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AIBU?

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Original poster

Time out for a one year old? Nursery issue

82 replies

silenceisadistantmemory · 30/11/2017 20:03

Acceptable or not?

I don't think so. Others seem to think this is ok.

I'm bloody fuming.

OP posts:
chocolateisnecessary · 30/11/2017 21:32

They couldn't handle an over excited one year old so they strapped him into a buggy as a punishment?
I'd be furious.

Namechange90 · 30/11/2017 21:43

I think you need to speak to nursery and find out exactly what has happened. Bit pointless asking advice when you don't really have anything to back up your question. X

TheCatIsMyEnemy · 30/11/2017 21:53

Why don't you ask, find out what actually happened and then come back.

Impossible to offer advice on so little detail.

Anditstartsagain · 30/11/2017 22:02

I think if my child care provider told me they had to restrain my 12 month old I would have been demanding to know what he was doing? What else had they tried? Was it as a punishment it because he was in danger of hurting himself or others?

I had a friend who's baby would bang his head when he was annoyed the best thing was to strap him in safely until he calmed down. I also knew a woman who's toddler pushed and hit at nursery they often seperated him away from everyone else if this was the case maybe they thought it was the best thing to do to keep him safe and watch him while dealing with other babies until he calmed down.

Strange you walked away with no info on your baby being restrained.

Imustbemad00 · 30/11/2017 22:07

So the conversation went..
“Hi how was fc today”
“Oh we restrained him in his night due to excitement”
“Ok see you tomorrow”
Hmm

Imustbemad00 · 30/11/2017 22:08

Dc obviously

Imustbemad00 · 30/11/2017 22:08

And in his buggy. Autocorrect

Caulk · 30/11/2017 22:09

It’s hard to know without knowing more about what was going on. Have you just heard this third party from another child?

Lukeandlorelai4Ever · 30/11/2017 22:13

Is this your own child? How have you not got any more info?
No way is it right to put a 12 month old in time out

EmilyChambers79 · 30/11/2017 22:22

Emily, are you implying that I'm making this up?

Touchy.

If you are "bloody fuming" why not ask for more details?

From you've said this is how the conversation is presenting itself.

Nursery: We strapped DS in his buggy

You: why?

Nursery: he was overexcited.

You: Ok. See you next session

4 hours later on Mumsnet...

You: I'm bloody fuming but didn't ask why aibu.

Can you see now why I can't say if you are being unreasonable? You didn't even get the circumstances explained to you so how can anyone say it's unreasonable without knowing.

Can he walk at 13 months? If not he might have been out and needed to go into the pushchair for a rest or he might not have been a stronger walker as the others so was put in the pushchair.

If it's for his own safety then yabu.

If he was playing and getting excited in the room and they removed him and strapped in the buggy for a punishment then no YANBU.

But as you didn't even ask...

Original poster
silenceisadistantmemory · 01/12/2017 06:59

Emily, why are you bothering?

OP posts:
Original poster
silenceisadistantmemory · 01/12/2017 07:03

Probably going to withdraw him. Trust has gone and they're not offering at useful explanation.

Going back to work is shit.

OP posts:
Kentnurse2015 · 01/12/2017 07:05

Emily has put good points across OP. It seems very strange that you didn't question anything further

Psychobabble123 · 01/12/2017 07:07

Emily is absolutely right, why on earth didn't you just ask?! Confused you can't be that "fuming" if you couldn't be bothered to find out what actually happened. Are you always so feeble?!

Sirzy · 01/12/2017 07:09

You need to find out what has happened. You can’t make a proper judgement either way without actually finding out the details. I don’t know why you are getting so angry at people who suggest that.

TheHolidayArmadillo · 01/12/2017 07:11

Your reaction is completely over dramatic.

Talk to them about it and find out what happened.

AJPTaylor · 01/12/2017 07:11

I think lesson learned here is to have a proper chat at the end of the day and make sure issues are resolved before you leave. There may be a completly reasonable explanation.

EmilyChambers79 · 01/12/2017 07:29

Probably going to withdraw him. Trust has gone and they're not offering at useful explanation

They didn't offer a useful explanation because you didn't actually ask. You listened to end of day feedback then left without asking why something happened that left you, as a parent, fuming.

I'm afraid I can't give an enraged, "how dare they" response and report them to Ofsted for failing to meet safeguarding requirements etc because I literally know as much as you, e.g. nothing about what happened.

So what next? You withdraw your child because trust has gone, find a new nursery and withdraw him again because they do something that leaves you fuming (and again you don't ask)

You are your child's voice at this age. He has no one except you to ask the questions as to why he has been "treated" in such a way as a punishment (if that's what what happened)

There is no scenario in this world, where if I felt "bloody fuming" over an incident that concerned my child and his safety and well-being, that I would not question to find out what happened further and question until I was satisfied.

You asked if you were being unreasonable, a handful said no. I'm not the only one who has said they couldn't comment as you don't know what happened. You, by your own admission didn't ask, you then said you wouldn't ask as they would only get defensive so what's the point.

The point is your child and your duty to protect him. There are correct ways to restrain children and they are horrific and forms need to filled out relating to this, which need to be signed by parents and staff. I can't see any situation, and I'm talking as a Nursery Nursery with over 20 years experience and a Nanny, where a 13 month old needs restraining.

I just don't understand why you didn't ask.

You can't get arsey with me. You offered a scenario. I questioned to get more information and you get the hump. Are you always this difficult?

TheCatIsMyEnemy · 01/12/2017 07:31

But they didn't explain because you didn't ask!!!!

I loved going back to work personally but each to their own.

Namechange90 · 01/12/2017 07:58

Well said @EmilyChambers79

Original poster
silenceisadistantmemory · 01/12/2017 08:26

I did ask- they were vague and practically put the phone down.

I have no idea why I'm being attacked here?

OP posts:
TheCatIsMyEnemy · 01/12/2017 08:31

Because you're not giving any information.

Caulk · 01/12/2017 08:32

Was it told to you in person or written in a home-nursery book?

Sirzy · 01/12/2017 08:34

So ask the person who told you about it in person.

If you get no response from them talk to the manager.

Bumdishcloths · 01/12/2017 08:36

Helpful responses as always Hmm

If he was solely overexcited, and they were too lazy to do anything other than strap him in his buggy, then I would reconsider his placement there.

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