine in. My 3yo bolts at he smallest opportunity and my 5yo dithers and dreams and gets distracted. They are both much safer in the car. They are strapped in, there is nothing to eat in there and I can see them. They are on a brightly lit petrol forecourt under CCTV with people all around. There are a very minimal number of people out to do bad things to other people in the world, and a petrol forecourt is not the easiest target for such nefarious wrongdoers.

IceBearRocks · 03/12/2017 16:29

I've always left mine in the car and I have never ever seen a child in a petrol station!

ittakes2 · 03/12/2017 16:47

I never left my 20 month old twins in the car. Tried my best to get petrol when they were at nursery or at night when hubby was home, but if I needed to get petrol with them, did not leave them in the car.

Oblomov17 · 03/12/2017 16:56

This is a MN thing. For those with severe anxiety. I have never taken ds's out if the car, they have never been in a petrol station, I just go in and pay. Don't usually use a pump pay. I know not if anyone else who worries about these things. Only on MN.

MammaTJ · 03/12/2017 17:09

My concerns are:
Her getting loose from straps
Choking
Kidnapping/car theft
Car getting hit

If she cannot get loose already it is unlikely she will choose those few moments you are paying for petrol to suddenly learn how!

Choking, well, my DC have never been allowed to eat in the car. They are at risk of choking if we are in the car driving along, just as much as when the car is parked at a garage. It can take longer to find somewhere safe to pull over than it does to pay for petrol.

Kidnapping/car theft-lock the door and take the keys with you. Hmm

A car smashing into yours. That too is unlikely. That can happen when you are driving around too and would be at a much faster speed. How is you being next to the car while you pay going to prevent that?

Jigglytuff · 03/12/2017 17:38

"Likewise if I go to the supermarket in the car I would always take the pram if I can’t park near the trolley I need they come out the car with me into the pram and then we go get the trolley, back to the car, swap them over to the trolley and pram back in the car. "

Fucking hell. You really need something bigger to worry about.

frogsoup · 03/12/2017 18:01

I do worry that threads like this normalise over-anxiety - you see lots of others saying 'oh yes I do this too' about a particular practice, when actually what you are seeing is an online conglomeration of other people with abnormal levels of anxiety that in wider society are very unusual. In real life, I don't know anyone who would genuinely worry about their child being kidnapped while left for two minutes, within line of sight, in a carseat, inside a locked car, to the extent that it would blind them to the much more actual risks of being run over on the forecourt. Honestly, put like that, can you not see that it's a totally divorced-from-reality level of paranoia? We all have that about particular things, but mostly we manage to let the logical part of our heads retain control. Charades like taking your child into the pram then the trolley then pram back in the car to avoid them being unattended for 30 seconds sounds an exhausting way of living.

littlekellysmum · 03/12/2017 18:21

I will always take my little girl along with me wherever we go and will never leave in a car.

Lules · 03/12/2017 18:27

I read things like this and I don’t know if I’m an unusually lax parent or if MN is unusually anxious. I hope it’s the latter.

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