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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Third degree phoning in sick

274 replies

Pinkpowerofthought · 29/11/2017 07:09

I've been at my work for a year now. No sick days previously.
I phoned in this morning with flu and said I won't be in because I have flu.
My work is super busy this time of year so is a pita for them but I phoned at 6.30am.

They asked about my flu symptoms and said maybe it's just a head cold. Um no if it was a head cold I could just muddle on. I've got sore throat, headache, swollen eyes and achey muscles. I also feel really sick and have pains in my stomach.
They suggested I call them at lunch time to see if I can come in tomorrow and they can find something for me to do even if it means something lighter.
Aibu to think they were totally unsupportive, pressuring me to come in before I'm better and making me feel like I was exaggerating my symptoms?
They asked if I was going to see a doctor. I told them bed rest and fluids would be all he would tell me to do.
Aibu to think this was ridiculous?

OP posts:
Bella8 · 30/11/2017 18:00

Liketoshop Must be different in your area but my sister had a terrible time. She got 2 occasions in a rolling year and included pregnancy sick. They disciplined her when she was pregnant and hit the third!!!

Bella8 · 30/11/2017 18:01

Also you shouldn't judge as I haven't said it for fun Grin

meritblinds · 30/11/2017 18:02

Unfortunately, many jobs are like this.

I worked for a Local Authority in London, a little while ago, had a miscarriage. I supplied medical certs and was called in for sickness monitoring. I was not too pleased as i did not take any time off before the event.

That being said, I wish you well and hope you get better when the symptoms take their course.

RhiannonOHara · 30/11/2017 18:03

It's not flu whatsoever, if you've had flu you'll understand

I've had flu and was in bed for seven days – not on the sofa with a duvet or in bed reading either; flat on my back in bed, dreading needing a pee because the bathroom was a thousand miles (five steps) away. My joints ached like I have never known. I genuinely thought more than once I wasn't going to get better.

That's my flu experience. But I can see from this thread, from medical professionals as well as other people, that some flu experiences are different.

Are you unable to comprehend this, or just unwilling?

LuxuryWoman2017 · 30/11/2017 18:14

I've also had flu that became pneumonia and I could use the Internet and fetch a drink, there really are degrees. Felt dreadful mind, was ambulance job but wasn't entirely out of action after they sent me home. (Doctor called ambulance)

Lovingit81 · 30/11/2017 18:25

Horrendous, never heard anything like it! Hope you feel better soon OP! X

Wellthatwasembarassing · 30/11/2017 18:26

This is really irritating I’ve been diagnosed with flu this week and not only have I been able to use the internet/my phone I’ve also been forced into work as there was no cover. Granted I did bugger all but you can have flu and still move about. I’d definitely take my qualified doctors word for it over mumsnet.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 30/11/2017 18:27

Sickness management policies vary by trust, don’t they? You might be lucky to work in a very forgiving trust, Liketoshop.

TimeforCupcakes · 30/11/2017 18:30

You can self-certify for 5 working days, YANBU but your boss is. Hope you feel better soon x

m0therofdragons · 30/11/2017 18:38

7:10 people carry flu virus so spread it without symptoms.

This was the published research as part of the nhs employers flu campaign this year.

TracyBeakerSoYeah · 30/11/2017 18:41

Hillary Clinton was tested & diagnosed with pneumonia during the last presidential elections.
I bet all the naysayers on this thread are frothing that as Hillary was just about managing to walk that she couldn't have really had pneumonia.

If you read previous threads re is it flu or not flu, you'll see that people have been swabbed positive for swine flu yet feeling ok.
Flu effects people differently.
Flu effects people differently.
Flu effects people differently.

Have you got it posters disagreeing?

m0therofdragons · 30/11/2017 18:41

Op hope you feel better soon. I'm off sick today too. Not flu but throat and sinus pains, high temperature and glands all up so I'm aching. I can barely walk downstairs and back (managed it once but had to rest before coming back up) I can however mn occasionally.

BuzzKillington · 30/11/2017 18:43

I don't think they should have grilled you at all.

I once rang my boss to say I was in hospital, on a drip and with a suspected pulmonary embolism and he said, 'hope to see you tomorrow'!

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 30/11/2017 18:44

It doesn't matter if its flu or not. She's feeling too unwell to work, doesn't take days off lightly and now is being bullied into having her normal day off ( I'm assuming she's part time) counted as one of the four sick day "strikes". YOu should def call your union and see what they make of your bosses behaviour .

Howlongtilldinner · 30/11/2017 18:45

I can’t see where the OP ever asked for a diagnosis from MumsnetHmm

Yes your workplace were being arses..unfortunately this is all too commonSad

Wish you better OP..whatever your condition may be!

pam290358 · 30/11/2017 18:45

I LOVE that so many people have the ability to diagnose flu (or not) with no medical knowledge and without even seeing the person. There are so many strains of it in the country now, not even the seasonal flu jabs can keep up, so I congratulate you all on your powers of diagnosis. Even if it’s not flu, it’s clearly some kind of bug which presumably can be transmitted to others on the workforce, which will only make things worse for the employer - who is being a total arse. Stay at home until you feel better - this country is obsessed with the idea that people phone in sick to skive. Maybe some do, but if you’re genuinely ill you shouldn’t have to put up with this crap - sickness every now and then is not a crime, and if you don’t have a bad sick record you shouldn’t be made to feel that it is.

Turquoise123 · 30/11/2017 18:47

Whilst it might not be firendly it's not unusual.

I assume you don't live in London - this idea of getting an appointment that day - oh how we laughed.

I suspect a major reason for people seeing their GPs when they don't need to is because of bosses like this...

lizzieoak · 30/11/2017 18:49

Where I live in Canada we had so many employers insisting on sick notes for flu that some drs started refusing to issue them, saying infectious people with no other problems should be at home resting not infecting their waiting rooms, and that it was a massive waste of healthcare funding & that employers needed to give their heads a shake :D

Jayfee · 30/11/2017 18:50

I had the virus whch is doing the rounds and I was in bed for two days and am still getting ver it. Not quite flu but worse than a bad cold. Husband also spent a couple of days in bed. Neither of us are weaklings! So, op, take the rest you need. Perhaps your line manager gets it and he will know how you feel!

Housemum · 30/11/2017 18:55

Not RTFT so apologise if duplicating
"Can't be flu" - well it could be. I had flu 6 years ago (I assume it was, I don't remember much of it, never went to GP as I figured no point in spreading it and Tamiflu only works if taken in first 48 hours I think). First day I felt really groggy but managed to stay up and sort of be myself at home, went to bed a bit early. Next day vomiting and sweating, drifting in and out of sleep. Hot one minute, cold next. DH brought up my phone - I'd just got my first IPhone - it was still charged 3 days later as I couldn't bear to look at the screen until then. That's how I self diagnosed flu...

Some employers are crap at using common sense. The chancers who take a day off sick at the drop of a hat mean everyone gets interrogated. DD1 worked for a supermarket, you had to phone in sick yourself (rules I suppose to stop you getting a mate to call). Anyway, she has epilepsy and had a seizure so after checking she wa ok I phoned the shop. "I can't take the message from you, can I speak to her?" Um, did you hear what I said?! They got very huffy when I explained that after a tonic-clinic seizure she would be spark out asleep for 2 or 3 hours at least.

Housemum · 30/11/2017 18:56

D & V isn't a great excuse where I work (healthcare) as you have to provide a stool sample...

notgivingin789 · 30/11/2017 19:16

I stupidly thought a flu was similar to a very bad cold. Oh ! How wrong was I ? I've had the flu once and I literally wanted to die. It was so awful, worse than having tonsillitis.

malificent7 · 30/11/2017 19:18

Does it matter if it flu or not. The point is you were too ill to go in and your employer should accept it.

Tbh if you are an employer you should plan well in advance to cover illness and if you dont then it's your problem not your employees problem.

pinkpantherpink · 30/11/2017 19:25

Some people shouldn't be line managers. My partner had similar difficult conversations while on leave with depression. Manager insisted they return to work as others on the team wanted to take time off. Mind boggles sometimes.

Mycatsaninja · 30/11/2017 19:27

I know of someone who was diagnosed by a doctor as having flu one day and died the following day . Turned out it was bacterial meningitis . Don’t take any chances , even doctors get it wrong !

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