How social media can come back to haunt you.

[JustHope]

So a little known YouTube star has been kicked off I’m A Celebrity because of comments and messages he sent in his teens. Also recently other stars such as Stormzy have had to apologise for comments made online when they were a lot younger. While I don’t condone what they said or did, I find it pretty alarming that things that people posted when they were young and naive can come back to haunt them many years later. It seems a bit unfair.

AIBU?

Sadly, in the early to mid 00s (and possibly later- I don't know as I was too old by then), it was entirely common for young people to call each other 'retards' and to use the word 'retarded' (especially in American slang). People in their mid 20s were using the word 'gay' to mean stupid at least up until 2010 or so without people raising much of an eyebrow. I am NOT saying that asking a 14 yo to see her breasts was ever acceptable- I was only referring to the language he used in his tweets. It was pretty unpleasant but I bet that is how he and his friends talked to each other at the time.

He is only in his early 20s isn't he? I don't think he was making these statements in the early or mid 00s. My two youngest are older than him, mid and late 20s, and they definitely knew these words weren't acceptable. Their school would punish kids for using these words.

I'm in my early twenties so it wasn't long ago that I was a teenager, and social media like Facebook, bebo, myspace, msn were all widely used. I knew not to put anything I wouldn't want seen by an employer on the internet, along with risqué pictures and personal information. But I wasn't as driven by the need for likes and recognition as others and I have already seen lots of people get bitten by things they posted online in the past.

Yes people change, but I'm not convinced that someone willing to publish racist or homophobic statements to the world will actually change. They may apologise and not say something homophobic again, but they will still hold other views which are of a similar vein and just haven't become as unacceptable in society yet. So they will stop using the word gay as a pejorative but will still refer to women as bitches for example.

Silky "Yes people change, but I'm not convinced that someone willing to publish racist or homophobic statements to the world will actually change."

yes, I was thinking that. Obviously this is not scientific but I went to a horrible gigantic school and I still know lots of people from there. The few who held really repugnant views at 16 still have them, though obviously they are not in a social group with the rest of us.

It's quite widely known but was made even clearer to me because I'm the wrong colour for them and my best mate is gay. I've even had the old "oh I say racist things but I don' t mean YOU".

also a pp says about it being more of a lesson for a children to see this happening than what they can be "told" - I agree. That said, social media can be a very useful way to filter out those people - if they say it online then you know to avoid them in real life.

Just to point out, wrestler Hulk Hogan was caught out using the N word in a private place, being filmed /recorded without his knowledge or consent, and was still fired as a result.
If you don't want it backfiring then don't use or express racist or other hate words, even in a situation that you think is private.

There is the term Indian Summer, which, according to some, has racist overtones, now long lost in the midst of climate change. But it is worth noting the origins.

blog.leeandlow.com/2009/09/10/a-summer-quandary/

I wouldn't call someone a racist for using it though.

"Yes people change, but I'm not convinced that someone willing to publish racist or homophobic statements to the world will actually change."

Agreed. My children are small and are learning quickly how they should treat others and language is a part of that learning. If I'd had FB as a teen I probably would have posted some daft stuff but nothing racist.

I grew up in the 80s and remember being disgusted, as a teenager, when one student called another a retard. Please stop suggesting that everyone that was a teenager 10yrs or more, ago were ignorant racists, bigots or creeps. Yes, there were gobshites and no I don't give a shit if it comes back to bite them on the arse. Like the odious 'lily' for their vile Facebook posts.

Being “young and stupid” is a piss poor excuse IMO. 16-19 year olds KNOW that using racist/homophobic language is unacceptable and has been for years. I cannot believe the people defending him, it’s unreal. It’s one thing if he’d made the remarks in an off-hand way to a friend, but he posted them on a public internet site. That’s never acceptable IMO. Ever. Regardless of age. Would you be calling him “young and stupid” if he’d made horrible sexual comments about girls??

Yes people change, but I'm not convinced that someone willing to publish racist or homophobic statements to the world will actually change

Exactly! At 16 I was wilful and stupid and had no real understanding of how the world worked but absolutely never used racism or homophobia because it's never been part of my vocabulary. The fact that your words might be published or recorded shouldn't be what determines the words you use; it's just part of being a responsible adult that you don't behave like a dick in public or in private. If at 16 you're unable to see that, you're probably still going to be a dick at 26, 36 and 46.

I am not defending the actions of celebrities like this, they have enough PR people and money to manage their image. I just find it worrying that ordinary young people can make mistakes and post pictures or comments online that years later may later be pulled out of the archives by an employer, a spiteful person that wants to hurt them in some way or even the media. I see things on DDs friends social media that I am sure they will be embarrassed about in a few years. Even young offenders as far as I’m aware are entitled to anonymity.