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AIBU?

To think that if you murder your partner, you should be considered to be dumped?

103 replies

BalloonSlayer · 24/11/2017 22:04

From BBC website:

A South African court has increased Olympic athlete Oscar Pistorius's jail sentence for killing his girlfriend to 13 years and five months.

How about "Murderer of Reeva Steenkamp has his sentence doubled."

I mean, do they think that if for some reason Reeva hadn't been killed that they would still be together?

How bloody dare they call her his girlfriend?

His girlfriend = 14 characters
Reeva Steencamp = 15 characters

OP posts:

Report

Battleax · 25/11/2017 06:33

Who can remember the guy who killed John Lennon or the name of the woman who OJ Simpson killed or the man who killed Jill Dando?

Most people?

And most people can name Reeva, mainly because of her death.

IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 25/11/2017 06:43

OP, I’m not sure I agree with you on the wording but I agree with your attitude. It’s

IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 25/11/2017 06:47

Posted too soon (actually my cat did ). It’s an injustice that women get killed by the men who profess to love them and then are treated as secondary characters in the media narratives that unfold.

How many times have we been told that a man who has just killed his family was an upstanding member of the community?

Mummyoflittledragon · 25/11/2017 07:03

She was his girlfriend at the time. If you replaced girlfriend with mother/father/child etc, it would be nonsensical to suggest otherwise.

Understatement · 25/11/2017 07:04

But she's dead precisely because she was his girlfriend. It is pertinent information.

AlongStoryShort · 25/11/2017 09:15

It would be worse if the headline was 'Pistorious' sentence doubled for shooting dead of his girlfriend who he thought might be a burglar'..............

AlongStoryShort · 25/11/2017 09:17

How do most of you feel about the verdict? Do you agree that he didn't know who was in that toilet? I know it wasn't proven that he didn't know, but it couldn't be proven that he did know either.

I know what I feel though. I feel they had an argument, she legged it and he shot her to death.

AlongStoryShort · 25/11/2017 09:19

I thought the prosecuting attorney wasn't strong enough on that.

AlongStoryShort · 25/11/2017 09:24

I dunno, law is an odd thing, and particularly, different countries have different standards, so maybe they were just going for murder.

AlongStoryShort · 25/11/2017 09:27

If they pressed for murder of Reeva, I'm not sure what the equivalent would be, but maybe premeditated murder. Harder to prove and possibly a heavier sentence.
As it is, despite the name on his sentence, he is probably serving what he should be serving anyway.

Notreallyarsed · 25/11/2017 09:32

Actually OP I agree with you, because taking her name out of it makes it all about him. The implication that she was his, she is nothing because he is the one everyone is focusing on. His actions, his girlfriend, his sentence, his fears. Nothing about the woman who’s life he took, or her future that he stole.
In general everything tends to focus on the perpetrators and their rights, it’s never, ever about the victims or the ones left behind to cope with a heinous crime and a devastating loss.
It minimises his actions, and belittles her worth and her family’s grief.

BalloonSlayer · 25/11/2017 09:35

Interesting points from everyone, much food for thought.

No one has mentioned that there is an extremely good chance that she wasn't his girlfriend at the time he killed her, and, as in the case of a lot of DV murders, that's why he killed her - because she'd had enough and wanted out. But as you all pointed out - we shall never know.

Poor Reeva.

OP posts:

BalloonSlayer · 25/11/2017 09:39

The example always given for the term "chutzpah" is of a man killing his parents then asking the judge to have sympathy for him because he is an orphan.

I used to think of this during Pistorius's trial. He was on trial for murdering Reeva and was constantly seeking sympathy "don't you know my girlfriend's just died?! Be nice to me! I'm bereaved! I'm so upset! "

OP posts:

52FestiveRoad · 25/11/2017 09:43

No one has mentioned that there is an extremely good chance that she wasn't his girlfriend at the time he killed her, and, as in the case of a lot of DV murders, that's why he killed her -

That is exactly what I was thinking OP but you beat me to it, I think she had already dumped him and was getting ready to leave when he killed her. Also, wasn't Reeva pretty well known in SA in her own right, she was a model and had a TV show I believe. So not some Oscar groupie that was desperately clinging to him for the fame. She was totally out of his league and he knew it.

lljkk · 25/11/2017 09:58

The moaning about not publishing her name is ridiculous. You wouldn't be talking about this story & it wouldn't be a headline if HE wasn't famous. You're only interested in this story b/c he was famous. Nothing but his fame makes this newsworthy. Let's discuss the headlines about other murderers in SAfrica that had their sentences changed in last 2 years. Wait, you can't find many... or any? Funny that.

AmeliaFlashtart · 25/11/2017 09:59

That was the relationship at the time of the murder.

BookABooSue · 25/11/2017 10:12

Along I agree with your view of what happened. I think they argued. He knew it was Reeva and deliberately followed her into the bathroom and murdered her. I think the only time he told the truth in court was when he 'accidentally' said he had shouted at her 'don't call the police'. He then changed it to 'call the police'.
As for the headline, I think it should have Reeva's name.But the fact she was his girlfriend can and should be mentioned in the body of the text because imo her murder should be viewed in the wider context of DV.

Uokbing · 25/11/2017 10:32

If you asked people who Oscar Pictorious is they would say the Olympian guy who murdered his girlfriend, if you then asked for her name I bet not many would know it.

Unless you were living under a rock, you would know her name.

Uokbing · 25/11/2017 10:42

Hang on, I Googled this report as in the Op the 'headline' read like a sub headline so I wanted to see the whole article. This is the article that the Op is referring to, it has the same sub headline:

www.bbc.com/news/WORLD-AFRICA-42107701

In the main headline it specifically names Reeva Steenkamp

I do agree that in some cases there is a long way to go (am thinking of Clodagh Hawes and the way that was reported) but in this case it seems like the Op has just found something to get offended by? The BBC has done exactly what everyone said they should!

Uokbing · 25/11/2017 10:43

Link fail

www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-42107701

Uokbing · 25/11/2017 10:45

And sorry, it was Clodagh Hawe not Hawes - if I am going to make a point about names I should get them right.

BalloonSlayer · 25/11/2017 11:02

Uokbing just because a web page says something at 10.42 today, doesn't mean it said the same when I started the thread last night.

It's not totally out of the question that if I, and some other people on here, think it's not on, that someone at the BBC thinks the same as us.

I may well have made a mistake, of course. However, the reason I came storming to my computer to start the thread was because I had been watching the news for a lot of the evening because of the Oxford Street thing, and the moving banner at the bottom of the screen only said "his girlfriend."

I have not "found something to get offended by" thanks, I WAS offended by seeing the name of a murderer scrolling across my screen at 30 second interviews whilst the name of his victim didn't get a look in.

OP posts:

ShoesHaveSouls · 25/11/2017 11:05

I've always thought it was a distinct possibility that she was trying to leave that night. My theory is that they argued that night- it was part of the prosecution evidence that arguing was heard and a man and a woman screaming. It was also known that she had met up with her ex - and that Oscar was a jealous and angry man.

Their text messages revealed a relationship only 3 months long- but with arguments, jealousy and her saying he scared her sometimes. His ex testified as to what sort of a man he was. The neighbours heard arguing, screaming. I'll never understand why Masipi dismissed all that evidence.

Anyway, he's been convicted of murder (in the end) - despite his best attempts to get away with it. And OP yanbu - I think she should be named. She's not 'his girlfriend' - her name was Reeva Steenkamp.

Uokbing · 25/11/2017 11:07

Uokbing just because a web page says something at 10.42 today, doesn't mean it said the same when I started the thread last night.

So are you saying the main headline has been changed? What did it say originally then because you only quoted the sub headline?

IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 25/11/2017 11:08

www.dailymaverick.co.za/article/2013-12-13-daily-mavericks-sa-persons-of-the-year-2013-anene-booysen-and-reeva-steenkamp/#.WhlLx6KnzYU

OP this is a good article that expresses your thoughts. It also talks about Anene Booysen a young South African black girl whose horrific death (following rape and disembowellment) shocked the nation.

It would be interesting to see if attitudes to male violence in SA have changed because of this but I very much doubt it.

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