To take a home made cake into work for my birthday knowing at least one person doesnt eat homemade?

[Slartybartfast]

for reasons I cannot fathom

Are there any people whose anxieties take the opposite form of not being able to eat anything factory-made?

If the anxiety followed logical reasoning (not that anxiety generally does), then, given the evidence of people who have actually worked in food factories, you would surely expect to find an equally large proportion (at least!) whose stomachs turned at the thought of a factory-made cake. Do you? Or is there something else about home-baked cakes that make them a target for anxiety? Is it the personal aspect? Or some sense, these days, that baking things at home is somehow unnatural?

I have extreme phobias around certain foods, including things homemade by people I don't know. Mainly because I don't know how hygienic they are around food. Sure, a lot of germs are killed in the baking, that's great. Now where did the cake cool, how clean is the cake tin, how fresh is the cream used for decorating/filling, are clean hands used to touch/move/slice/plate/distribute. I have caught a stomach bug from a bake sale - most likely due to the handling of the cake rather than the baking.

I'm sure factories are filled with incompetent workers and those that don't care about hygiene. However, inspections are carried out, a standard is expected and something can be done about it if something goes wrong. The same can't be said for the hobby bakers kitchen.

I'm only writing this to answer the curiousity of some pp. In my everyday life if cake is being shared around an office, I politely say ' it looks lovely, but no thank you'. If pushed for a reason I just say I'm not hungry/thirsty. I don't go around accusing the baker/sharer of trying to poison me or call them dirty. I also would never expect an alternative to be brought in for me. It's my problem, not theirs.

Friends and family know about my phobias and help me to feel better if they are cooking for me by letting me watch, or only eat what I feel comfortable with. I'm grateful to have them in my life.

For those that think this sort of phobia and associated issues are nonsense. I would give a lot to be able to take part in celebratory and shared food. It's taken me years to even be able to eat in certain restaurants. Last year I lost 7 stone due to relapse around food/eating phobias and have previously been hospitalised for it. It is real, it sucks, it doesn't listen to reason. I want to try the lovely home baked goods, it just isn't worth another 8 month relapse.

Oh goody. Yet another thread for nasty bitches to pile on people with anxiety issues or eating disorders. If this thread was about a person with autism who wouldn’t eat certain foods, there is no fucking way any of you would dare to be so shitty as you would be (rightly) ripped to shreds. As usual though, mental health issues and OCD are fair game for sneering and piss-taking.

My unwillingness to eat cake does not affect any of your lives one fucking iota. I do not understand the vitriol being directed at those of us who don’t want a piece of cake. It’s not the end of the world ffs.

Beanypastry - I could’ve written your post myself. Hats off to you for writing it so perfectly and openly. The fear behind eating food is immense for me. I’m very rigid in what I eat and only eat ‘safe foods’ in order to try and keep my anxiety to a lower level. If I consume a food that I’ve taken a chance on, I too am sent into a downhill spiral of out of control thoughts and subsequent negativity. It does truly suck and can ruin my day to day life.
Surely the fact someone merely turns down homemade cake, shouldn’t ostracise her?! If it does stem from anxiety, then the whole situation, including people salivating over the bloody cake, is probably sending her into a soon as it is!! Just let her be, as a pp has said....it’s cake!!!!! Just cake ffs!!!!!

Spin not soon

I wouldn’t give it a second thought, it would be entirely up to her and I would pretend I hadn’t heard as it is not an allergy. Sounds rather like a cleanliness OCD issue tbh.

Woosey, thanks, it’s nice to have someone that understands it .. my husband is exactly the same if not worse. People automatically think it’s because we think they’re dirty (which we don’t) there’s just something about the intimacy of it , that’s the only was I can describe it.

A Plate of food in a friends house is fine though 🤷🏻‍♀️

To be honest, I wouldn't even attempt to make an "allergy safe" cake, I'd just make a cake & if people didn't /couldn't eat it - their loss unfortunately.

I can't guarantee that my kitchen is free of any contaminants (nuts etc) so wouldn't even attempt to make a "safe" cake I'm afraid....

Very well explained, Beany, and that makes perfect sense. Ime that is exactly how anxiety works: your mind works out that there are certain "safe" ways, and as long as you stick to them you feel reassured.

The problem is very clearly not anxiety-sufferers like yourself who say "no thanks" politely, but the fact that there are now so many people who speak loudly and vociferously about the disgustingness of home-made baking that people feel uncomfortable and apologetic about even bringing a cake into the office.

Even here on MN there are plenty of posts from people about how revolting cake sales or cakes-in-the-office are. It doesn't make the people who contribute to the cake sales (because they've been asked to) feel particularly good about themselves. A good many people are not content with a quiet "I have anxiety so this is not for me", but seem to feel the need (particularly on MN, of course) of informing other people how wrong they are.

I'd buy her a cake with a snowflake on it!! How ridiculous!!
Just take in your lovely homemade cake and offer her no shop bought alternative! (Why do your workmates not get YOU a cake for your birthday??)
How do people like that get by in life? Even if you order a professional cake, somebody has 'made' it!! If you order a takeaway people have touched the food!! I'd expect her to be emaciated seeing as that's her standpoint 🤔

As ever, life would be a lot nicer and simpler if we stopped judging each other.

Make a homemade cake and take it in. Some people will eat it and some won't - for a variety of reasons. Problems only arise when judgements are made, eg "she's a weirdo for not liking homemade" or "she has low hygiene standards for liking homemade".

Live and let live I say.

You know what if for what reason I didn’t eat homemade cake I just wouldn’t eat it and keep it to myself as it sounds rather offensive to announce I don’t eat homemade.

I have never heard this before. Is it really true that some people won't eat home-made because it's "unhygienic"? Thought it was a joke at first! Wow

My DH was recently looking at the local council hygiene ratings for various cafes & restaurants in our town. Amazing how many had score of only 1 or 2 - now that does make me a bit worried

Im sure nobody says eww homemade.

If you dont eat it then just say no thanks.

This thread has shown how intolerant people are to anyone who is not exactly like them, not liking homemade does not make you a special snowflake or neurotic. Its just a choice. One of many we all make, all day, all our lives as you know, its our lives.

If a man can call himself a woman then i can definitely say i dont like homemade. You know its my choice for me.

And yes i wont eat food from anyones kitchen if i have not seen it before and yes i wont eat from homes with pets unless the pet is always kept out of the kitchen and ive seen the persons cleaning habits. And yes i do eat mcdonalds but watch the person making my food and no i dont eat most takeaways but do eat subway where i ask them to wash their hands and change gloves and you know what they usually do anyway.

And no its not a first world issue, i know many people who grew up in 3rd world countries and wouldnt eat their neighbours food as they lived in filth or the animal was killed differently or many reasons including religious ones.

You know people all make choices for themselves all over the world every second of every day.

The lack of awareness though and rudeness about mental health issues and anxiety goes to show me why so many go undiagnosed and ignored.

And yespeople will say i dont eat homemade as this is an anonymous online forum but in real life, no they will not mention anything and they are right not to as the general attitude of far too many people on this thread and other shows such a lack of tolerance and understanding.

Op take in your homemade cake as that is very lovely of you and i dont think you actually need to worry or buy another for anyone else, most of us would politely decline and say no thankyou, if we are that way inclined with no fuss or bother. Enjoy your birthday.

Flirty girl - perfectly put.

Purplealienpuke - have you no fears? No phobias? And no I’m not emaciated!! I have a fear of foods but get by on ‘safe’ choices and am a very healthy weight thank you!!

I don't think the problems usually come from the people who won't eat homemade. I say a polite no thanks, I'm alright, I've already had some cake today, whatever... More often than not, the reply is just a small slice, it's amazing, don't you like xyz? But I've seen you eating chocolate... And then the guilt about how Jane made it especially for us and it must've taken her so long and... A lot of pro-homemade-ers won't accept a polite no thank you without trying to force people to change their mind.

Don't pander to pickiness. I can't eat nuts and it never bothers me if people bring in a cake I can't eat, so long as they TELL me that there are nuts in it so I know to avoid.

I wouldn't take a homemade cake, but that's because we have 3 dogs and 9 cats, and whilst we're used to the occasional stray hair, I wouldn't subject other people to that. Having said that, I'm not aware of ever having had a hair in anything I've baked, they usually end up in coffee cups. YNBU, I love homemade cake, and shop bought tastes vile.

Slartybartfast
they are of the eeeew camp

Fuck them then, that is absolutely ridiculous.

sparechange
There was a thread about people who don't eat homemade food recently

WTF do they eat then? Only things out of packets?

I've heard it all now.

eliza
They only eat things they've cooked themselves, in their sterile kitchens...

Shocked at home many narrow minded, judgemental people there are on here!!

Lol wait until there are no more working antibiotics left and all we've got is our immune systems

I don't have any food anxieties but I just don't like cake so most often say no thank you. I wish people would just accept that but no it has to be analysed and forced upon you. What is it with cakes?

Chowmum I took a homemade cake into work once and a colleague shouted to everyone her slice had a hair in it. Made a massive scene and threw it in the bin. I was mortified and apologised immediately of course. Everyone else laughed and said there was all the more for them and kept on stuffing their faces. We never spoke to each other again.

I left that job 16 years ago and met one of my friends from there for a drink recently. First thing he said was ‘Do you remember when * made such a scene about your baking?’