Not to pay for teachers' gifts?

[nutcasetobe]

Hi there,
I moved my daughter to a new school (private) this year, and couple of weeks ago, PTA sent an email raising money for teacher Christmas and end of year gift. They have asked for 60pounds per student. It’s not a big school, around 150 student and 15 teacher in total I would say.
I usually wouldn’t mind paying, however they did not give the option of paying less if you can’t pay or simply don’t want to spend that much. On top of that they started sending emails of who paid and who is yet to pay which I felt they were bullying the parents into it.
I always teach my kids that a gift has to be thoughtful and personal. I teach them not to be bullied to do something they don’t want or see right to do.. I feel I will be betraying my own self if I do... AIBU not to pay and possibly get my daughter in awkward situation with her peers?

When I was at school only creeps gave the teachers a present.

Personal bank account?!

Aside from the amount, there's no way they should be asking you like this, nor 'shaming' - what on earth are they thinking?! Was it a mistake/wrong attachment or something?

*gift

Maybe this is my evil and suspicious mind but. Is this £60 off each parent going toward their (PTA) night out at a posh bar and restaurant

Personal account eh?

"The money was just resting in my account"

£60 each???? No way would I pay that

Gosh my kids got the teacher something small from card factory or £3 bunch of flowers and cheap cards.
Secondary they had more than one teacher so didn't bother.
if they liked the TA they'd get a small present also.

Now at private school we don't bother, nobody has ever asked for contribution to teacher presents. They don't encourage it really.
They are just doing a job ffs. Although, admittedly a very good job.

Any teacher I know would be mortified
This! I'm a teacher and would be totally embarrassed by this. That is a ridiculous amount of money. I don't expect anything at Christmas, but would be perfectly happy with a card with a nice message.

At both my children's private schools we pay £35/year that covers gifts at Christmas/Easter and Summer, plus other stuff like gifts for parents with new babies/flowers for people in hospital etc.

If you're only happy paying £30/then pay £30.

No, I wouldn't do it based on the fact I wouldn't be told what I should be contributing. Our PTA suggests £5. Sometimes I will contribute to a teachers, gift sometimes I will buy my own. Last year I didn't contribute towards one of my children's teachers for various reasons.

Personally OP I would pay what you can afford or are willing to pay. They cannot force you Hun.

Are you sure your daughter isn't just trying to fleece you out of £60?

This sounds like a load of bollocks to me. No way would the school expect £60 off each pupil for a gift for teacher.

@Jilly12345
OP said she received an email from PTA so her child isn’t trying to fleece her x

Ooops, sorry. I can see that now. Thanks Laura. x

In that case, what a cheek!

The email someone suggested earlier, about telling the school you have made arrangements for a gift - and would like removing from the emailing list - sounds like a good idea.

I am really shocked at £60! I'm a teacher and would be mortified if parents contributed that amount of money towards a gift. I don't spend that much on my own family members! My children's teachers get a box of chocolates or a bottle of wine which I think is an appropriate thank you to them.

damson

I usually wouldn’t mind paying

Really?? Cos I would!

What's the gift - a Shetland pony?

Wow that's not a present its a Christmas bonus! Just say no, simple

At private school. Average donation is £5 a head!

That is ridiculous.
Best present I received at Christmas was a little bucket containing a small bottle of red and a small bottle of white wine, a hot chocolate, coffee sachet and fancy tea bag, several chocolates and some biscuits all wrapped in cellophane. It was great as I had some when I got home and put my feet up for half an hour. Lovely message in the card too.
Make something personal if you want to give a gift.

I want to work at that school! If you can't afford it, just say. Most parents who send their children to private school can afford to buy a gift of some description but choose not to. I have found a real mixture of expensive gifts to a bor of soap. It's the thought that counts.

Secondary teacher here so rarely get gifts except the odd card or box of chocs which are always most treasured.

Of course we get paid, but it's nice to be acknowledged for the extra unpaid and unseen work we do supporting the children. Today was pretty typical for this time of year - I went in early today to go through some exam prep with a few nervous Y11s, did a drop-in workshop across lunchtime, and stayed late at the end of the day, after 2 meetings, to watch and support some members of my form competing in an event.
Yes, all of that was my choice, nobody directed me to do it but I'd like to think the children benefited from it.

Fucks sake, 600 per teacher? Are they sending them on holiday or something?

Money aside, there are data protection issues being breached here too. It's not ok for your personal details, including a visible email address to be circulated without your permission. There may be exemptions for certain types of organisations, but the thinking behind this is wrong.

It won't be all going to the teacher - I am guessing that it will also involve TAs, deputy head, head, office staff, caretaker. That is where the money goes to in our school. Not even private.