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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to expect school to take this seriously?

69 replies

Sugarhunnyicedtea · 25/11/2017 21:55

DS phoned me from school yesterday a bit upset. One of his 'friends' trod in dog poo on the way to school and thought it would be funny to wipe his shoe all down the front of my son's trousers. DS had to try to clean it off before school. He told his pastoral teacher at break as he was aware it smelt foul. Teacher said she would speak to the friend and would also phone me. I've heard nothing and nobody spoke to DS again either. When he got home his trousers smelt awful, he had to spend a whole day like that. AIBU to call the school on Monday and say I'm really unhappy, this boy seems to have got away with it, my son is upset and embarrassed

OP posts:
rightsaidfrederickII · 25/11/2017 22:01

YANBU

But how old is he?

TheOriginalNNB · 25/11/2017 22:02

Definitely call school.
Your poor DS.

Original poster
Sugarhunnyicedtea · 25/11/2017 22:03

Sorry. He's 12

OP posts:
Anasnake · 25/11/2017 22:03

Do you know if anyone spoke to the other boy ?

Original poster
Sugarhunnyicedtea · 25/11/2017 22:05

DS says no. They are called out of class to speak to pastoral and this boy was in the same lessons as DS for the rest of the day

OP posts:
CakeNinja · 25/11/2017 22:06

It happened outside of school so who was responsible for him during this time?
He should have changed his bottoms when he got to school, or asked school to find or ring home for an alternative.
How old is he?
Sorry, I'm not unsympathetic at all, I can totally understand how embarrassing and nasty this has been for your ds, but working in a school, we are reluctant to actively start following up something that happened outside of school hours when the children should be supervised by parents (I'm in a primary). But things like ongoing bullying etc are always taken seriously (in that if things happen outside school, we will always listen).

ShellyBoobs · 25/11/2017 22:07

Shit happens.

CakeNinja · 25/11/2017 22:07

Sorry, x-post, just seen he's 12.
So I'm guessing he wasn't walking supervised with a grown up!
Why didn't he just change his trousers when he got to school or find someone when he got in to speak to?

dementedpixie · 25/11/2017 22:09

How could he change trousers, they don't take multiple outfits to school!

Original poster
Sugarhunnyicedtea · 25/11/2017 22:10

It happened in school, just before registration. They're at senior school so they don't have a change of clothes in school, I wouldn't imagine school do either. I offered to take a change of trousers in when he phoned me but, as I work an hour away it would have been lunchtime before I got there. As an adult I appreciate there are things he could have done but he just knows he has to be in registration and in lessons or he gets in trouble

OP posts:
Original poster
Sugarhunnyicedtea · 25/11/2017 22:11

ShellyBoobs - thanks, very helpful!

OP posts:
PrincessoftheSea · 25/11/2017 22:11

The school should have sent him home to change and the other boy should get into serious trouble. How disgusting. I would be fumingAngry

ImTakingTheEssence · 25/11/2017 22:15

Shelly "shit happens" really? Wouldnt put up with if the school phoned i would expect they would send him home to be changed or at least offer him a spare pair of trousers. The fact he phoned you and told you i would expect him to tell someone and come home i wouldnt care less if its going against the school rules if thats how they handle things like that. What is he suppose to do in.a situation like that the teacher shud of stepped up.

routineplease · 25/11/2017 22:16

YANBU the school should have reprimanded the boy. It is absolutely disgusting and not acceptable at all. For one it's not hygienic and could have posed a health risk.
I would complain and never mind the rubbish about it happening out of school. I'm sick of hearing about schools burying their heads with these sort of problems.

endofthelinefinally · 25/11/2017 22:16

At my dcs' secondary school a pair of trousers or tracksuit bottoms would have been produced from lost property or the first aid /welfare room.
Very poor handling ( or lack of) by the school IMO.
Tbh it constitutes a health risk so he should have been assisted on the grounds of health and safety.

CakeNinja · 25/11/2017 22:27

Sorry, my dc have PE kits in school and this would be one time I'd be glad to have had to shell out for the winter kit which has school tracksuit bottoms. Demented, I haven't once worked in a school without an overflowing lost property box, you might just need to engage some common sense to ask to borrow some of it!
Are you saying the school have no lost property he could have changed into, or that he didn't ask for it?
I'm surprised that he didn't think to go straight to reception with his dilemma -they would have then known he was there and probably found him some spares.
I guess your ds now knows that the stupid child who did this is definitely NOT his friend.

becotide · 25/11/2017 22:34

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Original poster
Sugarhunnyicedtea · 25/11/2017 22:35

He's in his first year at senior school and probably had no idea what to do. He has plenty of common sense but he would have been panicking about getting to registration- I think I'd be pretty stressed having to clean poo off my trousers and probably wouldnt be thinking straight. They have no lost property that I'm aware of, he also only has a pe kit on the days he needs it. Maybe IABU and he should have dealt with the whole thing himself. I think I'll speak to the school on Monday to find out what should happen for future reference

OP posts:
OldWitch00 · 25/11/2017 22:38

Would your son not have been able to go to the school office and call you?

rcit · 25/11/2017 22:40

This is disgusting. I'd email the head. I don't know what is wrong with children these days. Such terrible behaviour.

CheshireChat · 25/11/2017 22:44

Actually I don't think he should have to come up with a solution by himself, great if he does obviously, but otherwise he's been left in the care of adults who should be the ones to sort something out.

CakeNinja · 25/11/2017 22:45

I don't think YABU to be annoyed at all, id be miffed that once he'd told his teacher, they didn't then point him in the direction of where lost property was if he didn't know etc, but I do think he ought to have been able to think through what he needed to do in order not to sit in shitty clothes all day.

dementedpixie · 25/11/2017 22:47

He did speak to an adult in the school and they didn't phone the OP. My Dd only has pe kit in on pe days and it doesn't include trousers

dementedpixie · 25/11/2017 22:48

What exactly could he do with no access to other clothing?

MummaDeeDee · 25/11/2017 22:48

That’s awful. The school should have given him a pair of trousers to change into and disciplined the other boy. I’d be on the phone Monday morning.