Oh, I'm sorry I only found this thread now. So glad you got the help you needed.
When I came home from hospital after a serious car accident, my DH was rather weird. He had been a rock during the 6 months in hospital, but all of a sudden he was huffing and not really helping me.
I was (and still is) in a wheelchair.
The day he watched me roll outside with a cup of coffee in my lap and didn't get up to help me, was the day I snapped. I obviously spilled the coffee and then he said a feeble: "oh, do you need help?"
I told him in no uncertain terms that I was doing absolutely everything for myself and that I will not take 'advantage' of him. But Jesus, if I was walking with coffees and struggling, he wouldn't have thought twice about jumping up and helping. Not WATCH me struggle and then OFFER.
Things improved after that. I suppose he had a hard time and a shock too and was worried that I would just sit in my chair all day and shunt him around (which I proved very quickly I wasn't doing).
Sometimes it's hard for other people to imagine being in your shoes. He'll come right.
I hope the pain is better now, it takes a little while and you think its never going to end but then one day you wake up and it feels great (compared to before).
Hang in there