Page 6 | For those who pierce their baby's ears...

Username7654321 · 2017-11-29T16:47:48+00:00

Would you see it as okay to pierce their nose? Eyebrow? Tongue? Why is it okay to stab a needle through the ear lobe, when presumably most people would be horrified by any other piercing on a baby?!

LazySusan11 · 29/11/2017 18:24

I agree with Morphene plus imo it looks rather tacky.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 29/11/2017 18:27

Some people like earrings on babies. Some people don't care either way. And some love the feeling of righteous indignation that they get when they see a child with pierced ears. They just love judging

And then, of course, the large group of people that you didn't mention, many of whom have posted on this thread - the ones who don't give a shit what it looks like, but think there is a genuine issue about consent/choice.

coddiwomple · 29/11/2017 18:28

Because it's a cultural norm

Yes, let's accept "cultural norm" to justify anything we feel like. Who's starting the list? It's 2017 in Britain. Aren't we passed playing the "cultural card" to justify anything like this?

YoloSwaggins · 29/11/2017 18:29

But then, what about circumcisions on Jewish baby boys?

YoloSwaggins · 29/11/2017 18:31

Yes, let's accept "cultural norm" to justify anything we feel like. Who's starting the list? It's 2017 in Britain. Aren't we passed playing the "cultural card" to justify anything like this?

It's a tiny hole in your ear which means you can wear nice earrings, does no harm and will heal if you decide to take it out. It's not foot-binding!

And it's also none of your business what other parents decide for their kids.

Rebeccaslicker · 29/11/2017 18:31

I was fairly traumatised by my ear piercing - I was a wimp so didn't have it done until I was 17! Left ear went fine but she did something wrong with the right and it hurt and there was enough blood to make me go all woozy. Even now, many many years later, it feels as if the hole isn't quite true - i have to wiggle a lot to get earrings in and out of it and I get a swollen lobe if I wear an earring in that ear for more than about 10 hours.

Hardly scarred for life but i still wouldn't do it to my child until she's old enough to choose.

Rebeccaslicker · 29/11/2017 18:31

It's not just Jewish parents who circumcise

MrMeSeeks · 29/11/2017 18:32

If I lie down with studs in my ears, it's really uncomfortable - I assume it would be the same for a baby.
Really? Possibly not for everyone though....

I wouldn't choose to do it, but it's certainly not akin to fgm.

Strummerville · 29/11/2017 18:34

No-one has the right to pin me down and pierce me against my will. Does a helpless baby not deserve the same right? When does the right kick in - age 2? 5? Can I take my 12yo DD and hold her down and get her ears pierced without her consent?

Fuck's sake. People queuing up to try and justify the unjustifiable.

I can't believe this crap is even legal. Same goes for non-medically-indicated circumcision.

BabyPigeon83 · 29/11/2017 18:35

I had my ears pierced as a baby because it was the done thing in my country. I don't remember it and it never bothered me. My first pair of earrings were gold hooped earrings, with a very thin delicate hoop, so not studs. They were a gift from my godparents and I still have and treasure them today.
Personally, I am happy that It was done then because I am too squeamish to have them done now. I have no other piercings.
When I look at my baby pictures, tacky is not a word that comes to mind. :(

Original poster

Username7654321 · 29/11/2017 18:36

Strummerville - very well said! I too would be interested to hear people's opinions on what age they deem it inappropriate to hold their child down and pierce them??

OP posts:

00100001 · 29/11/2017 18:39

2/10

Jojopugh · 29/11/2017 18:40

My daughter had her pierced when she was 6. She new that it would hurt and could get infected before hand if they wasn't looked after properly. She cried for 30 seconds at the most then saw how they looked and loved them.
They healed up as she started school just before the 6 weeks healed period and I had to take them out for swimming. When she got home I tried to get them back through and she went mad!
She isn't bothered about having them re done but I have told her that if she does it will be when she is older now.
When my youngest daughter is 6 I will do the same with her is she wants hers doing too.

Personal choice I think on this one!

FoolandFitz · 29/11/2017 18:41

In some cultures, boys as well as girls have their ears pierced and it's not a "make them look pretty thing" but to give them a small imperfection to ward off (for want of a better phrase although I dislike it ) the "evil eye". My dad has pierced ears. My mum has a pierced nose also. I have neither. What does that tell you?

coddiwomple · 29/11/2017 18:41

it's also none of your business what other parents decide for their kids.

but somehow, it is. Appropriate car seats, corporal punishments.. it's all our business. Again, would it be acceptable to impose it on people going to court, or on workers? Would it be acceptable on any adult?

YoloSwaggins · 29/11/2017 18:42

@BabyPigeon83, same.

You can hardly compare a (reversible) procedure that means you can wear earrings, which most girls do when they have the choice ANYWAY, to FGM which obviously nobody would choose because it has no benefits.

YoloSwaggins · 29/11/2017 18:43

but somehow, it is.

Actually, if they're not breaking the law or committing a reportable offence, it's not.

Iprefercoffeetotea · 29/11/2017 18:44

I think it's an odd practice and I can't really understand why you would inflict pain on a baby/small child without good reason. But then I don't have my ears pierced.

I do think you should wait until the kids ask for it themselves, and then you might want them to wait until they to a certain age if they say ask when they're 6. My mum said I had to be 16 and by the time I got to 16 I'd decided it would hurt too much and I couldn't be bothered with the aftercare.

DH would quite like me to have them done so he has new ideas for presents at Christmas etc but it's not happening :)

Pengggwn · 29/11/2017 18:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 29/11/2017 18:49

No-one has the right to pin me down and pierce me against my will. Does a helpless baby not deserve the same right? When does the right kick in - age 2? 5? Can I take my 12yo DD and hold her down and get her ears pierced without her consent?

Agree.

The diversity of opinions on this make it a valid discussion.

And it's also none of your business what other parents decide for their kids

Generally, yes, of course; but I found this sentence very slightly chilling actually, purely because sometimes, it's very, very necessary for other people to question 'what parents decide for their kids.'

DioneTheDiabolist · 29/11/2017 18:49

I've never heard anyone complain that they didn't consent to having their ears pierced as a baby SheGotBetteDavisEyes. Do you know people who have issues because of this?

YoloSwaggins · 29/11/2017 18:53

I've never heard anyone complain that they didn't consent to having their ears pierced as a baby SheGotBetteDavisEyes. Do you know people who have issues because of this?

Neither have I.

Generally, yes, of course; but I found this sentence very slightly chilling actually, purely because sometimes, it's very, very necessary for other people to question 'what parents decide for their kids.'

If parents are abusing their child in some way, then yes it is your business and you should call SS or police. However if the child is being raised as a vegan, or homeschooled, or their parents are Catholic, or they have their ears pierced, or anything else that is a lifestyle choice that's the decision of the parents - then it's not your business.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 29/11/2017 18:54

I've never heard anyone complain that they didn't consent to having their ears pierced as a baby SheGotBetteDavisEyes. Do you know people who have issues because of this?

No. Whilst I can see what you're trying to do, that isn't relevant.

Do we simply ignore issues of consent and ethics because we don't know someone personally who has been affected?

It's also a very reductive approach to an important point.

Original poster

Username7654321 · 29/11/2017 18:55

Pengggwn sighhhhh....

Well I imagine your daughter needs help to bathe or dress if you're helping her do it. To not do so would constitute neglect (stating the obvious).

Not piercing your child's ears is not neglect (again, stating the obvious).

OP posts:

Albertschair · 29/11/2017 18:59

using the analogy of a partner coming up to a woman and piercing her with no warning doesn't follow.

I choose my child's clothes, food, hair cut, when to brush her teeth, what activities she does, who her friends are.

If my partner did any of that to me there would be outcry.

A baby is an extension of the parents initially. We see this in the way we treat their bodily fluids. If I cut my finger I'll suck it. If my daughter cuts herself I'll kiss it better. I physically sucked the snot out of her nose when she was small and struggling to feed from congestion. I'm not going anywhere near anyone else's snot or blood. My own. And my daughter's. As she is growing up, I'm getting the normal aversion to another person's body. I can no longer bear to think to suck her snot etc.

So this lack of sense of "otherness" of a new born. I am her. She is me. May be why some parents do not see it as a big deal to make such choices for their tiny baby child.

And you can dismiss culture, but if it is normal for everyone around you to pierce a child then you are far more likely to do it.

Im currently "training" my toddler's hair so she can have a parting. This involves combing her hair and putting it in bunches. I have made a cosmetic choice for my daughter. There's a functionality to it - far easier to keep out of her eyes than with her natural whorl parting. But it is uncomfortable for her daily to have her hair brushed. And it is my choice to give her long hair because culturally that is normal for little girls. I could just cut it short out never ever comb it. Instead I choose to inflict a small amount of pain daily so that she can look nice and cared for.