To be pissed dd never gets any recognition.

[3nonblondedd78]

So Dd1 is a lovely girl; really kind and helpful, works hard and does well in academic subjects. However, she is quite quiet and unassuming so never really gets noticed.
She is rubbish at sport and drama although she tries her best.
I have just noticed that every year the students who get the most praise points are the sporty ones and those who get the leads on the school plays etc. They are also good at academic subjects too though.
I know it means nothing long term but it would just be nice if she was noticed for once. Even in Primary it was the same.
Aibu

Our school has to be a clever work-around for this. They give Plus Points and Demerits. Obviously those with large amounts of Plus Points get rewarded in one way or another, but so do those with no Demerits. At the end of every term, pupils who have received no Demerits that term are awarded a small batch of Plus Points, plus £1 on their school card, which can be spent in the Canteen, Tuck Shop or Library. They also get one entry into a rolling lottery for a bigger prize. The more Demerit-free terms you have, the more lottery entries you have.

Seems a very positive way of rewarding ordinary, middle-of-the-road, decently behaved pupils.

DD1 was like this at primary school - one of her teachers said to me "To be honest, I never notice if she is there or not." Things started to improve when she was about 12, when she had a teacher that really "got" her, encouraged her out of her comfort zone and built her up.

You are seeing it from your dds pov, but I think you'll find it is the same for all sorts of dc.
Mine is sporty. She also loves a bit of drama. She is a prefect, predicted good grades, etc.,etc. However, her 'praise points' score is never very high. She reckons (and her sister who was similar backs her up) that the dc who are always well behaved, are judged against higher expectations and only the badly behaved kids are ever given praise points. They both look at it for what it is - n unwieldy system imposed upon the whole school which means nothing to 90% of the pupils and is really only there to motivate the unmotivated.
Don' sweat it.

I know exactly what you mean. At DD's school the students now get recognised for effort, not achievement.

DD was always one of those students who was under the radar, then in year 11 she was nominated for a science award and aced her GCSEs.

To be fair the school does remove praise points for bad behavior too.
Incidentally she does go the extra mile. She is always the first to volunteer to help out at open evenings etc but she never seems to get points for it. However the kids who did the speeches got heaps of points.
She has received some praise points for PE as she tries so much harder than the other in her non exam PE group.
She does play a sport outside of school, the school don't offer it, but again is never really recognised in Awards.

Why do you need your child to receive praise for not doing anything particularly praiseworthy? I think being kind, helpful, hardworking and achieving well are praiseworthy.

She should be kind, helpful, hardworking etc because it's the right thing to do, not because she's going to get some sort of brownie points for it.

I hate all these sorts of rewards systems, that undermine intrinsic motivation. Her reward for hard work is that she's learning a lot and hence coming top in her year in important subjects! What better reward could she possibly be getting for her hard work? That is the only reward which actually matters, long term. What can some meaningless points add to that?

Possibly because everyone has to do academic subjects.Sport and drama are extra-curricular so these students are going above and beyond normal expectations.

Sport and drama are exam option subjects.

YANBU it is always the same kids at DS school too and then the one time he does excel, it goes unnoticed ...

Obviously taking part in the school play is extra curricular and playing in matches etc.
However attending extension sessions for academic subjects is alsoom extra curricular.

The thing is that "quietly getting on with her work" is really just what they expect all DC to do - it's not really worthy of any particular praise.
To get praise points you have to do something that's a bit out of the ordinary, or put in exceptional effort.

I don’t want this to sound negative but it’s similar in the workplace (at least it is in my sector, and I get the impression it is elsewhere too). If you’re a strong performer then that’s great and you’re reliable, but won’t put you in the league for promotion, new opportunities or in-year rewards. To get those, you need to be going “above and beyond”, setting yourself apart in some way. So not just offering to help run a conference or chair a meeting, but setting up something new, taking on something which makes you more ‘exposed/visible’ etc.

I read the school discussion here and it sounds really similar. I think it’s just the way of things - not everyone is going to become a CEO or celebrated musician for example. I do believe though, that success or popularity at school doesn’t equate to the same in adulthood, and that with children and young people in particular a lot more can be done during school years to develop confidence and help find their own path and strengths.

I work in primary school. There are loud, confident children that demand more attention. But, we always recognise the quiet, well behaved children that work away quietly. They get excellent reports and appraisals at parent's evening. housepoints mean nothing. Remember this quote, "WORK HARD IN SILENCE, LET YOUR SUCCESS BE YOUR NOISE."

I get what you mean OP, my dd is the same. Absolutely under the radar all the time, never wins Star of the day even though teacher praises 100% effort, and excellent behaviour at parents evening.

Yes academic children are not supposed to be publicly praised in case it demotivates those who are not academic. But this philosophy does not apply to anything else.

Yep Dd3 got 4 house points this week alone. She is the least studious child of the three, has to work on behavior, but is confident and strong willed.
Not received a headteachers Award yet but I expect it don't be long.
Dd2 is another forgotten child.

Teachers and staff have to use gimmicks like star of the day to encourage certain children to behave, take part or whatever. Lucky that your DD doesn't need that candle. Her success will be her star!

One of mine sussed the whole system a few years ago in primary school. He said getting lots of merits or house points was easy: just be naughty, low level disruptive, talk out of turn, be silly in class for a week, then be 'good' the following week. Teachers fall over themselves rewarding the 'change' in behaviour.

It's also why the naughty kids in school get so many rewards and treats. They're not stupid. They've also sussed the system but the head and teachers think we're changing their behaviour. Ha!

We give lots of praise and rewards to those who 'get it right' all of the time.
You must be so proud Beware

EvilTwins, I don’t think op is complaining about children who go the extra mile, but that her child has quiet accomplishments and is overlooked because she doesn’t put herself at the center of attention and doesn’t draw attention to herself, something along those lines (I think).

I don’t think anyone here, including Op, is against children getting recognized for going the extra mile or putting in more work. That’s not what op is saying at all.

Absolutely lash my Dd always tries the hardest extension work but never seems to get rewarded for that.
I remember. Her telling me that when they were in mixed ability groups for her best subject. The teacher, wrongly I think, asked the students which one they thought came top. Loads of suggestions were suggested but no-one picked Dd as she never sings her praises. She was top.

OP, that is frustrating. To me that shows the teacher is not seeing your daughter. She is unaware and is skimming along the surface, and is rewarding the self serving.

OP all that matters is that your DD does her best, she gets good reports, test results that reflect her efforts and that will hopefully mean that she reaches her potential and is successful in work. Why would a sticker change that? Are her teachers not impressed?

I hate all these sorts of rewards systems, that undermine intrinsic motivation. Her reward for hard work is that she's learning a lot and hence coming top in her year in important subjects! What better reward could she possibly be getting for her hard work? That is the only reward which actually matters, long term. What can some meaningless points add to that? Well why the points for sport, isn't the reward for being in the whatever team that you might win and that you get fit. Why for being in a school play, you get the applause so why do you need points as well?