To not want DC (10) to do holiday transfer in different vehicle to me.

[freshstart24]

Posting quickly as I'm about to spend the evening with some of the people concerned.....

I'm going skiing with friends and family in Feb. SIL is organising. There will be 25 of us in self catered chalet. I have one child DS who will be 10, there are six other kids all aged between 15&18.

SIL wants her her brother (my DH) and I to do a huge grocery shop in a hired van as part of our transfer.

She asked me to send DS on the minibus transfer with all the others without DH or I. DS knows the other adults vaguely, and he knows the kids a bit too. He is quite shy of the other adults, it's a hair raising 90 min transfer followed by a scramble for bags and rooms.

DS is shy of the adults who would be with him. He is in awe of the older kids but they understandably find him boring and too young so they only interact with him minimally.

I initially said I'd send him without me on the transfer but then realised I felt extremely uncomfortable about it and have asked that either he joins us at the supermarket, or that I or DH go with him on the bus.

I'm already feeling unpopular, difficult and uncomfortable after making this request. I'm now worried I'm being PFB about it all.

DH is not DS' dad. Probably not relevant but didn't want to drip feed.

AIBU?

Does the supermarket do click and collect?

And I'm prepared to bet my mortgage that the women will end up doing most of the grunt work

Nap I'm not sure if the supermarket do click and collect. I don't think that online grocery shopping is as popular in France as in the U.K. but I may be wrong.

I am attempting not to get too involved in the planning. If it were me I'd use the local supermarket and keeps meals extremely sensible. However, for lots of reasons I am leaving the planning to SIL, as such it seems unreasonable of me to interfere or criticise her choice of approach.

I hope I'm wrong and it all turns out nicely. Highly likely as I'm the only one at all worried, and they are all excited and relaxed compared to grumpy me!

Oh Hissy surely it makes sense to split the jobs up amongst the adults, rather than one person, oh yes it's a woman, doing oh yes everything

Not because it’s a woman, it’s because something smells of cherry picking and motive

I think the idea of everyone get to the chalet, then take the bus with a handful of adults to represent the families back To the supermarket is by far the best idea

It wouldn’t be the first time a woman gets utterly stitched up by another...

Use this:
courses-en-ligne.carrefour.fr/prehome

Surely it would be easier for you or dh to go on the transfer with ds than drag a 10 year old round a supermarket at night time?
Though tbh unless the adults are actually unpleasant (in which case I'm not sure why you'd repeatedly holiday with them) then he could just take a book and would likely sleep for most of the 90 mins at that hour.

What resort are you going to?

Are you taking a van to do a mammoth shop for all these people?

If it were me I would suggest DH does the shop with an adult from another family (so that your "side" doesn't get the blame when something is forgotten/not available.)

I would also want that shop to include disposable plates and cutlery or you'll spend most of the trip dealing with dirty crockery.

No one is going to want to do a large shop after a 3:30 am start. Your dad will most likely be tired and grumpy and need a bit of looking after

If I were you, I’d say that as she’s planned the menus etc, she’s best off doing the shop

The first problem I foresee is that some items on the shopping list will be unobtainable, and as the shopper isn't the cook, they will have no idea what to buy instead. (Maybe not, but that's what would happen if I were doing the shopping.)

I think those saying drop everyone at the chalet and then go back to the supermarket have never been skiing. Ski resorts are in the middle of nowhere high up a mountain hence going to the supermarket en route. The big supermarket will likely be most of the 90 minute transfer away from their accommodation.

Make sure if you are given the cash in advance that it is in euros!

Lots of supermarkets do click and collect shopping now (I'm in France, and a ski area at that). PM me if you want me to check out if the supermarket in question does it for you. I don't know what time you're arriving, but don't forget that lots of supermarkets don't open late.

Back to the question, no I don't think you're U. Just ignore any griping and concentrate on having a good time as a family.

However, for lots of reasons I am leaving the planning to SIL, as such it seems unreasonable of me to interfere or criticise her choice of approach.

OP, it's not unreasonable to question your SiL's plans when you are a big part of their execution.

I hope I'm wrong and it all turns out nicely. Highly likely as I'm the only one at all worried, and they are all excited and relaxed compared to grumpy me!

I'd be concerned that if the others are more relaxed, they will leave you to deal any problems as they won't care. Or will pretend they don't care as they know you will deal with whatever arises.

French supermarkets have in fact done Click and Collect for a lot longer than the UK and often will only do that rather than home delivery. The service is called Drive - AuchanDrive, Carrefour Drive, Intermarche Drive etc.