Having not seen my parents for a couple of weeks, (though we speak on the telephone each week, I rang to arrange to call and see them, only to be told 'Sam is here' . I backed off and said it didn't matter and the call ended. We didn't go.
Back story, Sam is my brother. Sam hasn't spoken to me for 17 years since a time just before his wedding. Sam doesn't speak to my sons (his nephews) either. Sam and his wife didn't speak to our parents for 8 years but they are now in touch. If we go to family events Sam and his wife ignore me. If I walk or stand near them and try and speak they walk away.
My parents have chosen to live near to Sam, rather than in the town where I live. My parents walk a fine line needing to keep Sam and his wife onside in case he cuts them off again. Last week was that fine line, I couldn't visit because Sam was there.
Last year I was travelling as usual with my sons to my parents who at the time lived abroad. My brother booked his holiday in the middle of what was normally my holiday with them. I couldn't move my holidays as my boys had a holiday booked with their dad. My dad was very cross and told me I was selfish. I offered to still go and pay to stay near them but that wasn't acceptable I booked a holiday elsewhere with my sons.
Last school holiday my parents had planned to visit us fir the day. The day arrived, no word. I rang to let them know I was popping out for half an hour but would be back before they arrived. They weren't actually visiting me, Sam had called and invited them elsewhere. My mum pretended they hadn't made any arrangements with me. she tried to rearrange but we had other plans. My dad sent a rather rude and stroppy email telling me that he was fed up with me putting my partners family first???
Too much time has gone by for my brother to ever talk to me or my sons but I do think the situation is incredibly stupid.
I just wanted your thoughts. Is this acceptable? Am I being unreasonable to accept it?