For those who pierce their baby's ears...

[Username7654321]

Would you see it as okay to pierce their nose? Eyebrow? Tongue? Why is it okay to stab a needle through the ear lobe, when presumably most people would be horrified by any other piercing on a baby?!

So what if I decide to pinch my baby because I just feel like it, and I like the way a bruise looks?! It only hurts "momentarily" so surely it's ok??

When did pierced ears become a female norm in the UK? I've read that in the 50s and certainly earlier, only the Royal Family and maybe aristocracy did, so as not to lose diamond earrings, whereas everyone else had screw or clip-on ones. I would guess people who now pierce babies ears wouldn't have in past decades if earrings were too expensive.

Morphene I agree totally.

A child's body belongs to the child alone. Vaccinnations are carried out in their "best interest" by most rational parents.

Im Spanish and As someone has said before in Spain ie nowadays you get them pierced before you’ve even left the hospital.

Out of my friends only 1 nowadays wishes she didn’t have them , the rest of us normally wear earrings.

I can't get myself interested in someone else's ethical line. why do we intervene on behalf of children at all then?

We aren't that far in time from the situation where children were considered the economic property of their parents. In many places in the world this is still the case. Parents have the right to send their children to work etc.

Should we in general care about other people's ethical lines? I think when it comes to children we should care.

Pengggwn

Well actually you're right, pinching probably hurts less.

My toddler threw down last week because I said she couldn’t get her nose pierced like mummy

How many ear piercings would those of you who defend it deem inappropriate then? 1? 2? 5? What about the tragus? Or the helix? An industrial piercing perhaps?

peng I'd gag at the sight of a baby in make up, but that is non-permanent. So that would be me being plain judgey. But piercing is a permanent body modification which is a whole different deal.

I wasn't comparing it to FGM, I was pointing out that using the argument of "it's been done to boys and girls for millenia" isn't a great argument for it.
But you were

I don't get the 'why start a thread about it?' brigade.

Starting a thread about it, is the essence of Mumsnet.

It's very sanctimonious on here sometimes. No doubt someone will come along and say the OP is betraying the sisterhood next

Anyway, back to the question. I wouldn't do it, it looks incredibly tacky and I wouldn't inflict pain on a baby for something so silly. If I lie down with studs in my ears, it's really uncomfortable - I assume it would be the same for a baby.

I'd gag at the sight of a baby in make up, but that is non-permanent

And not painful

I'd say it is always harmful and ethically wrong to cosmetically alter someone else's body without permission.

I'm inclined to think most people would feel violated if they woke up and discovered an additional piercing.

The fact that a baby cannot process this violation at the time makes no difference to whether they should be protected from it.....or all sorts of things would be fine to do to babies that I can't even bring myself to type.

Pengggwn

Okay so as I asked before - what about piercings all the way up the ear? The tragus or other types? Is one okay but 2 not? And if so then why?

It is okay to do some things without consent because it looks pretty.

It’s not ok to modify another’s body to conform to your personal standards of beauty.

How many people - seriously - do you think don't understand that they can say yes or no to sex, or that it's not okay for their partner to hit them, because their parents pierced their ears when they were 1? I'm going to make a guess at zero.

Where do you think the more serious actions stem from? They don’t come from nothing, it is a lifetime of conditioning that you are only worth what other people tell you that you are. It begins with ‘pierce your ears to look prettier’ and society then builds on that for your entire life - your self worth is only in how you present yourself, your body is only for others to enjoy. It’s not that difficult to see the social impact these little and apparently unharmful actions have.

I'm pretty sure no one thinks FGM is in the same ball park...but they do stem from the same underlying assumption. That adults have the right to modify children's bodies in line with their religious/cultural/aesthetic principles.

I think you either think parents have that right or you don't.

Yup agree with Pengggwn.

Also OP, the F in FGM stands for Female. You're massively undermining the life changing, life threatening effects of FGM by making such light comparisons to procedures that have zero lasting effects.

If a woman posted that her partner walked up to her and punched holes in her earlobes without warning, what do you think the reaction on MN would be? I doubt many people would say, "But it won't hurt for long. Why are you getting so worked up over nothing?"

I'm sure people will argue that that's different, because the relationship is different and parents make decisions for their children all the time. But this isn't a decision about what's best for the child - it's about the parents treating their baby as a fashion accessory rather than a person. As another poster pointed out, babies spend a lot of time lying down - a lot of people find it uncomfortable to lie down while wearing earrings.

No, it's not the end of the world - but then, it wouldn't be the end of the world if a man pierced his partner's ears without her permission, either. That doesn't mean it's okay.

If the child can't choose, and it's a permanent body modification, you shouldn't do it. Plenty of time to ask when they're older.

Just my 2 cents.