AIBU to be furious about this article and cancel my Guardian subscription?

[whycantwegoonasthree]

www.theguardian.com/society/2017/nov/30/children-removed-from-family-home-over-parents-open-relationship

The children weren't removed because of their parents 'open relationship', they were removed because the parents were neglectful and didn't safeguard the children. The headline is a deliberate distortion.

This is a dreadful baity headline/article at the expense of the polyamorous community. I expect better from the guardian - to which I pay a f-ing subscription...

AIBU to cancel my Direct Debit?

I don't think you're as happy in this 'poly triad' that includes more than 3 as you are trying to project.

Your partner is the self-proclaimed "love of your life" yet he has children with another woman who he is in a relationship with and you sleep with other people too. Doesn't sound much like love to me.

As your children grow up (and one is already entering secondary school) they are going to find out that this type of relationships is not 'the norm' amongst their peers. If you think that isn't going to fuck with their heads then you're very naive. Your set-up might seem normal to you but I doubt it will be accepted as such by the majority. That leaves your children with the conundrum of being honest about their home life or lying about it.

lela

So that's two first hand experiences from children who have grown up with some of the issues with the OP.
OP, you really should listen to what damage it can cause, emotional one's a biggie too.

Media does the same with gay relationships, particularly the daily mail. It's always"gay" man or couple do this do that, it's never "straight couple put son on microwave"

I literally started a thread three years ago, and this one.

Apart from this one.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2585591-to-request-mumsnet-to-add-a-polyamorous-families-section-under-parenting

and this one

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/2594559-polyamorous-parents-and-families

If either of the posters were describing a poly parenting setup that I technology finished I would be concerned. Their stories sadden me. But one talks about witnessing sexual acts as a child, the other about a mother who shared stories of her sex life with her children in detail.

Neither of those things are happening here. Or ever will.

I'm a firm believer in answering the questions much children ask, and only that, not offering detail or elaboration they didn't ask for or necessarily want. Unless it's genuinely none of their business in which case they get "that's none of your business DDs."

That'd be significantly more than just the two threads then

other about a mother who shared stories of her sex life with her children in detail.

WTF else is it that you're doing, then? You tell your children you all share yourselves around. Your head says you're telling them TIME, of course it doesn't mean anything else like a relationship but as I said before, kids aren't stupid.
It'll mess with their heads even if they don't know yet that it'll mess with their heads.

MrLoveBucket, love comes in all shapes and sizes. This shape and size works brilliantly for me, DP and K.

I don't need to be owned or own another person to feel loved. I don't feel less loved if they also love someone else, or love them less if I love someone else.

Luckily love is not a finite resource.

In fact I'd say it increases by being shared but that makes me sound like a proper hippy.

That's one thread and a continuation of the same fucking thread on a different board at MNHQs suggestion, which if you'd bothered to read even the first post you'd see.

Your deliberate misunderstanding is getting boring though, now so I'm going to bed.

WTF else is it that you're doing, then?

Not that. Pumpkin, as I've repeated clarified and you've repeatedly and deliberately ignored. Can't be arsed with you any more TBH.

OP bearing in mind you've conveniently 'forgotten' the two threads you started about poly relationships last year I have doubts about what you remember telling your children about the details of your relationships.

Frankly I think you are chatting shit.

Goodnight and good luck with your delusions.

Not that. Pumpkin, as I've repeated clarified and you've repeatedly and deliberately ignored. Can't be arsed with you any more TBH.

It's you who is deliberately closing your ears to everyone on the thread and ignoring questions you don't want to look too closely at the answers too.
Not that? That's not an answer, it's a question dodge as you don't like it.

Me Love bucket - you're just rude.

If you are correct about the article title being changed then I agree that it was a bit click-bait'y however the current title is perfectly ok and the article itself isn't sensationalist or negative about people who have non monogamous relationships.

It's just factual - the couple had their kids taken away in part because they chose to have lots of partners. What's wrong with that? I don't get why you are so incensed by that. There is nothing in the article that makes any judgement about poly amourous (? Sp) couples.

It's like a dog owner getting outraged about an article where a child gets bitten by its parents dog.

I understand that you feel judged about how you chose to live but I think you are directing your anger and frustration in the wrong direction.

OP bearing in mind you've conveniently 'forgotten' the two threads you started about poly relationships last year I have doubts about what you remember telling your children about the details of your relationships.
Frankly I think you are chatting shit.Goodnight and good luck with your delusions.

This. You're forgetting stuff you posted in the past, things you've said, and blocked out whole past conversations so there could quite easily be more conversations with more details than "we share each other" to the kids?!

Me Love bucket - you're just rude.

Again, nice dodging.

I'm not sharing gory details of my sex life with my children or allowing them to witness sex acts in their sitting room.

Why is that hard for you grasp?

AND ITS ONE THREAD CONTINUED ON A SECOND BOARD.

I don't have fucking amnesia.

Jesus fuck.

I'm not sharing gory details of my sex life with my children or allowing them to witness sex acts in their sitting room.

You're emotionally involving them in your multiple partners though, and your partners multiple partners.
Maybe you don't give gory details (I really hope not) but you do tell them all about how you all share each other and will they heck as think you only mean about TIME.
You have older primary school/nearing secondary kids? They'll know. You really don't give them much credit.

And I remember the thread very well. I got a lot of stick for not being honest with my children...

And you seem to think I'm too honest.

That's Mumsnet for you in a nutshell.

Me Love bucket - you're just rude

No, just factual.

Neither of those threads was a "continuation" of anything. Neither of them was at 1000 posts and you wouldn't 'continue' a thread in 2016 that was supposedly originally posted 3 years ago.

Chatting shit like I said. Make sure you brush your teeth properly before you go to bed.

Your deliberate misunderstanding is getting boring though, now so I'm going to bed.

Yeah, your refusal to listen to anyone on here and insist you're right to tell children about multiple partners between you all and maybe "sex positively" if they ask is getting kind of boring too.
Then a flounce when you're not getting the responses you want.

FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME. We were talking about sharing time. Specifically. With my seven year old.

My ten year old hasn't asked anything even obliquely referencing sex. Maybe she understands maybe she doesn't but she doesn't appear troubled by it and we're not offering info she hasn't asked for.

She likes DP and K, and their kids very much. Not least because DPs DD has a horse, which she's far more interested in than anything we may or may not do in bed.

But I will concede that 'what to tell friends' is a bit of an issue. We've said that our approach is to be honest with those we're close to, and with whom we have the time and opportunity to answer questions they have.

And that other people don't necessarily need to know the ins and outs, and that some people might think it's weird.

But that doesn't mean they think you're weird DDs. And if you want to say, "yes well my mum is a bit weird" then that's fine.

And if they feel uncomfortable about any conversations they have had then they can talk to me about it and we can work out the best way to approach it.

Their closest friends parents know anyway, in case they came home with questions. And they're fine with it too. (It's just you lot who seem to have a problem with it...)

As it happens it doesn't seem to occur to other children to ask if their mummy's DP has another relationship. And why would it?

But why would you need a ‘frank’ discussion about time?

You said your dc asked your partner if he minded being shared. You said you/he were very ‘frank’ with them. Not ringing true for me I’m afraid, not a subject that needs being ‘frank’ about is it?