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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cancel the traditional sugar fest at Brownies.

137 replies

SoddingSoda · 25/11/2017 23:57

I started volunteering at a Brownie unit around a year ago after moving back to the area. I absolutely love the girls and how enthusiastic they are, and also the other fellow leader/parent helpers are fantastic. In the summer term I took over the unit as the leader in charge stepped down due to family commitments but still continues to attend most weeks.

Last year when I joined the end of term party went a little like this:
-Girls came in with their contribution to the party food. Someone passed me a bottle of cherryade (I honestly thought they stopped making this stuff in the 90s!!) and I hid it under the table. Then another parent came in with another two bottles of pop.

i made the food into a spread and the girls helped themselves. But the pop was still hidden as I honestly thought that kids didn't drink that stuff/parents wouldn't be too impressed if I poured it out. I must admit I felt uncomfortable serving it when the leader asked what had happened to it (I did ask each child if they were allowed to drink it at home before giving them a glass).

The girls had piles of party rings, jammy dodgers, sweets, watits, skips with one of those nasty tinned dog dogs etc all washed down with a cup of cherryade and coke.

Que absolute mayhem, imagine an American Black Friday sale. Girls not listening to instructions, running around, back chatting, being nasty to each other, not just having fun but being absolute nightmares. An hour later the girls are whining, getting hurt (not listening and messing around), crying for no real reason (struggling with the craft cause two to burst into tears) and just having a total come down. It. Was. Hell.

Now, not wanting to go into detail the other leader's daughter is the worst behaved and her ADHD is easily aggravated by junky food. If it was any other girl at brownies i would have called her parents to pick her up as a) I don't want to be held responsible b) gets aggressive with the others c) is just a plain nightmare. On most nights she can be kept engaged with 'being the helper' but after tonn loads of junk it's impossible but so are most of the other kids. See this is the problem if I write a nice little letter asking the parents to only send party food with the first three ingredients being 'natural' and no fizzy/artificial colours the other leader just doesn't get it. I don't want to be the leader who comes from out of town and kills the 60 year tradition but I just don't agree of giving kids pure shit. I wouldn't eat that stuff, nor let my kids eat it so why would I let other kids in my care eat it. It's a small village, and it seems that not much has changed in the last 100 years. So in my opinion nothing will unless small changes are made for the next generation. I guess I've answer my own AIBU but if I am being AIBU please be nice haha.

OP posts:
Gibble1 · 26/11/2017 00:24

We don’t give mountains of shite to our cubs either on the provisions of our parents. As a parent, I wouldn’t let my DS drink loads of it so wouldn’t send it in.
We do Christmas gifts for ours. The old Leader had settled on chocolate for the past few years. This year I have bought them all a camp blanket for £1.50 from Ikea. There is too much sugar in their diet.

becotide · 26/11/2017 00:28

Don't do this. Don't be that adult who is so over concerned about what other people's kids are eating that they wreck parties to make themselves feel better

Floellabumbags · 26/11/2017 00:32

It's a party and if the parents are happy to provide cherryade (which is hardly crystal fucking meth), you can safely assume that there happy the allow their kids to drink it.

Slinkymalinky1 · 26/11/2017 00:37

We don't have pop at home. But if the kids go to a party I'm pretty chilled out and accept they'll eat/drink stuff that they wouldn't normally have at home. But if I was running a group party, like hell would I provide that crap! For my own sanity! It really does send them bonkers. So I'd suggest maybe a ticket that is sold and you supply the food from the proceeds.

Artificaltreel · 26/11/2017 00:40

Seriously,don't be that person.

Original poster
SoddingSoda · 26/11/2017 00:48

See the issue is two parents bring pop. Out of 15 kids four say they're not allowed it, four sheepishly say they've had fizzy before, a couple boast they have it every day and while a couple ask to taste it. Now there's a few happy with the usual squash and others start to complain why they're not allowed to drink it. One girl last girl her mum brought in fruit juice and her daughter asked for pop. I'm all for girls having choice over their life and no, it's not going to harm them in any shape of form but coming from a different country where it's totally more socially acceptable for kids to drink wine than fizzy it is a little strange to me. i was going to report this thread as I could see the daily mail picking it up but they did do an article last year saying that sugar is more additive than some class A drugs.

OP posts:
oldlaundbooth · 26/11/2017 00:50

Just switch the pop for water.

At least that's a start.

oldlaundbooth · 26/11/2017 00:50

Sugar is totally addictive. Ridiculous to say it's not.

ReanimatedSGB · 26/11/2017 00:52

Do you want to be remembered as the most funsponge Brownie leader of all time?
The reason DC get overexcited after 'party food' is not because sugar is eeeeeeevil, it's because parties are exciting. Try to unclench, or you won't last long as leader.

Maryz · 26/11/2017 00:54

I am so glad my kids are no longer of primary age. All the fun seems to be draining away Sad. I'm wondering whether your worry actually relates to the behaviour of the other leader's child? Which is probably something you should talk about, but not at the expense of the rest of the group.

[arf] at children being given a glass of coke being equivalent of being given a line of cocaine.

WyfOfBathe · 26/11/2017 01:07

I'm a Brownie leader. We have a party at the end of the summer term, and most of the girls bring what you call "shit" to share. We make sure there are some healthy snacks too, but it's up to the girls what they eat and drink. It's a once a year treat - the rest of the year we offer water, and maybe fruit on a trip.

if I write a nice little letter asking the parents to only send party food with the first three ingredients being 'natural' and no fizzy/artificial colours the other leader just doesn't get it.
I wouldn't get it as a leader, and I would laugh if I received it from DD's Rainbows (and then either send her in with party food or keep her home and eat party food).

campion · 26/11/2017 01:12

coming from a different country where it's totally more socially acceptable for kids to drink wine than fizzy it is a little strange to me.

There's your answer. Give them wine-watered down of course in case some parents get sniffy. Far better than cherryadeHmm

Clandestino · 26/11/2017 01:15

Kids would get hyper on anything when it's party time. It's the atmosphere more than the food.
We're pretty relaxed when it comes to party food as it's not something served every day in our house. I see no reason to go overboard with it as that's exactly what makes children so attracted to it. Forbidden fruit tastes best.
Btw, our warm relationship with sweet food is completely natural and has its foundation in evolution. And sweet is the first taste for all babies. Ever tasted breast milk? It's like liquid sugar.

PumpkinSquash · 26/11/2017 01:15

Sugar is totally addictive. Ridiculous to say it's not.

Nobody's saying it isn't Confused
Yes, it's not ideal. I don't like mine having too much sugar and try and limit it.
I don't buy fizzy drinks at all and don't offer them at home - as a result, the 14 year old has zero interest in them, has actually never tried them and won't drink anything apart from water, milk and the occasional blackcurrant squash.
The 10 year old on the other hand if he was at a party would go for the Cola, Cherryade, Fanta.
It's a party. I can't get (too) worked up as he doesn't usually have them. Would be worse to ban them altogether as then you just make them forbidden fruit and more appealing!

ItsAllABitStrangeReally · 26/11/2017 01:22

I have ADHD (( back in the 80s I was diagnosed 'hyperactive ' which was an understatement Hmm

Anyways, the ONE, fizzy drink I was allowed was 7up.

Full sugar 7up as back then it had no crap in.......well compared to the others. So every Christmas my mum would buy a couple of cans.

Chocolate was fine but sweets like opal fruits, chewits, smarties etc were absolute no nos.........and for those suggesting sugar doesnt cause hyperactivity well I suggest you witness a kid who has ADHD on a blue smartie come down.

SparklyUnicornPoo · 26/11/2017 01:31

I do Rainbows, we ask for £2 per child for our Christmas party and do it as a joint thing with Brownies, we provide the food and plate up for them and just tell the girls they can either leave what they don't like or give it to someone else. (also makes it easier to cater for allergies) we then give them a cake and a biscuit each once they've had a chance to eat the savoury food. Drinks are water, orange squash, apple and blackcurrant or summer fruits.

Clandestino · 26/11/2017 01:51

* Chocolate was fine but sweets like opal fruits, chewits, smarties etc were absolute no nos.........and for those suggesting sugar doesnt cause hyperactivity well I suggest you witness a kid who has ADHD on a blue smartie come down.*

But the problem with blue Smarties were the additives used to colour it not sugar! And that was replaced with natural colourings now anyway.

PyongyangKipperbang · 26/11/2017 02:17

Here's a myth busted for you.........

Some people are sensitive, or "intolerant" if you prefer, to sugar. Just because there is no causal link between sugar and every child with ADHD doesnt mean that no child is sensitive to ti and some of those will have ADHD and therefore will increase/intensify their symptoms.

madwoman1ntheatt1c · 26/11/2017 02:33

Check their health forms, tell parents no fizzy pop, you supply some healthy options and tell girls to bring one share plate each.
It's once a year. We always save the feast until the end of the meeting so they go home straight afterwards with a 'have a lovely Christmas/ holiday, see you in January!' It's not rocket science.
The rest of the year and at all camps, we are veritable paragons of virtue, making fruit bouquets and learning about exercise, food and nutrition.
But even brownie leaders are allowed to let the girls have sugar and crap once a year. We just don't supply it ourselves.

AvoidingDM · 26/11/2017 02:51

struggling with the craft cause two to burst into tears

Why were you trying to do a craft? Surely it should have been an evening of party games and dance. Rather than trying to get them to sit quietly doing crafts.

deptfordgirl · 26/11/2017 03:18

Seriously, it's one night and a party. I don't drink fizzy drinks and eat healthily but I really wouldn't care about my ds having it at a party. Life is too short to insist on healthy food at a party.

Mummyoflittledragon · 26/11/2017 03:18

Dd went to rainbows for a while. It was very sedentary. All sitting down, no running around. Dd is very active and loves sport so didn’t last long.

I think the issue here was expectations of what the girls will and won’t do. Party games, running around very much in order. When I went to brownies, we ran around like loons for the first 20 mins then did crafting. But not at a party. The party was just games.

Broken11Girl · 26/11/2017 03:40

Don't be so sanctimonious.
Also don't tell a group of people you're relatively new to they're doing things wrong.
Maybe provide stuff like sandwiches, veg stick and dips, pizza, fruit so it's not just sweet stuff out of the budget. Or ask parents to do so in a nice 'suggestions' way not a bossy way. And limit the girls to one cup of fizzy pop.
But really...get a grip.
If behaviour was that bad that's the issue, you all needed to discipline better. Kids getting hyper then crashing in tears is really what they do at parties, it's not the food. Especially at the end of the autumn term when they'll be knackered and with the excitement of Christmas. Fwiw I need to go home and rock quietly then go to bed in a darkened room after kids' parties, so understand if it's not your thing.

Lollipop30 · 26/11/2017 03:45

‘Either

  • ask for a contribution of £x and buy the spread yourself
Or -assign an item to each Brownie. So assuming 20 girls, Ellie brings 20 multipack of crisps, Sophie brings in sausage rolls, Milly brings in 1 bottle of squash etc’

^ This is what I’d do!

I wouldn’t want to be responsible for crazy kids on a sugar high either, but then I also detest the birthday parties that are just a free-for-all.