To not want to send DD to nursery because her speech is delayed?

[PatterPitter]

DD will be three just before Christmas and so is entitled to free hours at nursery from January. However, her speech is almost completely incomprehensible to anyone besides me and her siblings. Other people can only understand her saying Mummy, yes and no. She can't even say her siblings names. She talks loads at home and I understand 80% of it but it has to be in context so I can work it out.

I know a lot of people will say nursery will work wonders and she'll be speaking in no time but I talk to her all day, we read tons of books, she goes to three toddler groups each week and none of these things has made her speech easier to understand for outsiders. We were at soft play today and she was playing with her siblings and became really upset because a boy kept calling her a baby. He was probably younger than her but couldn't understand her saying that she wasn't a baby and that she's almost three.

She becomes frustrated and angry or cries if her siblings and I can't understand her, so I can't imagine how miserable she would be at nursery if no one could understand her. WIBU to wait until her speech has improved to send her to nursery?

A friend's dd was pretty incomprehensible and under SaLT at 3. She was fine in a playschool setting with staff who were able to tune in to her. By Y1 at school it had all come together and she was fine.

Absolutely send her to nursery. Just make sure it's a good one with staff who know what they're doing. I would ask the SLT for a recommendation of a nursery where she will be properly supported.

My nursery gets 'sent' a lot of SEN children by our city's outreach service as the team there know that we know what we're doing, know we do it well, and know that we are the best place for them so they direct parents to us.

With the possibility of ASD there too, nursery will be able to support you and her through the process.
Playgroups are not the same as nurseries and that kind of behaviour is just not tolerated. Please don't let that hold you back.
Good luck

hilbil21 my son is 2 months younger than yours, our vocab is uh, aahhh and o . he hasn't even signed Momma let alone any cjamce of saying. I know its frustrating and I look at some people and just wonder why us? What I wouldn't give for him to just be able to do X. But I also learnt that could prison doesn't help. A parent willing worry about their child regardless, every bum and cold can seem like the virginity most awful thing because its their child and their life.

OP I'm trying to get my 2.5 yo in precisely because he's none verbal but struggling to get a 121 sorted for a different issue. Is say try it

Probably already been done, but havevyiy had her checked for a tongue tie?

DS's speech was only understood by family and it was nursery who pick up the TT. Made the world of difference once it was sorted.

She will absolutely not be the first 3yo they have dealt with who has this issue.

I think you should try it and see how she gets on - you can always take her out.

DD2 wasn't a very clear speaker - going to nursery made a vast difference as she had to make herself understood.

Speakbtobthe nursery - my DS had one to one care for a while which was funding they applied for through the local authority. It wasn’t speech delay but it may help with getting help from other sources and expanding her group of carers

Locally being in a nursery linked to a school (or the School!) does help with access to SALT. It shouldn’t be the case but it certainly is.

Every school has a SALT attached (ours also has a salt assistant attached who spends even more time there and mainly works with the “borderline” cases). Every child when they enter the nursery has a salt assessment allowing support to be put in place.

Ds is still under SALT at 8 and yesterday told me “x was in school today she came to watch me” he isn’t due review for a few months but because she was in she went to see him anyway just to get a quick update.

Being in nursery/school also (when done well) helps to share the therapy out and they can often do it in a much more subtle way which from what you have said about her not wanting to engage may help.

You need to do what feels right but I wouldn’t discount nursery. If she is only just 3 why not wait until September and then she still gets a full year before school

OP my daughter had a very complex speech disorder which required her to have speech therapy from the age of 2 until 2 weeks ago she is nearly 11! She is bright articulate reads constant,y and socialises well but she couldn’t articulate any words. I wanted to pick up on several things. 1. I was told that she would grow out of it by several well meaning friends/relations but she wouldn’t and didn’t. If I hadn’t fought for the support she had I don’t where we would be. 2. stick with the SLT the work they do (even if it seems like DD is not engaging) is nothing short of a miracle! 3. DO send her to nursery but preferably somewhere where she is going to start mixing with children who she will go to primary school with. Children are very accommodating at this early age and communicate with each other in lots of different ways. A nursery will allow her to start forging relationships with other children now who will get used to her speech as it is and will hopefully give her a little network for when she starts school. My Dd not being able to make friends was my biggest worry but she has developed lots of lovely friendships manyof who she has known since nursery. Time goes so quickly but don’t wait for things to fix themselves hopefully they will but if not it’s important that she is supported and things are in place to make it easier for her.

It's a hard one. On the one hand, I completely understand why you're apprehensive. It's only been the last few months that my 2.5 year old has figured out how to talk. We tried nursery for a couple of months before the summer and although it wasn't an issue, I was worried that only myself and her sister would be the only ones there who knew what she was saying.

On the other hand, as others have said it could definitely help her. I have a close friend whose little one was in the same boat, going to nursery helped him 10 fold with his speech!

Could you try it for a while and see how she gets on? As it's free, you're not going to be at a loss - X

Has the SALT given any indication of why her speech is delayed? What did this initial assessment show? There are many reasons. Other than modelling what other excercises are you do Big on a daily basis?

Our experience of NHS therapy was not great, a private therapist working with nursery and reception staff was what worked for DS 2 and 3.
They didn’t experience any bullying at nursery and their friends could quickly understand them.

Early intervention is so important for speech issues - I would listen to the advice of your SALT and HV.

PinkyDozza put it far better than me. Speech will often not “just sort itself out when they are ready”. Friends, family and even a few posters on here want to make you feel better, but the reality is that they are wrong - for mild speech delay it may work, but not for complex speech disorders.

OP how long ago was the hearing test? You can always go back for another. So many children at this age have a fluctuating loss which doesn't get picked up first time. Also I would recommend pushing aboit Salt. Don't wait if they're supposed to review her but haven't. The squeaky wheel gets the oil. And go speak to the nursery. There's such a broad range of nursery provision. You could hit on one which isvreally good with sen and language and will work with you and other agencies to move her forward or you could get one who do nothing.
I'm a teacher of the deaf and have bitter experience experience of this!

PinkyDozza put it far better than me. Speech will often not “just sort itself out when they are ready”. Friends, family and even a few posters on here want to make you feel better, but the reality is that they are wrong - for mild speech delay it may work, but not for complex speech disorders

This. And early intervention is key.

Nursery staff are trained in SAL issues and will be willing to help her. Don’t let this put you off sending her. It’s surprising how quickly young children learn to understand one another and they don’t usually tease each other at that age.

Nursery staff are trained in SAL issues and will be willing to help her

Don't rely on this. Sadly it is so far from the truth in so many cases. Its lovely when it's the case but it really isn't always.

Interesting problem. I was started at preschool as soon as I turned 3 because of my speech delay - though in my case it was due to severe glue ear. (it meant I had 18 months of preschool in a country and at a time that usually only 1 year was available).

I would have thought that starting part-time nursery would be good by way of slow and gentle preparation towards school - but you want to find the right one and be confident about how they will work with your daughter.

Clearly she is understanding very well from what you describe; and I see you alluded to her hearing being fine. I wonder though, how detailed a hearing assessment she has had. My mother (a remedial teacher) used to work with a number of older children some of whom were found to have high frequency hearing deficits that interfered greatly with their ability to distinguish consonant sounds. Which makes it rather hard to learn to pronounce them correctly, and then to spell words using them!

Once she is 3 another hearing test could perhaps be worth investigating - different methods can be used as children get older - but perhaps discuss this with your audiology department.

The point made above about SALT involvement in school / nursery contexts might be a good one to look into if her review is being so excessively delayed. Not a new problem - after I had my ears drained I had precisely 1 term of speech therapy age 4, then that therapist left and there was no more other than what my mother had learned how to do with me.

My ds was.seeing a SALT when he was at nursery. He went from very quiet to following the nursery workers round telling stories. He's a real chatterbox now. His friend went to nursery and would only snort like a pig until starting school.

I think nursery would do your child good.

mmmm.... I dunno. 3 of my DC were speech delayed& I never saw it as a reason not to send them to preschool if they were otherwise emotionally ready ( I was emotionally ready for them to go!). You're doing much better than us if you & her siblings can understand your DD. We were utterly baffled trying to understand what DC said

"She's tried joining in with others at toddler groups and they've laughed at her, called her a baby and refused to let her play."

That's utterly bizarre to me b/c DC were far from the only speech delayed kids in their peer group. All the way into yr1 there were incomprehensible kids in their peer group. There were kids who didn't speak at all (selective mutism) who didn't get "baby" name-calling.

lljkk, my ds was called a baby, because he was a selective mute. I heard it myself.
Some nice mum suggested her dc to play with my ds, the dc said "No, he is a baby, he can't even speak."
Mum was mortified, I felt sad. But it didn't turn me off sending my ds to the nursery, he was having so much fun, playing beside/along side other children. If he didn't go, he may have had so much more difficulty at starting school.