To be repulsed by husbands teeth!

[maggieryan]

I always look at peoples teeth, can't help it. I love a nice smile and have my own teeth shortened regularly and always get complements on them. First thing I noticed about my husband years ago was his great smile and lovely teeth. Now years later my husband teeth are in a state. He has weak gums and the top couple were moving outwards, he ended up going dentist and got them taken out and false teeth out in. Tried to be supportive and never let on it was an issue (never seen him with the teeth out) Anway he looked and felt a lot better, now two years on his two bottom teeth have moved and are starting to stick out, I've said about going back to dentist to get it sorted and he keeps saying he will but hasn't. It's very noticeable to everyone now and I'll admit embarrassed by them, I just think every one notices your teeth the first time they see you. I hate looking at him because all I see is his teeth. He afraid to go because he knows they'll be pulled but he will look so much better if they were. Fully expecting everyone to tell me how fickle I am and if I loved him it shouldn't bother me. I do love him but it does bother me. AIBU?

There's a huge difference between otherwise healthy teeth which have grown in crowded and wonky (Bowie and Tom Jones as young men, for example - both beautiful in their own way and I think that Bowie's eye teeth were actually part of his aesthetic appeal) and teeth that are loose and shifting around or badly decayed. Some people are being overly sensitive about something that is nothing to do with the problem that OP is describing.

Bad taste, you need to read the second post in the thread.

And flumps are really bad for your teeth, you know.

Oops - I just read the first post and freaked 😫

I'll get my coat.

Bostin, I'm not shallow, I can't help how I feel, also my husband doesn't know my true feelings on this so who knows, maybe your husband is the same? He just doesn't tell you??

This makes me feel incredibly depressed and self-conscious. My dentist told me that I have excellent dental hygiene yet a combination of hypodentia and amelogenesis imperfecta has left my mouth a mess. What few teeth I have left are stained with the dentine showing through brown and I've lost count of the number of root canals I've had - I can diagnose an abscess within hours of it starting now.

Yes, I've got falsers but every set has hurt by the end of the working day, and it's sheer bliss not to see anyone and not wear them at weekends. I'm hoping that the local dental hospital will eventually agree to implant something to hold a permanent bridge in place as it's a congenital problem.

And people judge. I even insisted that my front teeth were ever so slightly uneven so to look more natural. Just to avoid the judging.

Don’t be depressed. I honestly would not judge someone on a flaw in their appearance. It’s whats inside that counts. I hope you get your treatment sorted.

Doubt a decent dentist would pull out healthy teeth for movement: do you actually mean his teeth are decaying?

I disagree. I think it's nasty to think like this. imagine if the op was a man talking about his wife's weight or that she wasn't wearing enough makeup?
It's worse though because having teeth removed hurts A LOT and you're asking him to go through that pain for vanity. I just don't think it's nice at all. I went with my DP to have his teeth fixed and it was horrible, he was in so much pain at the time and after. Unless it's necessary I wouldn't put that pain on anyone

When I met DP the worst thing about him was his teeth- not unhealthy but crooked.
Over time I kept dropping hints and encouragement for him to go abroad and get them fixed.
The dislike of his teeth heightened when I was pregnant and a bit crazy.
He went to Hungary for 10 days when dc was 3 weeks old (my idea). It was a tough 10 days but so glad he did it and so glad for the crazy pregnancy pressure I put on him to book it before baby was born.
We would never spend that sort of money on ourselves now.
I was completely selfish in my thinking at the time but the best bit about it all is the confidence change in him.
Everyone happy!

Op Im with you on the teeth! Its the one big turn off for me. I dont mean kids teeth while they are still growing up etc. And I dont mean adults teeth that are a little crooked or stick out.
But loose teeth, unbrushed teeth, prominently missing teeth, brown teeth, that sort of thing I really really struggle with.

thats horrible boys

@boysarebackintown2 that is actually one of the worst things I've read on here. Suprised he didn't bin you! What a cow!

and have my own teeth shortened regularly

Now I'm kicking myself at the spelling mistake in that meme, should have proofread before nabbing off the interweb

OP, it's worth spending money money on teeth. Even £50 for a guilt-free, non-judgemental private dentist treatment plan would be a start for him. He needs to know the options.

I'm a dental wuss btw.

iwanttobe8stoneagain it has taken over a year to get to the point when my dentist will replace them.

Mine were fitted when I was 17 and still at college by the NHS. They were deemed necessary after a root canal under all 4 front teeth when I was about 12. I had a series of reoccurring dental abscesses under all 4 front teeth. I suspect it was one big abscess that wasn't responding to ABs.

By the time I was 17 they were all discoloured. So had the veneers fitted. All good for 10 years or so.

Then when pg with dd I got another abscess under the 2nd tooth on one side which then ended up being a post and crown which failed so had a pallate for 6 months then a bridge fitted. And part of a veneer chipped off which was replaced by white filling.

2 years ago I got another abscess under my fronts. According to my dentist this was probably caused by bacteria entering under my gums as my veneers have dropped over time or my gum has shrunk.

So double root canal under fronts again. Dentist originally said once all infection has cleared and root canal settled down we could do crowns. However after an appointment with a dental surgeon to check the xrays and do an examination on the health and strength of the teeth, because of the bridge and because he was a lovely, lovely man and because my oral hygiene is very good and so on and so forth he has said I would be a suitable patient for veneers to preserve as much tooth as possible.

I need 3 ans because of the cost of lab work will have the 2 fronts done in January under 1 payment, then the 3rd done afterwards under a seperate payment.

I am chuffed to bits. Really chuffed. And might have cried a little bit when my lovely dentist told me.

As far as I understand it I can only have them because I want to preserve the teeth, because I have good oral health and because of the recent successful root canals, which leave the teeth thinner and they need the support of healthy veneers. I am there 2nd jan for the prep work then back 10th jan for the fitting.

Teeth are a funny thing. My 5 half siblings all have really healthy strong teeth. I have always been paranoid about my teeth so taken more care of them. My mum has shit teeth and so did my dad apparently. My dd has beautiful teeth. No fillings or anything and her dad has shit teeth too.

@boysarebackintown2 his change in confidence was probably because after years of you putting him down over his appearance you suddenly didn't have any ammunition to make him feel like shit about himself anymore.

OP while your husbands teeth may bother you, it clearly doesn't affect him. Why would you try and make someone you love feel bad about themselves? You say you're no oil painting, how would you feel if your husband insisted your body fat made him feel sick and not want to kiss you, and he kept suggesting you get liposuction? You'd feel like shit no doubt and resent him for going on about it. Personally I think there is nothing less attractive than bright white horse teeth, you like them so have them yourself but don't try and force your hang ups onto others.

I had slightly overcrowded teeth, had it sorted with years of traintrack braces and invisialigns, all the pain was for little benefit as they have moved back slightly, total waste of £5k, they were fine to begin with. Dd has inherited a gap in her front teeth from DPs side, I really hope she doesn't end up in a relationship with someone like you that is so vain that they would wage a campaign to make her feel insecure enough to have unnecessary dental work.

Haha well yes, I was completely mean and selfish like I said but everyone is a winner in my story.
He has the teeth he’s always wanted and wouldn’t have if it wasn’t for me and being a psycho when pregnant.
He looked into having it done in the uk before he met me but it was 25k+ which he could never afford. I pointed him to having it done abroad (quarter of the price) and said we could afford it.
Look, I didn’t go around calling him goofy or snaggle tooth (may have thought it).
The confidence is definitely from the teeth, smiles in photos now to say the least. So although it came about from me being a cow, it’s one of the best things he’s ever did (his words).

boysarebackintown

That’s vile abusive behaviour. It sounds as if you’re proud of it

Not proud but definitely glad 😀

Also, what is abusive about it?

My front teeth have been worn down because I grind my teeth while asleep. I have gnawed through so many gum shields. I keep my mouth shut for photos and never smile with my mouth open.

Does he not have a 6 monthly check up? Even after all the treatment he had for his front teeth? I would just book him in for a checkup when you are next booking yourself or you children/child in and tell him that the receptionist mentioned that he was overdue for a checkup, job done .

You basically bullied your husband in to changing his appearance for your sake. How would you feel if your husband did it to you? Say your breasts weren’t big enough or your nose wasn’t straight enough?

I

Silkpajams you obviously didn't read my posts properly, nowhere did I state he is happy with his teeth, he is not happy and has lost confidence, I have said to him a out going to dentist but he has NO IDEA I hate kissing him because of his teeth which is why I'm on here. We have a very happy marriage and hopefully always will.so please get your.facts.right before.commenting, regard bright white horse teeth? Where did that come from, I brigten my teeth every year but they're not bright white and certainly not horse teeth? Callmeadoctor that's a good idea, maybe I will just go and book appointment for him and hopefully he'll go, that's a good idea. Thanks all for your opinions.