Friend showed up to daughter's bday party uninvited

[Eva29]

I didn't invite my friend's daughter to my kid's bday party,and I knew she would find out about it cause I invited a common friend. She showed up at the playland on the day with a bunch of friends and chased me around to make me feel bad. Her daughter was wearing a party dress. I told her I had invited only schoolmates, which was true but not entirely. She pretended she was cool with it but obviously she wasn't. The reason I didn't invite her is because she excluded me from major life events last year. First she told me we were invited to her daughter's party last year and then she "forgot" to invite me. I texted her a day before " when is the party" and she replied "tomorrow". I felt awful but still took my kid to the party and gave her a present. 2 months later while I was on holidays she sent me on Facebook pictures of her wedding reception. I had no idea she was planning to get married to her boyfriend, she never mentioned it in the numerous times we chatted. She never invited me and then just sent me pictures of the party. I felt horrible and my holiday was almost ruined. Now she feels like she has the right to show up at my kid's party and try to make me feel bad. If she doesn't care, why does she bother?

You need to avoid any contact with this woman...she is a vindictive menace and in no way is she a friend!
People who pull this kind of regular shit are not worth the time of day.
The only way to get rid of someone like this is to tell them straight that you do not need or want her in your life.

I didn't invite my friend's daughter to my kid's bday party,and I knew she would find out about it cause I invited a common friend

You're playing games and you'd as bad as each other.

Just grow up and stop pretending to be friends, you obviously don't like her very much.

This is completely bonkers, sorry. When it comes to my DDs' parties I don't even think about who is my friend/not my friend. I invite the friends that they want to be there. I socialise with my own friends at other times.

It's a very bad example you're both giving your DDs, IMO.

Thank you butterfly56. Mittens 1969 her daughter has nothing to do with it, she isn't my daughter's schoolmate and i invited school only and for financial reasons couldn't invite more. Tinysparklyshoes I agree I wasn't invited in the end, because she changed her mind about her guests after she had texted me about the party about 10 times. I understand many people here have no time to read the whole the thread, but please don't accuse me of using my child for whatever reason, my child had nothing to do with her, the party was school-only. If anything that was my child's bday and I didn't want to invite any drama on that day. Finally I have no problem whatsoever with someone not inviting me to their party or their wedding, but there is way to do it without hurting others, and here's an idea, breaking the news by sending me photos after the event has passed isn;t one of them.

"I told her I had invited only schoolmates, which was true but not entirely."

"The reason I didn't invite her is because she excluded me from major life events last year."

Did you read your own opening post, OP?

irviveoneohone Yes I do. The party was schoolmates-only but obviously if she still acted like she was one of my best friends like I thought she was, I would have made an exception for her cause i am not a twat! I would have invited her for our friendship though, not my daughter. That's me, I respect and include those i consider my closest friends everywhere in my life, I don't draw lines like she did.

And yes this was a friend i stayed up many times, including Christmas eve to hear her personal problems until 2am. Obviously not enough to consider me "close friend" to even tell me about her wedding. She obviously doesn't give a s*it about our friendship.

Can you clarify what you mean by her following you around?!

Your friendship is obviously well and truly over. Any attempt to cool things down politely has been a bit scuppered by her following you around soft play.

I would have been offended to not be invited to a supposedly close firend’s wedding too (assuming not a tiny wedding), and I can see that you were probably just trying to take a step back from the friendship when you didn’t invite her to DD’s party. If you’d continued inviting her to all of your events when she isn’t inviting you to any of hers, you’d have looked like you can’t take a hint.

Don’t contact her again. If she contacts you, leave it a while before replying and then reply really briefly but politely. Don’t get into any long drawn out arguments over text. You’ve “been really busy recently”.

It sounds a bit muddly. Do you think it's worth trying to sort things out with her? Could you contact her and let her know your confusion? I've tried to come up with a text idea for you but I think it might be better spoken. What's weird for me is that she wants space one minute (not telling you about the wedding) and then pushes herself on you the next. Is it her way or no way? It wouldn't be my cup of tea but if there's a lot of happy history, it might be worth a chat to try to clear things up.

"if you’d continued inviting her to all of your events when she isn’t inviting you to any of hers, you’d have looked like you can’t take a hint."

My thoughts exactly Sashkin

You both sound quite childish. Just let the friendship slide, it's clearly over. It's sad when that happens but better to accept it for what it is.

To be honest it sounds like you should move away from this friendship. I don't think this lady is a good friend. It almost sounds like she did not want you turning up to her party (despite the texts) and turned up to your daughters party in return.

I don't think you're being childish, OP. Your ex-friend sounds a bit of a twat. She wants to keep you in the side lines in case she needs you.

I would distance myself from her.