To think they are very cheeky? *sensitive subject*

[Afanofchocolate]

I'm fed up of this couple asking for money basically, but due to circumstances I don't feel able to ask other mates if it's just me thinking the couple are CFs.

The couple in question have a severely disabled child. They recently moved to a massive 5 bed detached house but have realised that getting their child upstairs to the bathroom etc is a big struggle, so have started fundraising for a £15k lift to be installed.

5 times I have been asked to donate more money towards it. Fair enough a couple have been raffles etc.
I'm not tight fisted and do want life to be easier for the family, but I find it massively cheeky to put it upon your friends and family to fund adjustments to your home. They own other properties, took a long time deciding on the current house, have very nice cars, one of them earns a lot of money, recent wedding must have cost at least £25k.

How can I say no when asked again without making me look like an awful person?

Lots of people can't afford to donate money to their friends, no matter how sad the friends' situation. Lots of people are literally counting every penny to ensure their own families are fed/housed/warm. "I've already donated" is more than enough of an answer - or just ignoring them.

Bear in mind (if you are feeling guilty) that, actually, the government should be providing adequate care and funding for sick and disabled children, and poor people, and the whole business of 'fund my sick kid' is something that should not be happening in the first place. It's not about this particular family, who may or may not be CFs - it's about a society's duty of care to those who need help.

Why aren't they selling other properties to pay for this themselves?

Helpthetigers, a disabled person moving house, how shocking.

Even if you were a billionaire, you've already donated. You're not obliged to support them. I don't doubt a disabled child costs a lot of money but they will receive financial help off of the government and they clearly aren't going without based on what you've said about their other properties and wedding etc. Tbh they should look to move to a bungalow or adapted property. It's not your responsibility. You're not a bad person for not wanting to donate more. I think they're taking the piss. No matter your financial situation, it's up to you how you spend your money. If they make jokes at you, make a comment about their other properties! Don't let them make you feel this way. Ask them to stop x

I would just say "I donated as much as I could afford the first time you asked. I'm sorry I don't have any more spare money to fund your lift"

If a stairlift was needed then OT, who I'm presuming must be involved, would be providing one. My ds is 10 and following surgery to remove a brain tumour in january has been left with left sided weakness and an unsteady gait which makes him very wobbly on his feet. We are currently waiting for OT to install a second hand rail on the stairs, rails in the bathroom and a hand rail to get up the steps outside the house, they are also going to provide some sort of baby gate for the top of the stairs in case he loses his balance during the night on the landing.

I think I would be cutting contact with them tbh.

.

One of them gives out guilt trips and won't stop making 'jokes' about how tight I am

Make jokes about how rich they clearly are?

On the off chance you’re not a GF say what InvisibleKitten said...

I can't afford to pay towards this. But can I just ask, is there any reason you didn't look at bungalows or houses with downstairs bathrooms when you bought this house? If money is too tight for you to make the adjustments to the home you've bought knowing it's not suitable for your family, could you not sell your other rental property to fund the work? From the outside, it looks like you've made some odd choices and by asking other people for money, you are inviting them to comment on your choices. Don't ask me again."

If you are a GF, just have a think about these shitty threads impact on families with disabled children who actually need help & do need to fundraise.

Why arent you saying something when they make tight jokes?

I still don't understand how people let others get away with this type of behaviour without saying anything.