Was I unreasonable to message the PTA chair about my children being given presents for wrong age group at school fair?

[YreneTowers]

This is a minor incident and I'm not at all angry or upset, and I understand how hard the PTA works to put on events like the Christmas Fair.

In the interests of full disclosure, I went to the PTA meetings, Christmas Fair planning meeting, helped send letters to local businesses about the fair, helped design a game stall, purchased prizes for the stall, volunteered for half an hour to run the stall and volunteered for another half hour in Santa's Grotto, taking tickets and ushering families through to see Santa.

When my relief at the grotto arrived (call her Betty - she's the mum of a child in DC2's class and also a neighbour, who I have known for several years to chat at preschool or school gates with) a group of children I didn't know (not Betty's kids) came in with her, who I assumed were there to see Santa. I explained which presents were for preschoolers and which for older children as quickly and discretely as possible so I didn't spoil anything for them, and went on my way.

A few minutes later, I took my children in to see Santa. They loved it, but I was surprised to see the kids who had come in with Betty still in there. I realised then that Betty must be babysitting and had brought them along to watch.

I realised quite quickly that Betty was handing the gifts meant for preschoolers to Santa, for my DC1 (8) and DC2 (4). I pointed this out to her as discretely as I could - there were plenty of the gifts meant for school age children left. Instead of correcting the mistake, she kind of rolled her eyes at me, and thanked me for pointing it out, but didn't swap the gifts in her hands for the correct ones and handed them to Santa.

I didn't complain any further, but when we got out had a chat with my children to manage their expectations about what was in the gift. They were disappointed but not upset.

Was I being unreasonable to message the PTA chair to let her know the mix-up happened, and to ask how it can be avoided in future?

The gift for school age children would not be suitable for under 3 year olds as it has small parts and would be a choking risk.

No, not unreasonable at all to want to work out a way that this doesn't happen another year - especially, as you say, if there were choking risks if the older range toys were given to toddlers.
Bu why are you asking? Did the PTA Chair react badly? If so - probably just at the end of his/her tether and a bit overwhelmed - it's a thankless task, being a PTA Chair. Cut them some slack.

I think sensible to let them know - they've been wrapped separately for a reason!

PTA will want to know because from their point of view grotto is not going to be popular next year if that happened to a number of kids this year. They won't want to be left with loads of unclaimed gifts next Xmas!!

YANBU but really overthinking it.

YANBU but really overthinking it.

I haven't a response to my message yet. She was probably drinking lots of wine last night! I'm just having second thoughts about sending it...

Actually you just need to mention it at the next meeting. Mix up with gifts. How can we avoid in future.

Yabu to message her on a saturday night though!

She was a rude twat...and also shouldn't have had kids with her.

As an ex pfa secretary I can tell you that we would have apologised profusely and given you a replacement present. then described you as that parent who whinge about a £3 present from santa for ever more.

If you had attended meetings you'll know how much work goes into organising school fairs. Often with a small core of parents who are run ragged tting to bring it all together.

It's a school fair not Harrods Xmas grotto.

Why didn't you just swap the presents yourself?

Betty is a cow. As you had been helping at the grotto, I think you should have insisted Betty give the gifts for older children to your DC.

I certainly wouldn't give her the time of day anymore after she rolled her eyes at me.

I’m not really sure why you emailed the chair on a Sat night after a one off event. Could you not have just brought it up at the next meeting as wellandtruly suggested. It’s not like the same thing might happen this week. Our school PTA Santa hands out selection boxes - after a good few years of carping about presents.

This isn’t a PTA error though is it - Betty got it wrong ( despite you correcting her ) & didn’t seem to care?
Complain about Betty. I would.

& agree with LEM, I’d have just swapped the presents myself.

You should have swapped them at the time
And labelled them better

LEM - the issue isn't that my kids got the wrong present. It's that all the kids might have got the wrong present, as the gift for older children is not suitable for toddlers.

Older children will be disappointed. Younger children could choke on a toy.

My message wasn't a complaint (or not meant to be) but a 'how can we avoid this happening next time?'

Well betty isn't a cow is she . She's a VOLUNTEER

She is a cow who volunteers. You don't roll your eyes when someone politely points out a mistake and then don't even rectify the mistake.

LEM, the OP is a volunteer too.

Yes yabu to message the pta, you'd already pointed out Betty's error to her. That should've sufficed.

If everyone got the wrong present I daresay other people will complain mention it.

It's quite difficult managing volunteers actually as people are giving up their time. People often bring their children to hinder help and generally we were grateful for any help we received. If you make a "thing" if this all you will achieve is at least one fewer volunteers for the next event.

Maybe the presents weren't labelled clearly.

Is the point to get Betty punished or told off or genuinely to improve things for next year. The fact you couldn't wait implies it's about Betty.

This is a minor incident and I'm not at all angry or upset, and I understand how hard the PTA works to put on events like the Christmas Fair.

There is your answer; it's a minor incident which you are blowing out of all proportion. Children will understand that Santa is very busy and occasionally makes mistake, older children will be able to understand that some very busy, often under-appreciated adults made a mistake.

Just mention it at a meeting without mentioning names and move on. Maybe suggest labelled boxes for the presents so it's less likely to happen next year.

Are you that parent?

YWNBU to be annoyed, but I think you should have changed the gifts yourself. Our school just gives everyone the same present (selection box and photo of child with Santa) to avoid any angst

Presents weren't labelled at all. Probably that's something that needs to change for next time.

I appreciate that it's difficult to get volunteers, and I wasn't complaining about Betty, as such, although I thought she was a bit weird when I pointed out the mistake.

Funniest post ever!!!!
Seriously have any of you seen the news and what's going on in the world!!!!

They weren't labelled?!
Well, change that for next time
Or just get one present that everyone can have