Christmas Gift

[pinyata]

Me and DP have a 6 month DD this is her first Christmas.

BIL and SIL are expecting their first in the new year. DP discussed with BIL what they would like to do re presents and agreed to just buy the kids.

DP has just asked me for Ideas on what to buy expected nephew to which I was a bit the baby is not born yet and I feel like this will take away from next year when it is his actual first Christmas.

So my AIBU that I don’t feel comfortable buying a Christmas present for a nephew who hasn’t been born as of yet and what would you buy?

Ps - am not being miserable or grabby as when it was suggested that we only do kid presents I was still planning on buying BIL and SIL a small gift each (smelliest or smithing similar) to give to them from DD. We have also bought one of the larger needed baby items for when he actually arrives.

The baby isn't even born yet so you don't buy a gift for an unborn baby this year. How weird that you would think you would. Surely BIL & SIL aren't expecting give for their unborn child?!

@ExcavatusGigantus No they definitely are expecting a gift for baby

BIL exact words were we will buy for DN and you buy for nephew

I Wouldn't buy a Christmas present for a child who hadn't been born yet.

Bloody hell, I missed out on all those present that Christmas when I was a very large bump.

Absolutely no way I'd buy a Christmas present for an unborn baby. That's crazy.

That's weird.

Just say 'When he's actually born though yes? Because else that would just be odd' Tinkly laugh

I think you've missed the points of gifts. You have agreed to buy for kids, not adults. They will buy for your kid, and you know they would like you to get a gift for theirs, even though it is not born.
But no, your feelings matter more and you want to not get them what you know they will like, but what you think they should have, despite your agreement. Why would you want to be so rude? The point of gifts is to make people happy!

Just get them something baby related, if it makes you feel better you can say its for them and not for the baby. But when you are giving gifts, its about them, not you.

I also think it's weird to buy a present for an unborn child, but I also think it's strange to agree to do 'kids' only' presents with a couple who don't have them, even if you were secretly planning to get them a token gift. I guess DP assumed that you'd be buying for the one in utero as otherwise you'd not be getting them a gift at all and he felt very awkward about that? I do still think that's an odd expectation, though!

tinysparklyshoes are you the crazy SIL?

we knew they were on a budget due to expected baby and asked if they would like to not do presents this year as historically we have bought them and they have bought us.

Was advised they will buy DN and we can buy (unborn) nephew.

Because I think you should try and make people happy with a gift and not make a point?
Yes, clearly I.m the crazy sil who only wants what OP actually agreed to.

My family bought for me when I was pregnant. Just a few baby bits like what you would get for a baby shower.

I didn't have a baby shower so this was lovely

Buy something for your sil. Dont buy a present for an unborn nephew. Strange

I don't think the OP is trying to make a point, I also don't think she agreed to it. It comes across as though her BIL just stated it as this is what would happen.
You must see that buying Christmas gifts for a child that isn't even born yet is nuts.

This misses the point a bit, but I still have the teddy bear my uncle gave mum and dad for me when mum was just four months pregnant. I'm 32, and now my daughter has it in her bed :)

and YY to getting something for your SIL.

@Soubriquet There is going to be a baby shower it’s in January I have made a box of small bits and bobs to give them at that, however am thinking I might just give this at Christmas instead however it is a very “Baby Shower” gift.

I’m looking for a present that isn’t too cheap and thoughtless but not impressive enough to take the shine of anything we get him next year (his first Christmas)

Some chocolates, bio oil, something like that, baby shower type gift.s

You could just give them a mothercare voucher or something.

I can't see the problem - just buy them what they want. You could get a little soft toy for when the baby is tiny and an outfit. Job done.
I'm with tiny on this - the purpose is to make them happy. You know what will achieve this so why wouldn't you?

not impressive enough to take the shine of anything we get him next year (his first Christmas

Eh? Who on earth do you think will be monitoring that baby's first Christmas present exceeds baby's in utero present? I'm imagining a family sat around in Christmas 2018, sadly saying that their child's first Christmas is essentially meaningless because they already got a good present last year... I promise you, unless it's wildly inappropriate or otherwise comedic or insulting, no one will even remember what you bought this year when it gets to next year.

I also think the suggestions that you buy for SIL instead are a bit weird - then why doesn't BIL get a gift?!

@MargaretCavendish I think I maybe be slightly overthinking this as it’s my DD’s first Christmas and have bought far too much lots of Baby First Christmas items.

You must see that buying Christmas gifts for a child that isn't even born yet is nuts

No, I must not see it. Oddly enough, people have different perspectives on things.

Buying presents for soon to be born children is by no means an odd thing to do. In fact it is perfectly normal, the done thing. Xmas is a red herring.

If you’re not skint, I’d just buy a few bits n bobs to save any angst. I do think it’s batshit to expect a gift for a dn that’s not even born yet