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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend showed up to daughter's bday party uninvited

64 replies

Eva29 · 26/11/2017 22:25

I didn't invite my friend's daughter to my kid's bday party,and I knew she would find out about it cause I invited a common friend. She showed up at the playland on the day with a bunch of friends and chased me around to make me feel bad. Her daughter was wearing a party dress. I told her I had invited only schoolmates, which was true but not entirely. She pretended she was cool with it but obviously she wasn't. The reason I didn't invite her is because she excluded me from major life events last year. First she told me we were invited to her daughter's party last year and then she "forgot" to invite me. I texted her a day before " when is the party" and she replied "tomorrow". I felt awful but still took my kid to the party and gave her a present. 2 months later while I was on holidays she sent me on Facebook pictures of her wedding reception. I had no idea she was planning to get married to her boyfriend, she never mentioned it in the numerous times we chatted. She never invited me and then just sent me pictures of the party. I felt horrible and my holiday was almost ruined. Now she feels like she has the right to show up at my kid's party and try to make me feel bad. If she doesn't care, why does she bother?

OP posts:
tiptopteepe · 26/11/2017 22:27

Well yes she sounds like a bad friend and fair enough dont be friends with her if you dont want to be. But what on earth has her daughter got to do with it? Thats a child you are excluding to get at an adult which is pretty shoddy behaviour. If you want to fall out with this woman thats your call but please dont use kids as weapons.

munkynutts · 26/11/2017 22:30

"First she told me we were invited to her daughter's party last year and then she "forgot" to invite me. I texted her a day before " when is the party" and she replied "tomorrow"."

Err, so she did invite you then? So wanted an invite to your daughters in return?

mothergetslippy · 26/11/2017 22:32

Just end this so called friendship. Its not healthy, particularly for the kids who are getting involved in it, even though its not their issue!

RunningOutOfCharge · 26/11/2017 22:33

I think you both need to grow up

The poor children caught up in this madness!

Littlelambpeep · 26/11/2017 22:33

End the friendship. It is strange and unhealthy.

mothergetslippy · 26/11/2017 22:34

Weren't you on holiday when the wedding was happening so couldn't have gone anyway?

Plus, your child was invited to her childs party, you just didn't get the physical invite.

AfunaMbatata · 26/11/2017 22:34

Jeremy Kyle show be thatta way>>>>

ButchyRestingFace · 26/11/2017 22:35

She showed up at the playland on the day with a bunch of friends and chased me around to make me feel bad

Not sure I quite get this part. 🤔

Anyway, sounds like friendship is done. Time to stick a fork in it.

Eva29 · 26/11/2017 22:38

When I said she invited me I meant she kept talking about the party that she "will" invite me, but never gave me an invitation. I didn't play games, I sincerely thought she'd rather not come. And our kids are 3-years old, it's not like they can come to the party alone.

OP posts:
Migraleve · 26/11/2017 22:41

Why do you refer to her as a friend? You are clearly not freinds.

SparklyMagpie · 26/11/2017 22:41

Just finish the friendship

Did your daughter want her friend there?

You did go to her daughters party so I'm not seeing that issue?

Just end it and move on, grown women here, should both act like it

Fishface77 · 26/11/2017 22:43

She sounds like a twat and you sound needy.
Just don't bother again. Let it fade out.

MadMags · 26/11/2017 22:45

I don't understand. Who did she show up with? And she literally followed you around the place??

Littlechocola · 26/11/2017 22:45

The children sound more grown up

Bambamber · 26/11/2017 22:46

Sounds like tit for tat with a couple if young kids stuck in the middle

CorbynsBumFlannel · 26/11/2017 22:47

Turning up with her dd to a party she wasn't invited to is weird whether she felt she was owed an invitation or not!
What happened when the party children went off to eat?

Gemini69 · 26/11/2017 22:47

Get shot... she's poison... Flowers

Italiangreyhound · 26/11/2017 22:48

You can have it out with her or you can let it fade away, do whatever feels right.

I am so sick of all the 'you sound as bad as each other'! They do not. The friend excluded her from an event, then sent photos and said she would invite her dd then left it with no invite and when the OP chased she was told it was the next day. Both not the same as not inviting someone.

Plus OP, I think realistically if you are no longer friends there is no point going through all this.

ILikeThatSong123 · 26/11/2017 23:00

Looks like she upsets you/irritates you and friendship is not working.
Whatever has happened so far, happened, doesn't matter. Just drop her, be civil when you see each other and don't give her any reason to think that you are affected by her actions. Be and act nonchalant about her life events/parties etc. She is not that important, you don't like her, nor dislike her, that sort of thing. Don't concentrate on her and she won't be able to get to you and she'll eventually notice that.
Easier said than done, I've mastered that now by exercising this for quite some time and observing people who manage to be like that. It's so liberating.
You'll respect yourself and will feel good.

BackforGood · 26/11/2017 23:01

This

I think you both need to grow up

The poor children caught up in this madness!

gingergenius · 26/11/2017 23:05

Are you 12?

LondonGirl83 · 26/11/2017 23:06

If she didn't want to invite you she simply wouldn't have said anything about the party. I think you are reading too much into not getting 'invited' to her daughters birthday party.

That she didn't invite you to her wedding is fine. She clearly doesn't consider you a close enough friend for that. I'm not sure why you wouldn't invite her daughter to a birthday party because of this.

Its odd she showed up at the venue though. To be honest you both sound as bad as each other...

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 26/11/2017 23:19

Good Lord. You're not friends...this isn't friendship! Just avoid each other from now on!

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 26/11/2017 23:23

What do you mean chased you round? YOU just turned up to her daughters party and her to your daughters do you are just as bad in that sense.
Regardless it's fucking immature to make a child suffer because you are stupidly petty.

MrsA2015 · 26/11/2017 23:26

Grow up ffs