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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Abandoned child

99 replies

Notmycuntingfault · 02/12/2017 14:25

NC for this for obvious reasons.

I live in a rambling, big disjointed house. Think corridors, connecting halls etc. It's odd but I love it.

My nephew dropped by yesterday with his gf and toddler. I haven't seen him for a few years, distance, life and money etc.

Now, I had no warning they were coming and he painted it as they were just in the area. So, I made lunch we chatted and laughed ''twas nice.
Time got on and I said "Stay and go home tomorrow" they accepted and I sorted a big room out for the three of them.

All good so far.

I get up this morning and start making a big breakfast for everyone. They join me and we all eat together.

Afterwards they go off to pack up and I clear the breakfast things and take to kitchen (four big rooms away, this is important) when I finish I go back to main house and see or hear no one. Bit pissed that they left without saying goodbye or thank you but blame wankiness of youth.

I get on with my day and walk to the village and see their car is still in drive, I ring them and am told they went for a walk before leaving.

So I carry on and after chatting at shop etc amble back home.

When I get back I am faced with full on anger from nephew and gf as they had left son with me!
They had apparently shouted before they went for walk. So I had abandoned their son.

He was in their room alone for around an hour.
AIBU for not feeling guilt?
They should've checked it was ok.

He was fine.

OP posts:
dangermouse7 · 02/12/2017 15:13

I mean, like did they leave in a huff? What???

BackforGood · 02/12/2017 15:14

I should imagine their anger was their guilt coming out. People say some strange things when they are trying to justify to themselves it wasn't their fault when they have cocked up badly.

Frederickvonhefferneffer · 02/12/2017 15:14

A Toddler. Usually 2/3

SchadenfreudePersonified · 02/12/2017 15:15

Child is a toddler mission - SO I would guess anywhere between 18m and 3y,

dangermouse7 · 02/12/2017 15:18

Yep they were feeling guilty.

When people are feeling guilty, they get angry and defensive. Seen it happen a LOT.

expatinscotland · 02/12/2017 15:19

'When I get back I am faced with full on anger from nephew and gf as they had left son with me!
They had apparently shouted before they went for walk. So I had abandoned their son.
He was in their room alone for around an hour.
AIBU for not feeling guilt?
They should've checked it was ok.
He was fine.'

Oh, fuck them off! 'Full on anger'. I'd have told them they have a helluva cheek whilst steering them towards the door. 'You didn't double cheek, you bloody chancers. How dare you rave at me after abandoning your kid here and not bothering to see if I even could. Off you go now. Come back when you grow up and apologise. Bye.'

diddl · 02/12/2017 15:22

How very odd of them to not ask properly!

So when you rang them-how did the conversation go?

Pengggwn · 02/12/2017 15:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 02/12/2017 15:23

Stupid arses! Who wanders off after vaguely shouting "we're leaving for a walk" without first CHECKING that you're ok to babysit for them? I wouldn't do that, no one sane would! It's entitled fuckery to start with and stupid wanky fuckery because ^they didn't fucking check you actually heard" to end with.

If anything had happened to their poor toddler, it would have been ENTIRELY their fault for not following basic safety rules and making SURE that someone knew he was being left in the house!

Fuckwits.

Gemini69 · 02/12/2017 15:23

this is the weirdest thing I ever read.. why would they LEAVE a toddler and exclude the toddler from the walk ???

they are NUTS Flowers

Original poster
Notmycuntingfault · 02/12/2017 15:27

Sorry I disappeared, had to calm down! Gin helped.

There are some questions which I will try to answer.
Thank you all, I knew they were being irresponsible arses and I'm about to prove it with the first answer.

  1. Toddler is 17months. First time I've met him. Yep.
  2. They sort of buggered off whilst glaring at me and shouting I should check all rooms before I go out...
  3. Maybe I should put my house to use and create mumsfest. There could be gin tents, anti daily mail tents, CF support tents...

They have since phoned round the family and now no one will visit me ever again..

I'm devo'd

OP posts:
LittleRedWagon1 · 02/12/2017 15:31

This is insane.

Poor kid with CF's for parents!

Original poster
Notmycuntingfault · 02/12/2017 15:31

Nephew is my sis PFB. I should pander to him and pick up after him.

I moved away for many reasons, one being expecting people to be responsible for themselves.

OP posts:
IceCreamIceCream · 02/12/2017 15:34

This sounds like a storyline from Downton Abbey!

FitBitFanClub · 02/12/2017 15:35

Aside from everything else, who on earth thinks that a shouted "we're off for a walk now, see you in a bit" is enough notice to leave a toddler in a relative stranger's care, even if you had heard? And in the absence of any reply from you, they just left anyway????!!!

Incredible. Yet more cheeky fuckers in the world.

Aeroflotgirl · 02/12/2017 15:36

Their child, their responsibility. They should have asked you face to face, not shouted. I would not have been able to hear that, as my ears are blocked. What if you had been in the shower or had the tv on. I would be directing anger back at them, and their carelessness.

RiseToday · 02/12/2017 15:37

What a pair of wasters. Surely when you phoned them, that would have been the scooby so clue that you weren't at home with their child?!

They sound like brainless chumps.

Aeroflotgirl · 02/12/2017 15:38

They are rude CF who I would never host again.

BewareOfDragons · 02/12/2017 15:39

Who leaves their toddler without making sure (a) the people in the house know you've left the toddler, and (b) that it's ok to do so?!?!

They were grossly unreasonable. And irresponsible. They're just taking it out on you out of misplaced anger that should be directed at themselves.

Jojopugh · 02/12/2017 15:40

They seem really responsible! What a pair of wankers!

SchadenfreudePersonified · 02/12/2017 15:41
Unfinishedkitchen · 02/12/2017 15:43

Went for a walk my backside. They buggered off to the village pub for a break from the kid. Massive piss take and to try and make you feel bad?! Never invite them back.

nocoolnamesleft · 02/12/2017 15:44

Hang on, what do they even claim they allegedly shouted? Because if I heard a shouted "We're off out for a walk", I'd assume that all three were going out together. Which would condemn them from their own mouths.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 02/12/2017 15:46

So no one from the family is ever going to visit you again? Well that sounds like a bonus if they're all cheeky fuckers!

Twats.

Spadequeen · 02/12/2017 15:51

I would be telling your family that he left his son not you. Tell them that he is an entitled little prick and until any of his learn any manners they are not welcome. I would also tell them that the word your nephew was looking for was sorry.