Not to pay for teachers' gifts?

[nutcasetobe]

Hi there,
I moved my daughter to a new school (private) this year, and couple of weeks ago, PTA sent an email raising money for teacher Christmas and end of year gift. They have asked for 60pounds per student. It’s not a big school, around 150 student and 15 teacher in total I would say.
I usually wouldn’t mind paying, however they did not give the option of paying less if you can’t pay or simply don’t want to spend that much. On top of that they started sending emails of who paid and who is yet to pay which I felt they were bullying the parents into it.
I always teach my kids that a gift has to be thoughtful and personal. I teach them not to be bullied to do something they don’t want or see right to do.. I feel I will be betraying my own self if I do... AIBU not to pay and possibly get my daughter in awkward situation with her peers?

This well out of order on so many counts.

State school here, and it's £5 per child for Christmas/end of year present per child, but no pressure and no nagging. I contribute because £5 is probably about what I'd spend if I did it myself, and I didn't contribute to the Yr 5 collection last year as both teachers they had were useless (I also flagged my concerns with school, as did several other parents who didn't contribute, so not just an empty passive aggressive move!)

If it were me I’d forward the chasing email to the head and chair of the pta.

It’s one thing to ask for money but to publicly name and shame the non-payers is quite another.

I’ve been year rep. One email get’s sent. No chasing / cc’ing other parents. Fcking awful - you’ve no idea about people’s financial circumstances.

So someone on the PTA will be looking after £9k in their personal bank account for nearly a year? Doesn’t sound very secure.

And I bet they don’t produce a full summary of how it has all been spent as well.

For the PTA to email like this is a breach of the Data Protection Act. If it’s not the PTA doing it, it’s wrong of the PTA to have given your email addresses to the person organising it.
It should also be going through the PTA’s bank.

This is the PTA, op says it is.not sure why posters would state this isnt PTA
At our school the PTA harpies send an email stating the amount to give
And the PTA amount to TA is less than the amount teacher gets.unfair

It ought not to be official PTA as any funds they raise are typically to be used "for the benefit of all pupils" or similar wording. There's usually a significant overlap between prominent PTA committee and class reps though so all the more important for them to ring fence and label funds accordingly.

Lipstick I think people are saying that collecting together to buy any staff a gift, isn't PTA business, and the OP has also said Also I don’t understand the transfer to a personal bank account.
Hence people saying it isn't PTA stuff. The PTA is there to fundraise and arrange events to benefit the children - this doesn't fall into that description at all.

Well it fits the behaviour of the PTA at school,My dc attend.class reps request set amounts of money and email whole class, and also copy everyone into replies. I thought that’s how PTA Runs,apparently not. Certainly the PTA do raise monies via fayres etc that buy items do the pupils but there is the undoubted power and Prima Donna angle of how they conduct themselves at our school. If you demur,or query anything that’s met with a reproach and it’s circulated about. And when Xmas money was collected you could pay cash or directly to class rep bank account

Then my suggestion to you would be the same as the suggestion to the OP.
People simply can't 'rest' hundreds of ££ of other peoples money in their bank accounts.
People can't circulate lists of which parents have paid and which haven't
People can't "demand" that people pay into a voluntary collection.
People can't "demand" that it is a particular amount.
If anyone started trying to do any of those as part of any group I belonged to, I would challenge it there and then.
It really is not normal behaviour.

I don’t pay the requested amount, I emailed and declined.that caused a drama
My kids spend the equivalent of their pocket money and they chose something eg teabags,biscuits for staff room
I just thought every school PTA had this,the alpha mums and habitual demands
It had no impact on my dc that I didn’t pay into group present as they bought gift with their pocket money (and I reimbursed them)
Caused a strain in relationships between me and class reps,but that’s no biggie really

That's ridiculous, state or private. Far too much and probably uncomfortable for the recipient. If I received a gift of that cost, I would feel that it would put me in a very difficult position if there were issues with children or parents later on in the year. I can imagine some parents thinking the teacher should dance to their tune, so to speak.