How social media can come back to haunt you.

[JustHope]

So a little known YouTube star has been kicked off I’m A Celebrity because of comments and messages he sent in his teens. Also recently other stars such as Stormzy have had to apologise for comments made online when they were a lot younger. While I don’t condone what they said or did, I find it pretty alarming that things that people posted when they were young and naive can come back to haunt them many years later. It seems a bit unfair.

AIBU?

As for the OP, no I have no sympathy whatsoever. It's no different to when those retail workers (from Asda I believe) were slagging off their management on facebook then were surprised when they were fired. I might have been sympathetic 10 years ago, but social media is not a new thing.
Anyone who is going into any branch of public life really needs to consider scrubbing their social media accounts before they get remotely famous.

Friggy I see that as issue as different from the one raised by the OP, (although I do acknowledge the wider connection).

Suppose I (a nobody) had sent a risque text message to someone 10 years ago - unless I suddenly become famous, no one is ever going to care. In the unlikely attempt of my making a bid for stardom, I'd consider whether I was prepared for, say, ex-boyfriends to pop up with 20-year-old emails or whatever before pursuing that goal.

Whether it would be acceptable for 'the authorities' to delve into my communications history as a private, law-abiding individual is really another issue.

I see that there are some possible distinctions. But I think the basic issue is that things remain on record (even if private now) and can be re-evaluated in the new context years later. As others have said, all it takes is for the zeitgeist to change on some issue, and you're screwed. This is alarming when it's public domain stuff (as in the OP), and even more alarming when it's stuff which you'd thought was private.

noeffing "I might have been sympathetic 10 years ago, but social media is not a new thing."

yes. I sort of did a double take when I saw this, because I was thinking, hang on, I've been on Twitter about 10 years! (not continuously)

I’m not either, amazingly. But I’d cop it on the chin if I did something wrong and it came back to haunt me. I wouldn’t be whining about how long ago it was, and how unfair the world is.

Would you be happy to be called a homophobe, based on language you used seven years ago, that was part of your cultural lexicon and and that you didn't really appreciate the meaning and impact of?

A girl I worked with used to say 'happy as a sand boy'. She was mortified to be told that was a racist phrase - she had grown up hearing it and didn't appreciate the roots of the phrase. She has never to my knowledge used it again, years later.

I don't think she's a racist, or ever was, and she'd be devastated if anyone ever said that her past use of that phrase - despite stopping using it after realising its impact - meant she was. I don't think that would be fair.

I agree, we should all take ownership of what we've said. Explain it, definitely. But I don't think anything positive comes from just 'shaming' people without a conversation around the culture that led to them using those words.

It’s basic internet safety that you teach 8 year olds.

Everything stays forever. Don’t write anything online you wouldn’t say to your mum or your boss.

If he’s too fucking stupid to have learned that then it’s his own fault

This was funny though!!

Would you be happy to be called a homophobe, based on language you used seven years ago, that was part of your cultural lexicon and and that you didn't really appreciate the meaning and impact of?

If I said it, I said it. I would either stand by it, or sincerely apologise for it. I certainly wouldn’t expect anyone else to make excuses for me.

Well, no. I don't think anyone wants to make excuses do they? I'm saying that I don't think just 'shaming' people is very productive, in pretty much any scenario.

I think shaming is extremely effective in many cases.

I think it’s also a great example to others of what can happen if you’re a cunt.

Do those of you with teenage boys who are 17/18 yo who regularly use snapchat, fb, twitter etc. honestly believe that their son has never asked a girl for a dirty pic? Really?

Mine isn't yet 17, though it's not far off. It's perfectly possible he will ask a girl for a dirty pic, in circumstances where it's likely the girl will find this humiliating and upsetting, although I hope I've taught him well enough that he doesn't. If he does, though, it's also perfectly possible that he will get an earful from me the likes of which he's never had before.

Just because it's common that teenage boys sexually harrass teenage girls doesn't mean we have to accept it.

What if you don't know you're being a cunt?

it's just so easy to make mistakes with it when you're young I think.

I monitor my 12 year old's use so regularly see what her friends/acquaintances are writing. So many of them get it wrong. Petty disagreements can escalate in a matter of seconds.

I dread to think what employers will be able to haul up from the past as technology progresses.

What if you don't know you're being a cunt?

Then you’ll learn something about yourself and how you affect the people around you. Win win.

I think it's all in its infancy.

Children today are taught by teachers (and hopefully parents too) about the indelibility of the internet.

I was born in '61 and am very thankful that there's no record of a lot of what I said and did in my earlier years.

I can put my hand up and say quite categorically that I've never even made a racist or homophobic statement, no matter about tweeted it.

As for this: "Not excusing his comments to the girl but honestly, I don't know many 17 yo boys who haven't asked to see a girls tits on cam.", what an unpleasant misogynist bunch of teenage boys you know.

And you think as part of that people deserve to have careers and reputations ruined?

I work with teenagers. Sometimes they act like twats but I have faith they're going to be lovely adults with a lot to offer the world. I think it's sad they could be paying the price for childish idiocy and arrogance when they have long left it behind, developed more mature views and values, and built a life around those views and values.

And you think as part of that people deserve to have careers and reputations ruined?

Depends entirely on what they’ve said and done, and how they respond to having it exposed.

Yes, that's true.

someone not knowing the origins of "happy as a sandboy" can't be compared to the language used by Maynard!

Also, some people saying the words might be part of the teen's world and they don't know what they mean - I don't even want to type the words used, but I don't believe that someone at 13 even doesn't know what those 2 particular words (racist and homophobic) mean. Also are we saying that teens who use those words don't know any people who aren't white (that's how I describe myself because I hate all the expressions I'm supposed to use) and don't know anyone who is gay? The latter - yes, possible I suppose but even so, they know what they are saying

some posters here are talking about 16 year olds. They are virtually adults, except we seem to be extending adolescence now.

Anyway, Maynard absolutely built his career on internet culture. He was seeking to attract followers who liked his language.

Anyone who works with teenagers knows that they say foolish things. Part of growing up is an understanding that actions and words said that are insensitive are indeed foolish things. You regret, REGRET, saying them. You put your hand up and admit it. And then you move on.

What I don't understand is arrogance. The I can say and do what I like and dang the consequences attitude. This is dangerous and most people don't do it.

"And you think as part of that people deserve to have careers and reputations ruined?"

I wouldn't want to hire a 22 year old who made those comments at 16, no. Also, this is not saying that Jack Maynard will never ever get a job again - but if one TV show decides their highly paid slot should be taken away from him due to things that he said on public record, I think that's fair enough.

"Anyone who works with teenagers knows that they say foolish things."

Yes-say them to friends, perhaps with some hope of them not being repeated.

But really, twitter etc is more like publishing (forever!)

I don't think younger teenagers realise it's on there forever, no matter how many times you tell them.

They say things online they wouldn't say in real life.

YABU some of the tweets of Maynard were homophobic and racist, he has sought the celebrity limelight and deserves to be outed.

Maynard being thrown off 'I'm a celebrity' for making such vile comments demonstrates very nicely to our kids who adore you tubers the dangers of making inappropriate comments both generally and particularly on social media in a way that is probably much more relevant to them and their lives than anything a school can teach.

She was mortified to be told that was a racist phrase - she had grown up hearing it and didn't appreciate the roots of the phrase

From what I have read, it is not racist. I thought it referred to the men who used to deliver sand to put on the floor of pubs. Apparently they were paid in drink for their work, hence the word happy. I have not seen it having a racist meaning. Could you clarify.