To feel so let down by my side of the family.

[Elcybeecee]

Will try and keep this as short as possible, DS went into A&E Wednesday night with breathing difficulty, got dropped off in the middle of the night by DH who then drove home and went back to bed (he didn't think it was that serious). Spent 7 hours in A&E on my own holding DS (he's 11 months and couldn't be put down as had to stop him pulling his oxygen mask/monitoring device off) was texting dm from 6am that morning that ds was being put on oxygen that I was on my own and then that he was being admitted to the ward. Dm only lives twenty minutes drive away so I was sure she would pop in to see me while I was on A&E, she is normally a really involved grandparent, looks after DS a couple of days in the week while I'm at work and loves him to bits, but only got text from her to say keep her updated. Dh came back from work and we got admitted to the ward. It soon became apparent that ds would definitely be staying in so was sure dm would drop in to see him as some point that day. Dh got a call from dm at 6.00pm to say she had an appointment at 6.30pm and couldn't make it as visiting hours finish at 8.30pm. I couldn't believe it, she had booked to go away for the weekend the next day so I get that she had stuff to sort out but I can't believe she was that busy she couldn't spare an hour. Then got text from her in the middle of the night saying could she pop in first thing in the morning, I was staying overnight with ds in the hospital we had such a terrible night I forgot to reply, but she text the same to dh and he said please do come. Roll on lunchtime the next day and I called her to see when she was coming to be told 1. She was leaving for her weekend away now, 2. Ds had me and dh and that all he needed 3. She spoke to her friend about what ds has and her friends daughter had the same and was fine, so its not serious (he's been on oxygen and nebuliser since he came from A&E 4. That she has a slight cold and doesn't want to give it to him and 5. That she was going to come in at 6am to visit but I never got back to her (I don't know a hospital in the world that has visiting hours that start from 6am) . I was really annoyed but didn't say anything at the time, she away now and text me lots but it still really make me sad that ds hasn't had any visitors, DH's mum and sister live abroad and even they have offered to come over and give us a hand and see ds. He has now been on the ward for two nights and will definetly be staying another at least, so whats really tipped me over the edge is dsister called last night to say would we like her to visit I said great and gave her visiting times, text her this morning to say what time was she coming and she now said she won't be there until tomorrow. I replied back with a snippy text which I now regret, but AIBU to feel let down. If it was either of them in hospital I'd be straight there, that day not on maybe on day 4.

Regardless of your DH’s behaviour I would feel the same about how indifferent your DM seemed. You were scared for your boy and the support of a loving Mum would have meant so much. I get you.

unless you had other children at home then i would have expected your husband to stay with you. you are angry at the wrong person here.

Your DH left you and the baby there so he could go to bed?!! I have a 10month old and if my DH had even suggested this (he wouldn't) I'd have killed him. The issue with your mother and sister isn't great but I'd be far more concerned and disappointed with your 'D'H.

I think everyone is magnanimous in saying your anger seems to be misplaced here op, I wonder if you will come back and explain why your dh left you alone?

Well, he went back and worked the next day, too, ssd, so I guess the default is always the OP's mum. She has a cold, OP, for that reason alone she should be nowhere near a children's ward.

I would definitely say your Mum shouldn't visit with a cold especially at this time of year when lots of children are in with breathing problems.
My husband often drops me off at a and e with my daughter, we have an older child and are regulars in hospital so although he would like to stay it just wouldn't work- he need to work the next day as we're in for long periods and one of us needs to be getting paid! and really we're in the best place if she's ill and there's not much an additional adult could do although it's still miserable waiting to find out what's happening eyc
I would imagine your feeling a wierd combination of bored and stressed- time passes very slowly in hospital and you're probably shattered and craving adult company and that makes it hard when people say they'll visit and then don't. Make sure you get off the ward even for 15 minutes and stretch your legs, the nurses and student nurses in particular have always been very good at keeping an eye on DD if I nip for a coffee and if she wakes/cries they'll either sit with her or bring her to sit at the nurses station.
Finally lots of children do get admitted for problems with their breathing- DS had a stint on once at aged 1 and quite a few friends had little ones who needed a night or two of oxygen, I wonder if your Mum's friend was trying to reassure her that although it's scary and he isn't well he will hopefully make a full recovery and be back on the mend soon and just because he's had one admission needing oxygen doesn't mean he'll need more.
Hope your little one feels better soon.

Wow at OP being angry at her DM when it should be husband getting it in the neck!

Has OP been back?!
Definitely your ‘d’h the dick in this scenario!

', DH's mum and sister live abroad and even they have offered to come over and give us a hand and see ds. '

And this is all talk, v. your mother who's already looking after your DS a couple of days a week. They didn't jump on a plane and come.

Hope your son is home and also that you realise your mum and sister aren't at fault here, but your h who went back to bed and then sauntered off to work the next day.

A&E is not the place for visitors. Sounds like your mother has a lot more sense than you.