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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do I really look in my late forties??

58 replies

milkyman · 23/11/2017 13:05

I got the pill today from the chemist. The pharmacist asked me if it was for contraception or HRT? I'm 42 and felt stupidly shocked that I've suddenly become older than I though I was!!!! Or would he just have seen my age on the form?!

OP posts:
SumThucker · 23/11/2017 13:06

Why would it mean you're in your late forties though? He probably saw your age written down.

flumpybear · 23/11/2017 13:07

I don’t see a problem he probably sees all sorts of people with HRT needs

BeyondThePage · 23/11/2017 13:07

He would have seen your age on the script (and contraception is free HRT is not, so he has to ask really anyhow if it is not written on there...)

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 23/11/2017 13:08

He may have asked the same thing if you were 22, if it's a standard question.

NatMatCat · 23/11/2017 13:09

Over 40 I think you are just 'old'. Try not to take it personally.

VladmirsPoutine · 23/11/2017 13:16

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar Who goes through menopause at 22? Hmm

OP, don't take it to heart. They have to make sure all the i's are dotted and t's crossed. Whenever dealing with personal health it's better for all involved to put vanity aside.

Ansumpasty · 23/11/2017 13:17

Maybe because not many 40 + year olds are on the pill? My doctors don't allow it over the age of 30 if you smoke and 35 if you don't.
Don't take it personally Smile

TheStoic · 23/11/2017 13:19

I guess we reach a certain age where it COULD be for either of those things.

Cheer up - he could have just assumed it was for HRT and not asked the question at all. Grin

GrockleBocs · 23/11/2017 13:19

Vlad it can happen.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 23/11/2017 13:19

It's not the pharmacist's place to make a judgement on your age, if it's a standard question and the two things are dealt with differently.
Where do you draw the line? One woman looks around 35 (she could be 45), don't ask. Next woman looks around 45 (could be 38), ask, and she's horrified...
Safer not to have to make that call umpteen times a week.

milkyman · 23/11/2017 13:20

Yes you're right, just being silly. I'm on the pill to regulate pcos.

OP posts:
auriofthemoon · 23/11/2017 13:20

Vladamirspoutine

1 in 100 women go through premature menopause. I’m 23 and my ovaries gave up when I was 22

Sammymommy · 23/11/2017 13:20

VladimirsPoutine women with early menopause... It happens, don't be incensitive

ReeOkAh · 23/11/2017 13:27

Vlad How about those who have had a surgical menopause?

helpmum2003 · 23/11/2017 13:31

For reference most women can take either combined or progestogen only (mini) pills to age 50. You cannot take the comined pill over 35 if you smoke.

Moveornot · 23/11/2017 13:32

Don't take it personally. I have lots of people tell me they think I am in my 30's when I am in my 40's. My Confused look comes from my neighbour who is 70 who makes lots of comments to me about us both being old and "our generation".

Flippetydip · 23/11/2017 13:37

If it makes you feel any better, I was let in to an over-40s swimming session when I was 27. One of the ladies came up and complemented me on how good I looked. I was horrified!

GeorgieBoy95 · 23/11/2017 13:42

Menopausal at 38 here..

PollyPerky · 23/11/2017 13:46

Maybe because not many 40 + year olds are on the pill? My doctors don't allow it over the age of 30 if you smoke and 35 if you don't

This is not so. 35???!!!

Some women take the CCP right up to the age of 50. I have a friend who went back on it around 45.

Evelynismyspyname · 23/11/2017 13:50

Move people have a natural tendency to unthinkingly assume anyone they interact with as equals to be "about my age" - works in both directions. In your 70 year old neighbor's mind, he or she may well see him or herself as looking not that much older than you!

Lots of people (not just elderly ones) have such a strong self image that it isn't remotely shaken by what they see in the mirror :o and they can see the objective fact that they have an eyelash on their cheek or food between their teeth and deal with it, without their self image being remotely shaken by the fact that the objective person in the mirror doesn't fit with their idea of themselves, who they are and how they look.

So many people think of themselves as ugly despite being average looking or attractive and vice versa, as looking young when they no longer do, as looking haggered when they look pretty fresh and well preserved, etc etc.

I expect most of us have met someone who thinks they look 10 or 15 years younger than they do and fishes for compliments about it when they really, really don't... Most of us go along with it too, because there's nothing to be gained from trying to point out the delusion and they make it blindingly obvious how they want to be complimented (If you didn't know I had a 20 year old son, how old would you think I was? If you didn't know I've been working here for 20 years, how old would you think I was?" type questions are blatantly fishing for "Oh you don't look old enough to have a grown up child/ a long work history, you look about 30! "etc)

ButchyRestingFace · 23/11/2017 13:54

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar Who goes through menopause at 22? hmm

Some unfortunate women go through it in their teens.

My gran was older - 37 - but still younger than OP.

Evelynismyspyname · 23/11/2017 13:54

I had assumed a co-worker was may age or a little older (I'm in my mid 40s) until she started fishing for complements about her age and when doubt and panic must have flitted across my face gave enough back story for me to quickly work out roughly how old she must be and guess 5 years younger. Which she was disappointed by because apparently most people think she's in her 20s! Erm. Oops... I think! Turns out she is in her mid 30s.

I know I look old and haggard, but she isn't nearly as fresh faced as she thinks, and she talks and acts like somebody at least ten years older than she is, which actually influences my thinking more than wrinkles or grey hair (both of which can be hidden to a degree anyway).

Hanuman · 23/11/2017 13:54

Vladimirs - unfortunately, I went through menopause at 22. Early menopause is pretty shit.

Ansumpasty · 23/11/2017 13:56

pollyperky It is in my doctors surgery! I wanted to go on it (I'm 31) and the doctor said they follow the NHS guidelines that suggest no pill (perhaps only combined?) after 35 and 30 if I smoked. He said he would give me it for a max of another 3 years.
If plenty of doctors follow these guidelines then the number of women in their 40s will be considerably less than in their 20s, which is probably why the pharmacist asked.

IslingtonLou · 23/11/2017 13:57

Visually there isn’t much of a difference between 42 and ‘late forties’ though? I wouldn’t get so offended about that short of a difference