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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be fed up of people telling me how dangerous......

300 replies

starshaker · 02/12/2017 17:40

riding a motorbike is. I am aware of the dangers and risks. I came off a few weeks ago during a lesson and i was ok because of the gear I wear. Since then all people tell me is how dangerous it is and how selfish I am when I have kids.

If finally found something I love to do and I bought a little 125 to gain experience and confidence before I go to try for my full license again.

I wrote my first car off and was told not to give up and the best thing I could do was get straight back out before the fear took hold. I hurt myself more in the car than I did on the bike

OP posts:
SparkleDink · 03/12/2017 09:49

No life insurance and nobody to look after your kids if the worst happened and you’re a biker... maybe you should have really think about that.

Original poster
starshaker · 03/12/2017 09:54

ThatsNotAKnifeThatsASpoon obviously I have bike and car insurance. Its illegal not to.

Yes obviously it bothers me because who wants to constantly be told they could die? I don't want to give up riding, I love it.

OP posts:
Slartybartfast · 03/12/2017 09:55

You need to find some other way of getting your adrenaline rush for the mental health of your dc

Pacific · 03/12/2017 09:58

Starshaker...Just get out and ride! I'm with you. I've been through all the 'it's dangerous' comments but I'm having too much fun on my motorbike to take any notice. Join some clubs (Curvy Riders is a women only club) and get out there and do it. As someone once said to me 'There are no motorbikes outside mental hospitals'.

Original poster
starshaker · 03/12/2017 09:58

Actually no I dont need to do anything. Other road users need to pay more attention to more vulnerable road users.

OP posts:
Original poster
starshaker · 03/12/2017 10:01

Im a member of curvy riders and im on a awesome facebook group too. I haven't done a ride out with anybody yet though because i dont want to hold them up. I will when I get my full license and get my big bike

OP posts:
Pacific · 03/12/2017 10:06

Starshaker, The curvy's philosophy is support. We often have 125s and learners on our rides and you won't hold anyone up! We ride out for fun and cake and look after one another. Please go out with them, it will increase your confidence and you will meet lots of like minded women. Remember, we all started on a 125 and anyone who says they haven't fallen off is telling lies. Grin

Original poster
starshaker · 03/12/2017 10:10

i think my local one is the clyde valley. Really need to find myself a babysitter lol

OP posts:
Rachie1973 · 03/12/2017 10:13

My Dad was a police motorcyclist for a year. He was knocked off by cars 3 times in that year. Stupid accidents.... a lady mixing her brake and accelerator. A man not seeing/allowing for ice sliding into him at traffic lights. Really ridiculous things, that he couldn't have adjusted his own movements for.

Motorbikes are banned in our house, plain and simple. If the kids want to own one then they must move out first. We help with driving lessons, cars and insurance to offset this hard stance.

I don't think I'd consider anyone commenting about it being dangerous as 'unreasonable', just concerned.

BeyondAssignation · 03/12/2017 10:16

I don't think yabu. You know the risks, you don't need to be told about them every five minutes. I'm glad your head is in a better place now and understand what you mean when you say this somewhat risky activity is still better than the constant risk of suicide Flowers

Good on you to begin sorting life insurance too

TheOriginalMagratGarlik · 03/12/2017 10:19

yesthisisme there was an article about it in a recent IAM magazine (I'm a member of IAM). That's where I got the info from. Will see if I can find it online, but this was a hard copy of the magazine.

exWifebeginsat40 · 03/12/2017 10:25

it is dangerous. i started riding at 17, and only ever came off 3 times. i despatched in London for a year back in the 90s, which was hilariously terrifying. one knee is properly fucked now at the age of 44, and the other one is very very creaky.

i stopped when i became a parent. my kid is 18 next year. besides my arthritis, i have screws in my knee and a plate with 7 screws in my collarbone. 4 knee surgeries in all, 7 so far on the collarbone.

my arthritis is in my neck, hands, ankles, knees and back. all these things considered, it just feels like a risk too far for me (and i was a total adrenaline junkie in my 20s).

DP wanted to get me a Ducati. it killed me to say no! i’ve got an Audi TT quattro instead which is FUN but with a roof and a seatbelt.

you just need to consider the risks, is all. and ride safe.

exWifebeginsat40 · 03/12/2017 10:28

oh. i’ve also lost friends to bike accidents, and have more who have been seriously injured. high risk indeed.

GuntyMcGee · 03/12/2017 10:33

The issue IP is your vulnerability.

Having had family member ride and having lost more than one in motorbike accidents I can see why people are fearful.

And both wore full on biker gear and helmets - neither prevented fatal injuries when it came down to it. Both family members died instantly with significant crush injuries from being flung over the handlebars.

Not wanting to be utterly morbid, but one of my biker relatives has always said he feels invincible on his bike. Please just remember that you're not. You're more vulnerable than everyone else who drives around surrounded by a ton of metal and airbags.

People will only be saying about the danger of bikes because they care and don't want you hurt.

As long as you're taking precautions to ride safely, riding at safe speeds, reading the road ahead and not taking unnecessary risks then that's all you can do. Unfortunately you can't make other people use the road safely and that's where the danger lies for a biker.

TheOriginalMagratGarlik · 03/12/2017 10:34

yesthisisme this is a brief summary of the conclusions of the article. The original that was in the magazine went into much more detail and discussion regarding reasons for the trend (increase of 4% road deaths in 2016 compared to 2015 despite increased safety features in cars, these were accounted for by increased deaths o vulnerable road users) www.iamroadsmart.com/media-and-policy/newsroom/2017/09/28/iam-roadsmart-disappointed-in-increase-in-road-deaths-and-drivers-must-take-responsibility

YesThisIsMe · 03/12/2017 12:08

Oh that makes sense Magrat - you were talking about the 2016 deterioration, which is a disappointing combination of all the many trends, positive and negative. Over the long to medium term however, vulnerable road users are doing a lot better than they were in, say, the 1990s. We have managed to achieve greater safety for car occupants without harming other road users.

TheOriginalMagratGarlik · 03/12/2017 12:15

Since 2011 there has been an effective stagnation of the numbers though, which suggests we have reached a plateau and road deaths are shifting from car occupants to vulnerable road users. There is some interesting psychology as to why this is. It's not simply a one year blip.

BatteredBreadedOrSouthernFried · 03/12/2017 12:16

I’m a bit sceptical about the assertion that a doctor is encouraging someone with suicidal thoughts, who has crashed a car, came off a horse, and most recently a motorbike, had a failed stomach surgery (so ability to manouvre the bike appropriately affected), has 3 dependant children with no-one to care for them in her absence, no life insurance and no will to carry on as they are. Does this GP know all this information? Because really on paper, it’s a very worrying picture. It could come across as though this is a form of self sabotage. Sorry OP. It just looks awful all written down. I would be worried about any friend who came to me with your history and said they were taking up motorcycling.

YesThisIsMe · 03/12/2017 12:44

The stagnation of absolute numbers is against a rising population and rising road use though, so it’s still a steady declining trend. We haven’t had the spectacular recent improvements of a country like Spain, but then we were starting from a lower base with fewer quick wins. Still things that can be done though - increasing use of the laws on mobile phone use will help for example,

Original poster
starshaker · 03/12/2017 12:51

My doctor rides, he gets it. Have you never had a car accident? It was 17 years ago I had it and have had nothing since. The horse riding accident was 8 years ago and the bike off wasn't bad. My ability to manoeuvre the bike is not an issue. I have found something I love doing. Im done with this thread. I have a group of supportive women who understand how it feels to ride. This is the only thing in my life that I do for me.

OP posts:
BatteredBreadedOrSouthernFried · 03/12/2017 13:19

My doctor rides, he gets it

Oh I’m sure he gets the buzz element of it, no doubt. But does he also have suicidal thoughts, with a history of accidents, is a sole carer for three dependant children, with no life insurance or will and recent surgery in his torso (which failed to correct the problem)?

BatteredBreadedOrSouthernFried · 03/12/2017 13:20

Me car accident? No, horse riding accident? No, bike accident? No. I’ve done all 3 btw.

mumisnotmyname · 03/12/2017 13:23

I like the sensation of speed, as a kid I loved very fast horse riding and enjoyed the couple of motorcycle experiences I had. I do neither now as I have decided they aren't safe enough. You know your new hobby is dangerous and therefore you shouldn't be that surprised that others discuss this with you.
We moved for a while to a more dangerous country than the UK, others said they wouldn't make that choice from a safety point of view. Like you we considered the benefits outweighed the risks. We arranged wills, life cover and made plans for who would care for the dc if needed. If you are choosing higher risk activities you need to protect your dc as much as possible. You need to think about alternative carers for your dc as well as ongoing financial support. It should never be needed but it does need to be in place.

Original poster
starshaker · 03/12/2017 13:24

He knows it helps me and obviously he knows my full medical history. He knows about my mental health and everything else

OP posts:
BatteredBreadedOrSouthernFried · 03/12/2017 13:27

Worrying.