Third degree phoning in sick

[Pinkpowerofthought]

I've been at my work for a year now. No sick days previously.
I phoned in this morning with flu and said I won't be in because I have flu.
My work is super busy this time of year so is a pita for them but I phoned at 6.30am.

They asked about my flu symptoms and said maybe it's just a head cold. Um no if it was a head cold I could just muddle on. I've got sore throat, headache, swollen eyes and achey muscles. I also feel really sick and have pains in my stomach.
They suggested I call them at lunch time to see if I can come in tomorrow and they can find something for me to do even if it means something lighter.
Aibu to think they were totally unsupportive, pressuring me to come in before I'm better and making me feel like I was exaggerating my symptoms?
They asked if I was going to see a doctor. I told them bed rest and fluids would be all he would tell me to do.
Aibu to think this was ridiculous?

I've just had flu.

It was horrendous. But I still managed to work (from home). I figured that it wasn't 'real' flu as I was still working/breastfeeding/crawling around.

It lasted for 3 weeks. I would feel crap, but would have to work on the computer for a few minutes at a time before collapsing on the sofa.

I had to push on as I had no choice.

Eventually I ended up at the doctors severely dehydrated and exhausted, due to virus/heavy period/breastfeeding/not sleeping as toddler cutting molars.

I told the doctor what had happened. I said I had an awful cold. She said I probably had flu. I said no, I could still work but then I'd crawl back to bed. She said, that's flu!!

OP - whatever you have, get some rest and look after yourself. I didn't, and I ended up in a really bad way.

Ott employer grilling you, but having a real person answering the sick line made a huge difference to the sickness rates at one place I worked at.

Dunno if it's flu, I'm no doctor, but if you feel too unwell to work, then it's stupid to try to get in. I did it once, it wasn't pretty. I cried, they sent me home, it was more bothersome for them to get cover so late, I should have stayed home. Turns out I had an ulcer, stress related.

Hope you're better soon, OP.

I hate the "only a cold" brigade who bang on about sniffles and manflu. I get 2-3 cold a year that are bad enough to keep me either in bed or half asleep on the sofa for 3 days. There's no way I can work- I can't do anything except sneeze, blow my nose and sleep- and I do a wussy office job where I can keep my head down and take it slow for a bit if I need to and catch up later. If you're doing a job that's physical, or outdoors, or in front of the public all the time, it must be ten times worse. Hope you feel better soon, OP.

I had swine flu when pregnant (tested positive). I was only in bed one day.

Actually if you have a nasty viral infection that's making you unsteady on your feet, the worst thing you can do is soldier on through a physical job. People who take prolonged exercise during the active phase of a virus are at increased risk of scary complications like cardiac and circulatory infection.

“I hate the "only a cold" brigade who bang on about sniffles and manflu. I get 2-3 cold a year that are bad enough to keep me either in bed or half asleep on the sofa for 3 days. There's no way I can work”

But that isn’t what anyone on here is saying! You’re letting your own issues prevent you from reading what people are writing.

A cold can be bad. A cold can be bad enough not to work. You don’t have to say it is flu in order to not go into work. That is the point.

If you're not well enough to go in you should definitely stay at home.

About 30% of people with flu have NO symptoms at all (they're the ones who spread it around). Very few people with it will be so ill that they can't get out of bed

This doesn't sound right to me. Flu is horrible, I've had it twice in my life and it feels very different to a cold. The 30% of people with no symptoms haven't gone down with the symptoms yet. They're not just walking around feeling fine.

I had a really horrible cold last week and I felt dreadful. But it wasn't flu. It wasn't even a cold with aches and pains, it was all above my neck though I've got a cough now.

You can have a minor cold and keep working. But some colds need you to rest and for quite a long time and employers just have to lump it. We're not machines, we're people and we get ill. (And even if employers could replace us with machines, the machines would break down).

I think I had flu, years ago. I was exhausted; really weak in the sense that, I didn’t have the energy to get out of bed and make a drink. I lost weight rapidly as I couldn’t face food. I was off work for three weeks and for most of that, I was asleep. It took me a couple of months to feel normal again. I’ve no idea what it was. It started as a sore throat and sniffle and then just floored me.

I’ve no idea if it was flu or a bad cold when I was just “run down”.

Any illness can have varying degrees of severity. I never knowingly had chickenpox, my parents never noticed and I have no memories of it. When my immunity was tested I was found to be immune so must have had it in some form at some stage.

I’ve never knowingly had flu. But I doubt I have completely avoided the flu virus for nearly half a century - I must just not get many symptoms that go beyond cold-like.

That's awful, Shoveller. Some of the bullies in the playground patently don't grow up. I notice you've used the past tense, though, so she's no longer your boss now.

I had swine flu years ago, pre DDs so thankfully I could completely stop. It was horrendous, I've never puked like it before or since. My DH had something similar but a much lesser version of it (presumably because he'd had the flu jab, being asthmatic.)

I'm feeling like this too today so I feel your pain. My previous manager in my old job clearly didn't believe me cos she was rude to me and demanded a Dr's note (despite it being the first morning I called in!) It backfired on her though cos the Dr was amazed at what she'd asked for and with a big grin on his face handed me a note for a week off 😀😀😀

I think an employer's attitude varies by employee. [Prepares to be flamed] but I have one person in my team who is completely reliable, always goes above and beyond, shows initiative and is very rarely ill and another who is the exact opposite (and always bloody ill). I know that I take a much more sympathetic view to the former than the latter, and I'm much more interrogatory to the latter about when they'll be back.

Appreciate this isn't the case for you OP, as this is your first sick day.

It says 4 instances not 4 days. Don't go back too early and then have to go home again as that would then count as another instance of sickness.

Thanks to those who've posted the NHS and CDC stuff about the varying degrees of flu. I had appalling flu a few years ago and had assumed that anything less severe just wasn't flu.

It's part of an overall culture of suspicion towards the employee. Of course, there are lead-swingers and piss but mostly, people are honest imho.

Hope you feel better soon!

But why can’t you say it’s flu if it might be flu? What the OP has does sound like it might be flu. Nobody here is saying she shouldn’t have a day off with a heavy cold, but there are a number of people telling the OP she can’t have flu and they can’t possibly know that. And a few repeating the if you can MN/pick up a £20 myth.

Influenza lasts for weeks. Not just a few days. I've never had it so I can't imagine how horrific it is. I've had loads of colds that have laid my up in bed for a few days but I've never had influenza.

And schools do the same to their pupils. I had this only last week. I told DD to put her uniform on just in case they made her go in, we had to take DS2 to school anyway. The attendance officer said, "She should come in, and if needed I'll ring you." DD felt sick all day, it was all she could think about, and because of this, she said her work was "rubbish". A total waste of a day, which she could have spent at home resting. And now another girl in her class has got it. We're not entirely sure what "it" is, but it seems to be doing the rounds on MN too.

Dances they're lucky you didn't give birth on the spot!

Oh, and Job Centres. I was hospitalised with a kidney infection, I was expected to ring in because I missed my signing day. I think my temperature was something like 39C.

When I was a manager for one of the UK's largest employers, we were told to grill people like this when they phones in sick. We were supposed to ask them to come in anyway and we'd find them light work to do, or persuade them to come in and take half a day leave (paid if they had any left, otherwise unpaid!).

If they insisted they couldn't come in we had to ring them later in the day and guilt them into coming back next day. If you were off for a few days you had to phone before 8 every single day and go through this rigmarole daily.

If they were signed off by a GP, we had to phone them weekly to check if they might be feeling able to come back early anyway. After three weeks we had to do a Home Visit.

All of this was very strictly documented and if you missed a step anywhere you got a total bollocking. I couldn't bring myself to treat hardworking grown adults like this, and several colleagues felt the same. So in the end we had to have a central Absence Manager - basically the scariest toughest manager in the building - and they dealt with all the sick stuff full time.

I'll never forget being forced to give a woman who'd had a heart attack a sickness warning when she returned to work - just because Occupational Health hadn't been able to see her yet to confirm she had a long term exempt condition. The warning was then rescinded, of course, and I explained this would happen so don't worry, but she absolutely lost any respect for me and the company at that moment. I felt like shit.

Re: Jobcentres - My friend was sectioned and had all his benefits stopped. They refused to pay what he was entitled to as although they accepted HE couldn't have phoned them to say he wasn't attending his appointment, he had relatives who could have phoned in for him! I'm sure notifying his family that they needed to phone the Jobcentre was the first thing on his mind that day

coddiwomple thank you. On the eve of DD1's 2nd birthday, I came down with flu. I sat in an armchair all day, trying to stay awake to watch 2 toddlers. When XH came home, I had to ask him to make the jellies for the party, or I would definitely have thrown up. Mums generally just have to get on with things, because they have no alternative.

Does it really matter wether it's Flu or not I have never had Flu I do get tonsillitis though (bacterial abscesses all over my tonsills) I couldn't work with it.