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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to expect school to take this seriously?

69 replies

Sugarhunnyicedtea · 25/11/2017 21:55

DS phoned me from school yesterday a bit upset. One of his 'friends' trod in dog poo on the way to school and thought it would be funny to wipe his shoe all down the front of my son's trousers. DS had to try to clean it off before school. He told his pastoral teacher at break as he was aware it smelt foul. Teacher said she would speak to the friend and would also phone me. I've heard nothing and nobody spoke to DS again either. When he got home his trousers smelt awful, he had to spend a whole day like that. AIBU to call the school on Monday and say I'm really unhappy, this boy seems to have got away with it, my son is upset and embarrassed

OP posts:

insancerre · 26/11/2017 08:13

I would write a letter of complaint to the head teacher
There should have been someone who was able to help so that he didn't have to wear those trousers all day

cansu · 26/11/2017 08:16

The teacher probably got caught up with sonething else. I would maybe ask if the other boy had been spoken to yet to remind her. As for your ds you need to talk to him about speaking up. He should have asked his forn teacher if he could change into pe kit or if there was anything suitable in lost property. In an ideal world and in a little primary school an adult would have sorted this whole problem in a big busy secondary school your ds has to speak up and make sure he gets dealt with.

rainbowstardrops · 26/11/2017 08:16

What a disgusting thing to do! YANBU to expect the school to take this seriously and I would definitely contact the school first thing Monday morning.
Your poor boy

Middleoftheroad · 26/11/2017 08:24

op your DS is only 12 and did tell a teacher. My year 7s would not think to ask for spare trousers and they only take in PE kit when needed. The school should have made sure he was in clean trousers - it wasn't his responsibility.

Big schools with lots of rules can be so hard for year 7s. Add into the mix what had happened and how he must have felt. Poor thing.

My DTs schools phones are not allowed and I wonder what would happen in that situation as they could not make contact with me

sirbedevere · 26/11/2017 08:28

I worked in a semi pastoral role at a comp, and we would have without question either found a pair of trousers, asked a parent to bring a pair in and if not possible done a quick trip to Tesco to pick up a cheap pair! There's no way he would have been left like that all day! Poorly dealt with by the school.

Pengggwn · 26/11/2017 08:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hippyhippyshake · 26/11/2017 08:56

I can only assume the pastoral teacher had a bigger disaster to deal with. But why didn’t she immediately suggest something to change into or was she going to call home and ask for spares to be brought in? The only thing ds did wrong was waiting until break time to say something. When did he phone you? I would have phoned the school straight away and asked what he should do and then taken a spare pair if they didn’t have any. Definitely ask the school what your ds should have done differently, they will hopefully then realise a mistake had been made. Poor thing, in shitty clothes all day!

Original poster

Sugarhunnyicedtea · 26/11/2017 09:08

Thank you to the posters who have offered advice and opinions. To clarify, he told the teacher on playground duty as soon as it happened, he was sent to medical who gave him some tissue to clean it off with. He then panicked and went to registration and to his first two lessons because, as a previous poster has said, he's one of the good kids who would stress about not being where he's supposed to be and getting into trouble. He then went to pastoral at break after he phoned me. That's three adults he spoke to, none of whom suggested a change of trousers.

OP posts:

Wilburissomepig · 26/11/2017 09:14

Nope. Nope. Nope. If this had happened in the school I work in, this would be taken very seriously. Your son would have been able to either change into something else or phone you to bring something in. The child who had done this to him would have been dealt with severely. I think that's an absolutely awful thing to do with another person.

mum11970 · 26/11/2017 09:25

My kids secondary certainly don’t have spare uniform hanging around. Last time one of mine left a jumper behind and I enquired, I was told they had one jumper in lost property and believe it or not teenagers do not tend to lose their trousers. Dd ripped her trousers a couple of weeks ago and managed to source a pair of leggings off a friend until I got in but ds would most definitely be stuck wearing his pe shorts if he was lucky. School most definitely should have called you, I would be phoning to complain. No one should have to put up dog shit on their trousers all day, it’s disgusting.

twinone · 26/11/2017 09:26

I work in the design technology department at a school. We would have, had we known, popped his trousers on a quick wash and dry for him. I have done it more than once over the years, never for dog pooh though!!

It is absolutely disgusting and I suspect that behaviour would lead to a day or 2 exclusion at our school. The school are pretty hard disciplinarian's though!

School definitely need to do more regarding the other boy and also they should've done more for your ds.

twinone · 26/11/2017 09:28

Should say, if they didn't have their PE kit, they'd temporarily wear something from lost property for an hour or 2.

IceMagic · 26/11/2017 10:41

Oh poor lad, how disgusting.
At dd's school they do keep spare uniform at student services as when dd got a nose bleed over her shirt she was given a spare by them. (The spare wasn't quite the right shirt but didn't matter.) Understandable your son didn't have the knowledge to do that in year 7 though and a shame the teacher didn't point him towards student services.

WelshMoth · 26/11/2017 12:12

OP, good luck tomorrow. I'd be interested to hear their excuses. Yes, Pastoral leads are like headless chickens, dealing with a ton of issues, but they could have easily delegated to a form tutor (actually - why didn't his form tutor act upon it?).

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 26/11/2017 12:14

Peng OP has been quite clear.

Nothing else happened....at least nothing useful to her poor son!

Pengggwn · 26/11/2017 14:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Crumbs1 · 26/11/2017 16:02

Dippingmytoesin - no, state comprehensive. Their second secondary was boarding so it would never be an issue as they could go back to house and change. State comprehensive had lost property PE kit to cover themselves if necessary but it was five minutes in the store room if your trousers or skirt were ripped badly. I suspect they still do as pastoral care was a real strength.

Sludgecolours · 26/11/2017 16:10

Thank God for teachers like you and your colleague WelshmMoth

WelshMoth · 26/11/2017 22:18

Thanks Sludge. For every 1 teacher that is too focused on data and results because of the stupid pressure from above, there are 10 teachers who truly care and try their best.

I hope OP gets some answers tomorrow.

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