To be repulsed by husbands teeth!

[maggieryan]

I always look at peoples teeth, can't help it. I love a nice smile and have my own teeth shortened regularly and always get complements on them. First thing I noticed about my husband years ago was his great smile and lovely teeth. Now years later my husband teeth are in a state. He has weak gums and the top couple were moving outwards, he ended up going dentist and got them taken out and false teeth out in. Tried to be supportive and never let on it was an issue (never seen him with the teeth out) Anway he looked and felt a lot better, now two years on his two bottom teeth have moved and are starting to stick out, I've said about going back to dentist to get it sorted and he keeps saying he will but hasn't. It's very noticeable to everyone now and I'll admit embarrassed by them, I just think every one notices your teeth the first time they see you. I hate looking at him because all I see is his teeth. He afraid to go because he knows they'll be pulled but he will look so much better if they were. Fully expecting everyone to tell me how fickle I am and if I loved him it shouldn't bother me. I do love him but it does bother me. AIBU?

How old is your DH? I’m suprised that’s since you married him, his teeth (which were so good, they were something you first noticed about him) have deteriorated that much that his two top teeth have had to be removed and his bottom two are now sticking out so badly that it is incredibly noticeable!? I don’t think my or DH’s teeth have moved at all since we met (25 years ago).

We met at 25 and we are both 46, he has weak gums.

Mine are wonky, misshaped but clean and healthy.

My colleague has what looks like a slab of Cheddar stuck on her teeth - it's the worst tartar ever and her breath stinks to high heaven. She sits and picks at it then sniffs her fingers. It's foul.

DameDoom OMG, that's made me feel really queasy just reading about it. How the hell do you stand it?

Is it a medical issue that his teeth are turning? My OH top two teeth turn inward and I find it a very charming characteristic of his and even though I am very big on teeth condition and ensuring that mine look nice, I couldn't care less about his because I love him. I could never think that they would repulse me and I also wouldn't share it with hundreds of random strangers on the internet. Your poor husband.
If it's not a medical issue, I would either leave him alone or leave him if he repulses you that much. Imagine if it was a woman posting this! The comments would be very different.

Sounds like he has gum disease. Weak gums is probably 70% bollocks. The 30% May be accurate because there is a genetic component to gum disease but it can be treated so...

It’s also the number 1 reason I extracted teeth when I worked as a dentist. The teeth get so loose that they become painful to eat on and trap all sorts of bacteria and food which is unpleasant for everyone.

No advice for OP that she doesn’t already know.

*Barbara
*
Not everyone is a saint in their thinking I’m afraid but at no point have I said that I said anything to him about his teeth so to say it’s bullying is wrong.
He didn’t like his teeth, he wasn’t happy with his teeth, he was lacking in confidence because of them, he looked into getting them fixed.
I didn’t think they were great but hey ho. Pregnancy made me repulsed by him and his teeth (quite common to hate ones husband when pregnant). I looked into having them done abroad, encouraged him to do it and didn’t let the idea get swept under the carpet until he finally did it. Who cares whether my motives were selfish?
He has the teeth he has always wanted and I like them too hence everybody happy!

I’m pretty sure my OH would love me to have a boob job, we laugh about the state they’re in after nursing two kids to toddlers. If he enabled me to have a ‘little lift’ in the future by freeing up some finances and time I wouldn’t care what was driving his motives.
As a couple we’re not that sensitive.

You can justify how ever you like but if a friend of mine told me their partner had treated them like that I’d be telling them to LTB.

Not justifying anything love. Telling the truth.

You hate kissing your DH because you're repulsed by the angle of his two of his teeth. You do not come across well here. Have a word with yourself. Oh and of course YABVVVU.

“Weak gums”? Vague. Do you mean he has gum disease?

Why do you hate kissing him: tastes bad?

You still haven’t properly explained why he has actually lost teeth.

YANBU to be concerned if it’s a health issue he’s not addressing.

I'm not being vague.His dentist told him due to poor dental hygiene he has gum disease and weak gums which is why his teeth were loose and why he has dentures on the top. TheI bottom two are now loose and moving and I'm sore.that you think I'm fickle not wanting to kiss him but it's in my head all the time, I have images of them falling out as I'm kissing and easy to say you wouldn't notice or wouldn't care but different story when it actually happens to you, as for the person saying you wouldn't share it on internet, I'd rather get opinions here rather than being disloyal anf talking to friends about it, isn't that what numsnet is about?

I'll probably delete this in a while which brings me to.my next question.....how do you delete posts?..Thanks

You can't delete threads.

Oh ok, thanks

If you feel your thread is outing you can report your OP and HQ will sometimes delete it for you though.

OP you're not coming across well at all. Why are you telling your dh to get his teeth fixed? You're giving him a complex about it, poor thing!

Let me tell you as someone who has had prominent teeth all her life, I'd be absolutely gutted if my husband asked me to get my teeth fixed.

You don't sound like a very nice person.

Wow

When I met my DH he had teeth missing. He told me before we met face to face.

Didn’t bother me in the slightest. He actually has a really cute smile as he’s a bit unconfident about it. He sometimes remarks on them but I never, ever do. I love him the way he is. In fact, he got dentures made to fill the gap and I HATED them. It wasn’t him at all. Didn’t tell him that though, obviously, they were a ball ache for him and he couldn’t get used to them so they’re gone.

Yanbu- his current tooth decay is due to poor hygiene and care. I can only imagine that his breath isn’t great and that his hygiene is poor if he now needs 4 teeth pulled out. You are the one that kisses/is intimate with him, I think it’s understandable that his oral hygiene repulses you.

God thank you islington, I'd love some of the posters to be in my shoes, I love my husband and I don't hassle him about it, I'm hoping he will get it sorted himself soon. I am a very nice person, looks aren't important to me but good teeth and fresh breath is so if some of you think its ok to have bad teeth that's fine. I actually have decided in going to book appointment for him and hopefully it will be sorted. Btw I am unreasonable about a lot of things but good hygeine and teeth I don't think I am!

@paxillin half rodent had me crying laughing!!!!

I would take him to a dentist who tries other things before pulling the teeth. There are several treatments for periodontal disease to try but be ready to spend some money.

The worst thing to do is not see a dentist at all.

You said in your first post that you suggested he go to the dentist to get his teeth that are sticking out sorted! So you have mentioned it to him.

And I can't believe that someone's teeth would alter that dramatically sticking out just by getting older.

That's because you're obviously incapable of.reading, I can't be bothered explaining again. Read the bloody posts!!