Swaying the sex

[Orangesandlemons1]

I have a wonderful ds and I am thinking about trying to conceive a second. If I do this baby will definitely by last. I’d be delighted with a baby of either sex and I know it is not a right to have a child. It may not even happen this time I’m older now and people don’t always conceive as easily second time.

I would if I was to be completely honest be thrilled with the idea of a little girl because I already have a boy who is fantastic, so would like one of the other sex to experience having a daughter. I will probably get a flaming for this but if I was to choose I would choose to have a girl this time. Are there any mumsnetters who tried to sway the odds with diet/conception timing to a baby girl, and did you have a girl?

Then I think to myself is it even reasonable to try doing this (even if it’s not very scientifically effective). A healthy baby is all anyone should really be aiming for and I would be equally happy with a another ds. Is it reasonable to try to alter the course of natures sex selection with natural methods? I just can’t shake that nagging feeling a little girl would be lovely.

Jeez. I know mn encourages the 'it is feminine to be pig ignorant about science and maths' but this thread is terrifying.

@tinysparklyshoes oh really? That's interesting. I wonder if it depends on whether standard nutritional needs are being met in both arms then.

Have you seen the "near death experiences are real and Columbus proved the earth wasn't flat" thread as well, specialsubject? Terrifying stuff altogether!

I know mn encourages the 'it is feminine to be pig ignorant about science and maths' but this thread is terrifying

Yep. Eating more meat in the short term might be largely "harmless" (we'll just leave lime juice in sensitive areas right out of this for now) but call me humourless, I find encouragement of mushy-brainedness about obvious nonsense neither harmless nor amusing.

My sister married into a family that had three sons. All three have had only sons, eight in total including her own two. There are now two grandchildren and another on the way - all boys.
Is that coincidence, or genetic?

You could avoid breakfast cereal. That doesn't seem much of a hardship!

www.newscientist.com/article/dn19048-bumpology-choosing-the-sex-of-your-child/

"Stress and food
Recent studies have also hinted that what you eat may influence your chances of conceiving a boy or a girl. One survey of 740 pregnant women found that 56 per cent of women who had a high-energy diet before conception had boys, compared with 46 per cent of women who ate the least. Eating breakfast cereal, in particular, seemed to skew the ratio towards boys."

Did anyone actually read the second link Italiangreyhound posted? www.newscientist.com/article/dn19048-bumpology-choosing-the-sex-of-your-child/ It says there HAVE been studies which may link diet and lifestyle with the gender you conceive:

"Recent studies have also hinted that what you eat may influence your chances of conceiving a boy or a girl. One survey of 740 pregnant women found that 56 per cent of women who had a high-energy diet before conception had boys, compared with 46 per cent of women who ate the least. Eating breakfast cereal, in particular, seemed to skew the ratio towards boys."

"Several other papers have since backed up Mathews’s findings. For example, women who gain weight between their first and second pregnancies seem more prone to having boys the second time around"

"The effect is small: 54 per cent of women in jobs classed as low stress, including the arts, cultural and recreational fields, had sons, compared with 47 per cent of women in high-stress jobs such as manufacturing or construction. But if stress hormones are responsible for skewing the sex ratio, says Ruckstuhl, the mechanism is as yet unknown."

But because there are so many other factors at play, they're not reliable enough to depend on: "None of this is much help for parents desperately hoping for a child of a particular sex, however. This is because although some effects can be seen at the population level, the effects are small. We also don’t know how these different factors interact."

So maybe we shouldn't be so quick to say "IT'S ALL BOLLOCKS AND MAKES NO DIFFERENCE" before we've actually examined the evidence?

Oh, and You do know how sex is decided right? The sperm. The winning little guy is X or Y and boom you have your girl or your boy.

But the egg "chooses" which sperm to let in. (In fact, it "grabs" the sperm, which struggles to get away... I don't know why this makes me laugh so much) discovermagazine.com/1992/jun/theaggressiveegg55

Oops, cross post Italian

Scientific studies don't hint. Just because an article says that studies say something doesn't mean they actually do. Even if they do, there is nothing to say the study is either reliable or valid.

Heaven forbid thank you for posting. I did say further back that to my knowledge it had not been disproven there was no link with diet because it wouldn’t be ethical. You post makes complete sense to me.
It would also be logical not to follow any extreme diet when trying to conceive.
However there is no harm in doing something that will have no impact on health I.e a cup of peppermint tea.
I have also seen something another poster has suggested about a study about breakfast cereal saying cereal consumers are more likely to have boys possibly due to the fortified vitamins/energy in cereal. Avoiding cereal in favour of another balanced breakfast is hardly likely to harm health.
I am well aware that it is a 50% chance or thereabouts of either sex. But it’s not like I am saying I would be dissappointed with another baby boy who in their right minds could be?
It’s just interesting hearing other people’s perspectives on about this and as nothing has been scientifically proved people are free to speculate and express their point of view as they wish.
Just for the record if I have another baby of either sex I will be delighted to be so lucky.
If it is a girl I certainly won’t be saying it must be that peppermint tea and lack of cereal that did it. So Margaret no you won’t see me insisting it was one thing That I did that caused it. That is you making assumptions about me.
A possible future baby girl would be More than likely mathematical probability and nothing more. But it isn’t yet proven there are no other factors at play, people are allowed to speculate and we don’t know every thing about the Human body, so I think it is entirely possible that there are things that may impact sex of a baby for different women that we just don’t yet know about.

Scientific studies don't hint.

Of course they do! That's how scientists get ideas about what MIGHT be happening and follow up with bigger, better, double-blind and peer-reviewed studies...

Thanks swimming lemonade and Italian greyhound for the links

I have 2 boys and was convinced that DS2 was a girl (I have no idea why).
But given that my DH is one of 2 boys, his dad is one of 2 boys and his cousins are 2 boys (and DBIL and DCousin1 have boys), I'm of the firm believe that it's genetic.
I would love a 3rd baby (imagination only, reality probably not...) but I know full well I'd have another boy, because the genetic link seems to be so strong. That being said, I would be overjoyed with 3 boys (or a girl obviously).
I think if there was a mixture of sexes throughout DH's paternal history, I'd be inclined to think a girl might be possible, but there's just a lot of Scottish men.

Of course they do! That's how scientists get ideas about what MIGHT be happening and follow up with bigger, better, double-blind and peer-reviewed studies

No, they may suggest or indicate, they do not hint. Not in the way suggested,

It’s just interesting hearing other people’s perspectives on about this and as nothing has been scientifically proved people are free to speculate and express their point of view as they wish

Youre just determined that its all up in the air and nothing has ever been proven either way, even though you've been told why its all a load of nonsense. Did you even bother to read the posts?

I'm deeply suspicious of this cereal 'survey' (not study, apparently) because again we have a good source on this already - there are places in the world where cereal is the most popular breakfast food and places where it isn't eaten and yet those places have the same sex ratio.

Also, if diet and stress have an impact then there's a much more obvious (and grimmer) mechanism - there's a big difference between conceiving boys and having boys. It's usually thought that there are more girls born in famines not because women are more likely to conceive girls when malnourished, but because male foetuses are more vulnerable to the effects of maternal malnutrition. If dieters or the stressed are more likely to have girls then that could be because a small percentage of that group are so extremely undernourished or stressed that they're more likely to miscarry boys. And that's presumably not a kind of swaying anyone is interested in pursuing.

I would, however, say that - much as I've disagreed with the OP in this thread - this:

As the mother of a baby who was born critically ill and now has a life long health condition, I find these threads sad. I'm also jealous of how secure everyone is in their belief that they will have a healthy baby.

Is unfair and completely uncalled for. She has been clear throughout the thread that she will be grateful for a baby of either sex. As a recurrent miscarrier who is struggling/despairing to have a single child of course I'm jealous of other people who can just assume they'll have a child easily - but that's on me, not them. Most people do have children relatively easily and most people do have healthy babies - it's horrible not being in that group, but it doesn't mean people are wrong to largely assume that that is what will happen to them.

I agree Margaret. Plus its also insulting to those of us who have had non healthy babies and have never assumed anything.

Yes, and I'm not sure that having a sex preference means that you're assuming you'll have a healthy baby, just that you have a preference if you do. On a previous sex preference a woman said that even after multiple rounds of IVF and miscarriages she was desperate for a girl above all else. I was (and still am a bit) astonished by that, but that was her experience. We're all different.

www.amazon.co.uk/Girl-Boy-Your-Chance-Choose/dp/0722511310?tag=mumsnetforum-21

I used the methods in this book, and they worked for me. I had a girl after two boys. May have been chance, but I don't think so.

What makes you think they worked for you and you didn't just happen to have a girl?

That may have been the case, but I just had a feeling...

So you have no reason at all then. Because it was random chance.

That may have been the case, but I just had a feeling...

Gosh, why are we even talking about things like 'scientific evidence' and 'statistical significance*? If people have feelings isn't that enough proof for anyone?!

Yes tiny I have read the posts and the geneticist said it’s not disproven because it would be unethical which is what I already thought.
I know I’m not just about to reveal the latest scientific way to select the sex of your child by eating a bowl of cornflakes or having a peppermint tea.
I do think however we don’t know everything so there may be some possibility there are some factors that affect whether a woman is more likely to have a girl or a boy.

I’m really Sorry to hear about your miscarriages Margaret. And for the poster who had a baby who was ill.

My problems are nothing in comparison. It took me ten months to conceive ds whilst still in my mid 20s now heading for 30. There is nothing wrong that I know of and ten months isn’t a long time but it isn’t immediate either and I don’t think anyone has a right to a child just like that and I know that I may not conceive another at all. They don’t come easily to some people, some find it difficult and for others it must be downright heartbreaking. Everyone’s story is different. I know I’d worry all through a second pregnancy that there would be a problem, I did the first time.

Also ds was a very big baby and pelvic floor problems since mean another baby if I was lucky enough definitely would be my last.

I can’t shake the thought that I would like a girl out of my head. I did say in my original post I didn’t know if it was even acceptable to try natural methods to sway things. But the replies on here show that even if nothing works I’m not the first to have thought this. Simple things that won’t affect health, then I am going to try.
If I conceive either that’s fantastic, if it’s a girl it’s what I dreamed of, if it’s a boy it will be different but after speaking to people who had a preference I believe it will become what I always wanted anyway in a sort of retrospective way. Very few people would look an an existing child and think I wish I’d had girl or vice Versa.
If I don’t conceive at all then I have ds and so thankful for him. He is fantastic.